


Staying with You Two Dorks

by ShovelsForFeet



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Background Ruby/Sapphire - Freeform, Emotional Abuse, F/F, Multi, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz - Freeform, Religion (in a bad light), Used to be "Shall I Stay?", polygems - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 72,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6823708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShovelsForFeet/pseuds/ShovelsForFeet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After transferring to a new college, Pearl finds herself a little bit of a loner until her dorm neighbors drunkenly sing "Can't Help Falling in Love" one night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tumblr: shovels-for-feet</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend listening to this beforehand. And also, I want to steal Elvis's voice. That is all. 
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vGJTaP6anOU

Pearl put a pink highlighter on her nose and managed to balance it for a record-breaking time of two minutes and seventeen seconds. She picked it up and stared at it dazedly. It was amazing how much fun mundane things were when one was procrastinating. 

Pearl actually prided herself on finishing assignments on time, early even, but tonight... tonight studying was difficult. The first two hours of studying had gone well up until her neighbors had burst into drunken song.

And if she were being honest, she was glad to hear them, even if they were keeping her from her work. Pearl had managed to cough up enough money to afford a single dorm all to herself, but after a few months in a new college she found herself a little starved for company. Voices through walls too thin would have to do.

And also if she were being honest, her two neighbors sang quite well, even while inebriated. One voice had a rather unique raspy edge to it while the other was fuller and smooth, with what Pearl assumed was some sort of English accent. Pearl let her eyes fall shut, the singing almost pleasant in her tired ears.

The songs had changed in style over the course of the night. Her neighbors finished with the old pops songs (which included a rousing rendition of We Are Young and a screamo version of Wrecking Ball, courtesy of the raspy voice) around one in the morning, and then they started on something slow and mournful.

She laid down on her carpeted floor with her hands clasped over her waist, listening, her studying ignored. Pearl took in a deep breath and let it out slowly to drive away the worried voice in her mind, nagging at her to review for physics. Who even needs physics? Another breath in, and then-- 

"Wise men say," her neighbors sung soulfully, "...only fools rush in...". 

The breath came out of Pearl in a quick whoosh. This song never failed to pull at her heartstrings; perhaps that was why she enjoyed it so much. 

"But I can't help falling in love with you...."

Pearl chuckled; she was fairly certain she was falling in love with her neighbors. They weren't quite as good as Elvis, but then again who was? 

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation that drove her to it, or maybe it was the song itself, but for some reason her voice joined with her neighbors on the next line.

"Shall I stay?" Pearl sang, her own melodious voice harmonizing nicely with the other two.

"Would it be a sin..." Halfway through the line her neighbors fell silent, leaving her clear voice ringing throughout her dorm room. Pearl supposed she had surprised the other two; maybe they assumed they were relatively alone, as it was a Sunday night and half the students drive back home to con their parents into doing their laundry on the weekend.

Pearl sang the next bit alone. "If I can't help..." 

But her neighbors returned with new enthusiasm, "...falling in love with you."

Their voices faded despite the fact that the song was unfinished, and for the first time that night there was silence in Pearl's dorm. Until someone pounded on her door.

Pearl startled as if awoken from a stupor and strode to the door. She squinted through the peephole suspiciously. Two people stood there; one was tall with dark skin and crooked shades over her eyes, the other was shorter and of Hispanic descent Pearl guessed, with very long and mussed hair. "Hey!" The shorter one said, "You sing like reaaaalllllyyyy well dude. Opennnnn sesame." 

Pearl noticed the unsteady sway and the slurred rasping voice of the short woman, and realized immediately that these were her drunk musical neighbors. She unlocked the door and the short women pushed past her to enter her dorm room. The other woman followed her, giving an apologetic and slightly slurred, "I tried to stop her," as she walked past.

"Well, come in," Pearl murmured under her breath. She closed the door behind them.

The shorter one guffawed and put her hands on either side of Pearl's face; Pearl yelped, stumbling down towards the drunk woman. "I'mmmmm Amethyst. What's uh, what'ssss your name? I betcha it's like uh, 'gorgeous' in another language or somethin', because-- because you're veryyyyy pretty." Amethyst gave an idiotic smile that was probably intended to be sexy.

Pearl pulled Amethyst's hands off her and stood upright, trying to ignore the flush on her cheeks where Amethyst had been touching. "Well, thank you Amethyst. My name is Pearl--"

"AH HA! Pearls are pretty! I knew it!" Amethyst exclaimed triumphantly. "See that Garnet? I'm almost-- almost good as you now."

Garnet shook her head and smiled. "Not quite." She offered Pearl her hand to shake, "I'm Garnet. You have a very nice voice." 

"Ah thank you." They shook hands for too long a moment, and Pearl studiously tried to ignore how very gay she was feeling due to that smirk on Garnet's face and her hand warm in her own. She scrambled for something to say. "So um, what did she mean 'as good as you'? Do you have a knack for guessing names?" 

Garnet grinned. "No, I'm just very good at predicting. In fact, I'd almost call myself a... fortune teller." Garnet took Pearl's hand and flipped it over, palm side up. Humming playfully, she brushed the tips of her fingers lightly over Pearl's palm. A shiver ran up Pearl's spine. 

Garnet tapped at a crease in her palm. "Yup. Right here. We were meant to meet."

Pearl raised an eyebrow, playing along. "Oh really?"

"Really," Garnet said.

Amethyst laughed a little too hard at that and fell down at their feet. She wiped a tear from her eye as she caught her breath. "Whew. No but seriously, I'm glad we /did/ meet. Your voice is like, silk or whatever. You gotta join us the next time we get drunk 'n' sing together, kay Pearl?"

Pearl gaped for a moment. "I'm underage!" She said.

"Pfft," Amethyst waved a hand dismissively, "So am I, besiiiiides, what's a little underage drinking anyway?"

"Illegal, for one thing," Pearl quipped.

"You don' have to drink if you don't want to," Garnet said, placing a hand on her shoulder and speaking a little too close by her ear. Pearl repressed another shiver.

"Ehm right, thank you," Pearl squeaked. 

Garnet hummed and bent down to help Amethyst to her feet. Pearl frowned, spotting something in Amethyst's mane of hair. She plucked it out to find herself holding a shrimp-- a live shrimp, with antenna and a head and squirming legs. Pearl shrieked and flung it from her hands.

Amethyst jumped, head whipping around to see what Pearl had thrown. She then dove to the ground and gingerly took the shrimp into her hands. "Pearl! You found Onion! We lost him like an hour ago!"

"On-- Onion?" Pearl asked, now thoroughly confused.

Garnet nodded, "Amethyst stole some shrimp from the biology department. That one is Onion."

"Ooookay," Pearl breathed out. She put a hand to her forehead. "You know what, I think I should be going to bed."

"Alright," Garnet said, "Come on Amethyst, we should let Pearl rest." 

Amethyst shot Garnet a pout but shrugged in the end. She nudged Pearl with a shoulder (as her hands were occupied by her shrimp) as she walked past. "Listen P, we gotta hang out sometime. Like, I didn't know you existed and-- and we're neighbors!"

Pearl chuckled uncomfortably. "Yeah, I suppose I don't get out very much."

"Well I'm sure we can change that," Garnet said, "If you want to of course."

Did she want to? Pearl glanced back to her textbooks forgotten on the floor. Studying can only get one so far, and it never quite soothed her desire for human company. Oh but what would her parents say? Pearl shook her head briskly. Her parents weren't here, now we're they?

"I'd love to," Pearl said, smiling.

And that was the day things changed.


	2. Chapter 2

Now that Pearl had met Garnet and Amethyst she began to notice them everywhere. She caught Amethyst's laughing eyes from across the quad, and passed Garnet on her way to math, and then saw both of them lounging in the student rec center, Amethyst sitting comfortably in Garnet's lap. 

Pearl sat down at an empty table under the trees, brushing away the ants as she did so. She mused on the strange idea that people are almost invisible until one is given a reason to notice them. It would explain how she was suddenly sighting those two everywhere. Now that she considered it, that might also explain her high school years.

"HEYYYO," Amethyst said loudly. Pearl stiffened, startled from her thoughts, and her grip tightened around her sandwich, unfortunately crushing it. She watched it crumble and plop onto the paper bag below it. 

"Hello Amethyst," Pearl deadpanned. 

"Oh," Amethyst leaned over her shoulder to peer at her ruined sandwich, "Sorry about that. I gotta remember that you frighten pretty easy. But hey, now it's a salad!" She offered a rueful smile.

Pearl shook her head, amused at Amethyst's attempts at reconciliation. "It's fine, Amethyst," she said as she wiped her hands with a napkin.

Amethyst brightened almost immediately, and the image of Amethyst with a wagging tail came to Pearl's mind; she hid the resulting chuckle behind her hand. Amethyst noticed, a hesitant grin on her lips, and asked, "What? What'd I do?"

Garnet sidled up next to Amethyst, leaning coolly against the table. "Stole my heart," Garnet murmured matter-of-factly.

Then it was Amethyst's turn to startle and blush. Amethyst lightly punched Garnet's shoulder, giggling. "Aww, stop that G, I'm gonna swoon." She draped her hand over her forehead theatrically and flopped into Garnet's waiting arms, humming contently when Garnet rested her chin on top of her head.

Pearl blankly studied them for moment, understanding dawning on her. "Oh. OH, you're-- you're together," she blurted out, gesturing to the two.

"We are," Garnet said, beaming. Amethyst just laughed all the while.

Garnet's tone grew a bit more serious. "Is that going to be an issue?" 

"No, no, not at all!" Pearl waved her hands. "It just surprised me. My apologies."

"You're fine," Garnet said, her voice calm once again. "Though I'm surprised you didn't guess sooner; your gaydar must be a little rusty."

She was playing with her, Pearl realized. Did-- did Garnet know? Pearl cleared her throat quietly. "Is gaydar another one of your fortune teller skills?"

Garnet shook her head lightly so as to not disturb Amethyst (who was slowly being lured into sleep by the warm sun against her skin). "I'm only a fortune teller when I'm drunk. But gaydar.... That's pretty constant. And I'm /very/ good at it." 

"Oh. So you...." Pearl swallowed. Coming out was nearly as difficult as it was the first time. "You know that I'm, uh," she stuttered, red-faced. "I'm--" She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated with herself.

"I know, I know. Don't strain yourself," Garnet said, her voice kind and soothing.

Pearl nodded, smiling shakily. "....How did you know? Well besides your impeccable gaydar."

"You blushed quite a lot last night," Garnet remarked.

Pearl looked away and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "Ah yes, I can see how that would give it away."

"Are you out?" Garnet asked quietly.

Pearl grimaced. "Halfway. Most of my family doesn't know, but I had some friends that did. They're all at my old college so I guess maybe that doesn't count."

"Your old college? Did you transfer?"

"Mhm, just started here this year," Pearl said. 

"Oh, well that explains how we had never seen you before. What was your old college?"

Pearl laughed. "Some teeny tiny school way down in the South."

"The South," Garnet hummed in thought for a moment. "Are you from there?"

"Yes."

"You don't have the accent."

"Not everyone does. But I will admit that it slips out sometimes," Pearl confessed.

Garnet grinned, eyebrows peeking out above her shades. "I'll be looking forward to it."

Amethyst grumbled and stirred in Garnet's arms. "Mm? Who's gotta accent?" 

Garnet glanced down at her, chuckling. "Not Pearl apparently."

Amethyst groaned at the smart-aleck answer, rubbing at her eyes to keep the sleep away. "No seriously, what'd I miss?"

Pearl huffed and shook her head in false annoyance before giving a very summarized version of her and Garnet's conversation.

"Huh," Amethyst said eloquently. "So why'd you switch schools?"

"My family moved, and they wanted me to go with them," Pearl said, regret ghosting in her eyes. She tried to play it off with a shrug, but had a feeling they saw through it.

"I'm sorry," Amethyst uttered. Garnet offered an apologetic half smile as well.

"It's fine, it's fine. Nothing I can do about it now," Pearl said, brushing their condolences away.

Silence fell over the trio. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable; filled with the sound of chirping birds and wind pushing leaves across pavement. Pearl found herself gazing at the how the sunlight filtered in through the trees and fell dappled against Garnet's curly hair and over Amethyst's skin. It really wasn't uncomfortable at all.

Garnet shifted. "I think it's almost time for your next class Amethyst."

The shorter woman groaned, eyes kept stubbornly closed. "Screw class. I wanna chill with Pearl some more."

"Nope. Come on, I'll walk you there," Garnet replied, pushing Amethyst's weight off her and then dragging her upright.

"I'm sure we'll have other chances to talk," Pearl assured her.

"Wait!" Amethyst pounded her hands against the table, struck with inspiration. "There's a party tonight at Vidalia's. Come with us. We can hang out more there."

Pearl blinked. "Uhh...." 

"You don't have to stay the whole time," Garnet said. "You don't even have to drink if you don't want to."

"I'll-- I'll think about it," Pearl said.

"Yeah, and we'll watch you so you don't get kidnapped by creepers," Amethyst added.

Garnet dug around in Amethyst's backpack and pulled out a pen and paper. She scribbled something down on it and passed it to Amethyst, who grinned and then did the same. "Here," Amethyst handed the paper to Pearl. "Text us if you decide you wanna go. Or heck, knock on our door even. But no pressure, P. Don't do anything you don't want to."

"I will... keep that in mind. Thank you." Pearl folded the paper and placed it carefully in her pocket.

Garnet smiled. "Alright, we'll see you around Pearl."

"Yeah, see ya!" Amethyst waved hugely despite being not four feet away.

"See you," Pearl murmured, watching the two leave as her mind whirred.

To go or not to go? 

Pearl groaned and stared skyward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter goes up tomorrow. It should be a little bit longer than the first two.


	3. Chapter 3

Pearl paced around her dorm room, alternating between wringing her hands and running them through her hair. She checked her phone for the tenth time and read Amethyst's text again: "Dude you're overthinking this" which was her response to Pearl's storm of fretful twenty questions.

"Overthinking this?" Pearl muttered to herself. "Overthinking this?! If my sister even catches a whiff of me going to a college party...." She groaned. "Yellow will run straight to mom and dad and they'll cut my finances off-- god, and they'll moan for weeks about 'how could my good Christian daughter do this to me?' and--" Pearl took a deep breath, shoulders heaving. "I AM AN ADULT GODDAMMIT!"

Her phone buzzed; Amethyst again, "Wyd man? You talking to yourself?"

"I'm going to the party," Pearl texted back quickly (and before she could change her mind).

"Sweet. Me and G can give you a ride there," Amethyst replied.

Worn out from her outburst, Pearl collapsed onto her couch. "Did it," she whispered, "I actually did it. I'm going to a party." A tired laugh bubbled up in her throat.

"Oh. But what will I wear?!"

\-----

"Lookin' good P," Amethyst said, glancing Pearl over. Pearl had settled on an outfit that was nicer than what she usually wore but still casual.

"Thank you, Amethyst," Pearl said, "You look very nice as well." Frankly, Pearl thought Amethyst could look nice in anything, but that wasn't exactly an appropriate thing to say at the moment.

Amethyst blushed and laughed. "Aren't you a charmer?" 

Garnet walked out of the dorm and locked it behind her. "We ready to go?"

"Hell yeah, LET'S GOOOOOO," Amethyst bellowed, taking both Pearl and Garnet by the wrist and pulling them down the hallway. She released their arms to hop down the stairs, two steps at a time.

"Amethyst," Garnet said, "You'll wear yourself out before we even get there."

"Then I'll take a nap at Vidalia's! Come on you slowpokes!"

Garnet shook her head, the smallest hint of a smile on her lips, but kept pace with Pearl instead of bounding after Amethyst. Pearl glanced at Garnet's barely readable expression, those dark glasses obscuring the emotion in her eyes, and Pearl wondered what went on in the woman's head. And also wondered why she wore sunglasses indoors.

"Hey Garnet?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry to ask, but why do you wear those glasses?"

Garnet reached up to adjust the said glasses as she spoke, "My eyes are sensitive. Light hurts them." She paused, a smirk on her lips. "And no, I don't wear them because they make me look cool."

Garnet's tone made Pearl realize that Garnet must get that question often; Pearl grimaced.

"It's fine, Pearl."

"Guys! Come on!" Amethyst bounced excitedly at the bottom of the stairs. She clamped onto their wrists as soon as they were on flat ground and dragged them out to Garnet's car. "God you guys are slow," she muttered.

Pearl huffed as she climbed into the backseat. "It's much safer to go down the stairs one at a time, Amethyst. I'm not going to go tripping down the stairs after you."

"But nobody tripped down the stairs, now did they Miss Mother Hen?" Amethyst teased.

"Children," Garnet cut in. "Don't make me turn this car around."

"The car isn't running yet G."

Throwing Amethyst a pointed look, Garnet put the key in the ignition and started the car. 

The drive to Vidalia's was very loud, in Pearl's opinion. Amethyst had switched the radio to whatever was in their CD player and both Garnet and Amethyst began to sing along. Pearl was almost impressed as she was last night. 

From the passenger seat Amethyst turned to glance back at Pearl. "Come on P, you should know the words by now."

Pearl shook her head, laughing quietly. "I know the words but that doesn't mean I'm going to say them." The lyrics were a tad too inappropriate for her to comfortably repeat.

"You too good for cool music, P?" 

"No," Pearl insisted, fighting off a pout. 

"What kind of music do you listen to then? I bet it's like, piano music or something nerdy like that."

Pearl rested her head against the seat in front of her to hide her red face. She did indeed listen to piano music, but she was at loath to admit that to Amethyst. She grumbled something incoherent instead.

"P?" Amethyst leaned further out of her seat. She laughed when she saw Pearl with her face buried in the back of Amethyst's headrest. "Hah, did I guess right?" 

Pearl grumbled again, face smushed against the headrest. 

"Hey, don't be upset," Amethyst said with a chuckle.

"I'm fine." Pearl's voice was muffled.

Amethyst fell quiet for a moment and then, "Hey P?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I touch your hair?"

Pearl lifted her head up, a questioning eyebrow raised. 

Amethyst squirmed in her seat. "I'm not gonna like, spit gum in it or anything, seriously."

"Alright," Pearl said slowly. 

Sighing, Pearl rested her head against the seat again, but with her head tilted this time so she could see. Amethyst brought a hand up and grazed her fingers through Pearl's short hair, surprisingly gentle. On the next brush she applied more pressure and then lifted a few strands up to examine them. 

"You have a weird hair color P," Amethyst murmured.

"So I've been told," Pearl replied. Her eyes closed as Amethyst resumed playing with her hair. The steady, rhythmic motions made Pearl pleasantly sleepy. She had stayed up far too late last night. Maybe a nap would--

"We're here," Garnet announced. 

Never mind.

\-----

"Soooo not too bad huh?" Amethyst said, gesturing to the room around her with a cocky smile.

"No, it's not bad at all. I'm having fun," Pearl said. 

The party wasn't as crazy as she had feared; she supposed maybe the college parties on tv weren't exactly an accurate portrayal. There was still dancing and drinking, but the dancing burst out every so often and then faded, and wth the drinking-- no one was inside a chanting circle of people while chugging beer, thank goodness.

Amethyst slapped Pearl's back, "Well I'm glad. Heh, you did all that worrying for nothin'."

"I guess so," Pearl admitted. 

She took a sip from her soda and from the corner of her eye watched Garnet sneak up behind Amethyst. Garnet put a finger to her lips, signaling for Pearl to keep quiet. Quickly wrapping her arms around Amethyst's shoulders, Garnet leaned down to triumphantly whisper "Boo" in her girlfriend's ear.

"Hey G." Amethyst grabbed one of the arms in front of her and turned towards Garnet. They kissed...and then they kept kissing. Amethyst twisted her hands into the front of Garnet's shirt and tugged her closer, while Garnet pressed them both back so that they leaned against the wall. When Amethyst groaned heatedly into the kiss Pearl had to look away, red-faced.

Pearl escaped to the backyard patio, closing the door and sighing once the noise was muffled. The stillness outside in the dark created an eerie sort of contrast to the party indoors, but Pearl found herself enjoying it anyway. It was better than whatever feelings arose within her after watching Amethyst and Garnet make out; it was an odd feeling she couldn't place, like emptiness almost. 

Huffing out a sigh, she craned her neck to gaze at the scattering of stars. Rose loved the stars. She and Pearl used to sleep over at each other's houses and sneak out at night to watch them. Pearl chuckled fondly at the memory and her eyes suddenly burned. The stars blurred and a tear trekked down her face, the night air making it cool against her cheek.

"Silly," Pearl muttered, scrubbing the moisture from her eyes. 

Leaning on the house, she slid down to the patio and hung her head to stare at the gritty pavement; the stars too painful to gaze at anymore. They were just silly reminders of all she had left behind, like the thrill of kissing Rose behind the shed during the night of the summer barbecue and finally pulling away to stare at the stars in the sky and marveling at how they weren't quite as lovely as the ones in Rose's eyes and.... 

Pearl swallowed, trying to clear the lump in her throat. "Don't think of that," she whispered to herself, "What good will it do?" She rested her head on the house and caught a glimpse of the stars before closing her eyes. Maybe Rose was out there somewhere looking at them too.

"Pearl? Pearl, wake up."

Pearl opened her eyes, groggy. "....Rose?"

"No, it's just us P."

The present caught up to Pearl with whiplash-inducing speed, leaving her with a biting sort of breathlessness. "Oh," she uttered.

Garnet kneeled beside her and rubbed her arm, watching her carefully. "Are you alright?"

Pearl could see her reflection in Garnet's shades and was surprised to see herself looking so small and ashen, her hair unusually disheveled. She grimaced and looked away quickly, her gaze once again drawn to the stars as she tried to formulate an answer. "....Just homesick," she settled on.

"No one messed with you did they?" Amethyst asked, fear in her eyes.

Pearl shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Sorry to worry you."

Garnet and Amethyst both let out audible sighs of relief at that. "Come on," Garnet murmured; she gently took Pearl's arm and motioned for Amethyst to take the other, and together they lifted her onto her feet. "Now, uh, we're in a sort of predicament," Garnet started hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" Pearl asked, stretching out her stiff limbs.

"Amethyst and I are a bit too drunk to drive and Vidalia has personally taken our keys, so ah, you're gonna have to convince Vidalia you're sober enough to get us back to campus."

Pearl scoffed. "Of course I'm sober enough! I haven't had any drinks!"

Amethyst held her hands up in a placating gesture. "Go tell her that then."

"Fine." Pearl strode back into the house, Amethyst and Garnet trailing behind her.

The party had died down significantly. People snored in corners and on sofas, making the whole place a little haphazard to walk through. Pearl found their host lounging on the couch in her black leather jacket and spikes, protectively holding a dragon's horde worth of car keys in her lap.

"Vidalia! Can I please have Garnet's keys? I'm not drunk, I swear," Pearl said, cringing as the words left her mouth; it was exactly what a drunk person trying to get their keys would say.

Garnet and Amethyst waited for the verdict behind Pearl.

Vidalia scrutinized Pearl with narrowed eyes for a long moment. "Eh, you certainly look drunk to me," she finally decided. "Sorry Pearl, no keys."

"I look drunk? /I/ look drunk?!" She was about to burst into a tirade when she recalled her reflection in Garnet's shades; her unusual pallor and messy hair. Shit. Her posture slumped at the realization. "Oh. I do look drunk," she breathed. 

"Yeap," Vidalia said, emphasizing the 'p' at the end. "And you're acting like it too. But listen--" Vidalia began to address all of them, "Since Amethyst is a friend of mine I'll let you three take the best bed, okay? My parent's room is upstairs, to the left."

Pearl jumped, literally bounded halfway across the room, at the mention of sharing a bed with the two of them. Vidalia watched her with a dry sort of amusement and Amethyst erupted into loud laughter. 

"Jesus P, we're not gonna-- we're not gonna like, fuck right next to you," Amethyst said between giggles.

"I can sleep on the floor. It's fine," Pearl tried.

"You'll hurt your back," Garnet said.

Amethyst laughed again, giddy and a little drunk, and darted to Pearl to place her hands on her shoulders. "Garnet /knows/ things P, so you better listennnnnnn," she singsonged.

Pearl pulled away from Amethyst's grasp, her face hot. "I don't know.... It seems inappropriate."

"You can sleep somewhere else if you like, though I would advise against it," Garnet said, head tilting to glance warily at the sleeping college kids in the room. "I'm tired so... come upstairs if you change your mind."

"Night P!" Amethyst skipped after Garnet up the stairs.

Pearl groaned and set out to find a decent place to sleep. The search was fruitless, she soon found out, as every soft surface was already taken. She didn't want to sleep on the linoleum flooring and didn't dare to check out the other upstairs bedrooms (god knows what was happening in those rooms), so she finally gave up her embarrassment and her pride and trudged upstairs. Sleep weighed heavily on her as she rapped on the door to the master bedroom. 

"Pearl?" Garnet called.

Pearl rested her head against the door. "It's me," she groaned.

"It's unlocked."

Pearl swung the door open and stumbled inside, closing it behind her as an afterthought.

"Dude, don't collapse okay?" Amethyst teased, peeking over the covers.

"Mmhm," Pearl mumbled before shutting herself in the bathroom. She attempted to follow her usual bedtime routine, washing her face and all that jazz, but the lack of a toothbrush made brushing her teeth slightly impossible to do. Or at least impossible in her current sleep-addled state.

The sheets on her side of the bed were cool when she finally crawled in. And the darkness was soothing. Garnet rolled over to ruffle her hair fondly and whisper, "Good night." Amethyst peered over Garnet to say her own long winded good nights, "Good night, don't let the bed bugs bite, and the nerd bugs, and the skunk bugs, and the--"

"Shhhh, Amethyst. Sleep," Garnet commanded.

Pearl laughed tiredly. "Good night you two."

Sleep was just beginning to muddy her thoughts when she felt Garnet press into her side and wrap an arm around her waist. Pearl instinctively moved closer to rest her head under Garnet's. A bleary thought flashed through her mind, that maybe she shouldn't be cuddling with someone who is already dating someone, but she was half asleep and couldn't be bothered. 

Besides, Garnet had started it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must confess that I listened to "Young and Beautiful" on repeat while writing that part about Rose and the stars. The line 'hot summer nights, mid July' just Gets to me, ya know? I'm glad summer is just around the corner.


	4. Chapter 4

A steady beat sounded in Pearl's ears, her cheek smushed up against something warm and firm. She woke slowly. The warmth was so pleasant she almost let herself fall back to sleep, and she would have if she hadn't suddenly questioned who she was in bed with. She tilted her head and glimpsed gorgeous dark skin. Ah. Garnet. 

Pearl wondered how she had managed to come to be cradled against Garnet's chest, listening to her heartbeat and feeling her inhales and exhales. If the arm tangled around her shoulder had anything to do with it, she'd say this was Garnet's doing.

Pearl chuckled and sighed happily, causing Amethyst's hair to tickle her nose. 

"Hey, you awake?" Amethyst shifted so that they were practically nose to nose upon Garnet's chest.

"Yes," Pearl whispered, amused.

"Garnet's not," Amethyst said just as quietly.

Pearl hummed, resting her head against Amethyst's, her beaked nose on top of her unruly mane once again.

"You always this cuddly? Not that I'm complaining or anything," Amethyst teased.

"Sometimes. With certain people," Pearl admitted.

"Awww, well I'm /flattered/ that I'm one of those people," Amethyst said in an exaggerated way.

Pearl smirked into Amethyst's hair. "Don't let it go to your head. And I don't think it really counts since you two were so cuddly already."

"Pssh, do you know how long it took to finally get Garnet to enjoy cuddling? What a stoic baby," Amethyst scoffed. "I'm glad to see how far we've come, cuddling strangers and all."

"I'm not a stranger," Pearl insisted.

"Almost. We only met ya the day before yesterday."

Pearl frowned. "It feels much longer than that."

"Yeah," Amethyst chuckled, "I know what you mean."

After a comfortable pause Pearl spoke again, "How long have you two been dating?"

"Oh geez, what's it been... three years?"

Impressed, Pearl moved her head so she could see Amethyst's face. "That's longer than any of mine."

"Yeah," Amethyst said, watching Garnet's abdomen rise and fall under her hand. "She's pretty great." A mischievous grin worked its way to her lips. "Buuuuut she needs to wake up." 

Amethyst sat up with some difficulty (Garnet's other arm was around her waist) to poke persistently at her girlfriend's face. "Garnnneeeetttt, wake uppppp."

Pearl shifted Garnet's arm off her shoulders as well, and moved away from the couple, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Groaning, she stretched, back tensed and arms grasping each other in the air. She relaxed again.

"Tha' was almost musical," Garnet remarked.

Pearl turned around, blushing from Garnet's comment on the noise she had just made. "Uh, thank you...?"

Garnet chuckled, rubbing around her eyes to drive away the fog of sleep. She grabbed her glasses off the nightstand and checked her phone.

"We should get back to school. I have a class at noon," Garnet realized.

"Oh, you're right!" Pearl squawked, springing up and glancing around the room wildly. She dived under the bed for her shoes, startling both Garnet and Amethyst. 

"What was I thinking? A party on school night?" Pearl muttered, halfway under the bed.

"Jesus P, you worry too much," Amethyst said, laughing.

\-----

After helping Vidalia tidy up her parents' house and then driving back to campus (with the radio off this time; the noise made Amethyst wince, her hangover having finally caught up with her), Pearl said farewell to Garnet and Amethyst at her door and went inside. 

Her class was in two hours, meaning she had panicked for nothing and she had some time to kill. Pearl kicked her shoes off and slipped into bed. All the activity of yesterday had worn her out, and while she knew she wouldn't be falling asleep since she just woke up, she laid there anyway to enjoy the comfort of her own bed. 

But she wished Garnet and Amethyst were there with her.

Goodness. Her eyes sprung open. Where did that thought come from?

Pearl shook her head briskly, pushing the thought away. "You just saw them, Pearl. Clingy much?" She sighed; Rose always hated it when Pearl talked badly of herself. 

Rose. Now she missed her too.

Pearl reached for her phone and tapped Rose's conversation. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard as she tried to figure out what she wanted to write. There were half a million things she could say, like 'I miss home' and 'I wish I had told my parents to shove off when they wanted me to move with them' and 'I miss you.' 

"Hey," she typed and sent.

She was pleased to see the three dots pop up almost instantly.

"Pearl! It's so good to hear from you! You haven't texted me in a while. I was getting worried," Rose replied. 

Pearl smiled sadly; she had read the text in Rose's voice and had imagined her expressions, her sparkling eyes.

"Don't worry. Though since you will end up weaseling it out of me anyway, I admit that I have been throwing myself into my schoolwork a little too much lately."

Pearl reflected briefly on her nights of hard and unnecessary studying-- her attempts to distract herself from a terrible combination of loneliness and missing Rose. 

Her phone buzzed. "Please take care of yourself Pearl."

"I am. I'm okay. Don't worry about me," Pearl texted back.

She knew Rose would keep this topic up if Pearl didn't change it soon. Sighing, she added, "How's Greg?" 

Initially, Pearl had carried some jealousy over him dating Rose, but when it came time to move she bitterly realized Rose dating Greg was a good thing; at least Rose still had him left.

"He's great! He had a concert the other day and it was a big hit with everyone!"

Pearl laughed, knowing "everyone" probably meant a max of ten people. But she typed, "I'm glad to hear that," because if Greg was happy, so was Rose.

Rose replied with another bubbling text about Greg. Pearl smiled a little; it was nice to know Rose was still happy, but Pearl's chest stung and she wasn't sure if it was out of jealousy or wanting to be with Rose in person. 

Pearl awkwardly hesitated once again above the keyboard. She froze. An uneasy sense of dread emerged within her; it had never been more difficult to continue a conversation with Rose, and it used to be so effortless. They were slipping apart-- repeating the same topics with different words, at a loss of what more to talk about. Four months since they had last seen each other, Pearl thought grimly. 

Of course they drifted apart. 

Pearl stared at Rose's last text, still unanswered. "I miss you," her shaking fingers typed.

The air stilled in the moment before Rose's reply. 

"I miss you too."

And Pearl let the conversation die, staring blankly at her ceiling, phone dark in her hand.

\-----

After her classes that day, Pearl found herself sitting in the smallest of her campus's dining places. It mainly sold cheap cheese sandwiches and packaged food, but it was relatively empty compared to the main cafeteria, and Pearl sought quiet.

She sat on a raised stool and stared out the window into the quad, people-watching. 

The door to the entrance chimed, and Pearl glanced up to see her sister walk in. Ah ha, Yellow. Pearl shot her a tentative smile while Yellow's face soured immediately upon seeing her.

Pearl ignored this. 

"Hello Yellow, how are you liking college?" This was the first time Pearl had seen her sister in a while; Yellow was very good at avoiding her.

Yellow sneered as if offended. "Just because you're older doesn't mean you're better than me, Pearl." She poked her in the forehead.

Pearl batted her hand away, groaning in annoyance. "It was a simple question, Yellow, not an attack."

Yellow scoffed and crossed her arms. "Mom and Dad were upset you didn't come back home last weekend," she said smugly.

"I was studying," Pearl hissed.

"Stuuuuuddddyyying." Yellow made air quotes around the word.

Pearl rolled her eyes. "Anyway.... How's Blue?"

Yellow's face softened at the mention of their eldest sister. "She's fine. Still looking for a job."

Pearl nodded. 

Yellow seemed to have lost her fiery tongue, and she deflated, shoe scuffing the floor. "I should go... buy stuff," she said lamely, gesturing to the cash register and food displays behind her.

"Of course," Pearl said, "Oh and Yellow?"

Her sister paused. "What?"

"I'm around if you ever need someone to talk with or--"

Yellow cut her off, brow furrowed again, "Pssh, like that's gonna happen." She turned her back to Pearl and got in line at the register.

Pearl sighed, as miffed and confused as she always was after speaking with Yellow. She stared back out the window in an attempt to decompress. "I don't know what I did to her," Pearl grumbled under her breath. She sunk down to rest her head in her arms, closing her eyes.

Her phone buzzed from her pocket, causing her to jolt back in her stool, haphazardly tipping it onto two legs instead of four. In the midst of her panic and flailing arms, she managed to save herself by catching the edge of the table. 

Pearl timidly glanced over her shoulder to seen if anyone had noticed the spectacle.

A blue haired girl across the room stared at her with the most unimpressed, dead-eyed gaze Pearl had ever seen. Pearl swallowed and quickly turned back to her window; her reflection in it showed her face to be a shade redder than a tomato.

Her phone buzzed again impatiently.

It was Amethyst. "Hey are you any good at math cause I need a better tutor," it read.

"You almost killed me. And yes," Pearl replied. She unsteadily hopped off of her stool and threw away her trash, avoiding the blue haired woman's dismal gaze as she scurried out of the building. The streetlights were beginning to flicker on.

"How'd I almost kill you?" and "Good can you tutor me?" pinged on Pearl's phone with mere seconds between them.

"My phone going off almost made me tip over my chair. And I might be able to tutor you, depends on what math you're doing," Pearl replied. She saw her dorm building up ahead.

"Ha dork! You're skittish." Ding. "The math's like trig stuff."

Pearl smiled at Amethyst's teasing as she stepped into the building and up the stairs. 

"Trig is fine," she sent. 

She unlocked her door and shrugged off her shoulder bag. Grabbing her calculator and some paper, she sat down in the floor to refresh her trig skills. Pearl knew she really didn't need to do this, but she wanted to make sure she taught Amethyst the correct techniques; this was not at all about distracting herself from the ache in her chest that arose at night.

Not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason it feels like nothing really happened in this chapter, but things did happen? I don't know, man.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Needles, Mentions of blood.

"Oh god. Why do I do this to myself?" Pearl lamented as she shut her phone's alarm off. Upon sitting up she noticed a piece of scratch work paper stuck to her cheek. She plucked it off, trying not to look at the drool that had acted as an adhesive. 

"That's disgusting," she said with a shudder. 

Pearl massaged the crick in her neck as she stood. Then she traced the indent of the spine of a spiral ring notebook set into her upper shoulder. Lovely.

"I really need to stop this."

Getting ready for class was simple, mindless. She found herself outside her door before she could really think about it. And she would have continued on to her class on autopilot if Garnet hadn't joined her in the hallway.

"Hello Pearl," Garnet greeted.

"Good morning, Garnet!" Pearl said, perking up. "Where are you headed?"

Garnet shrugged. "Nowhere really, just need a walk." She studied Pearl for a moment, reaching her hand out as if to touch her face. "Did we keep you up last night?" 

Pearl looked away; she must not have hid her dark circles as well as she thought. "No, no. I was studying. I didn't hear a peep out of you two," she said.

Garnet seemed to realize what she was doing, and quickly pulled her hand back and shoved it into her pockets. She looked straight ahead. "Good, that's good...." Her voice trailed off.

"Can... I walk you to class?" Garnet asked.

Pearl nodded.

Garnet grinned and offered her arm to Pearl. Barely restraining a smile, Pearl looped her arm around Garnet's, and they started walking (slower than they usually would, as if to extend their stroll together). "What do you do in your spare time?" Garnet asked.

"Do you mean what I actually do or what I'd like to do?" Pearl asked, laughing. She shook her head, reverting back to semi-seriousness. "But no, ah, besides studying I like to dance, though I haven't had real lessons in a while."

"What kind of dance?" Garnet asked. 

"Ballet mostly," Pearl said.

Garnet studied her for a moment. "Yeah, I can see it. You look like the type."

"I'm told that a lot. So, what about you? What do you do in your free time?"

"I'm in the boxing club," Garnet said.

Pearl raised her eyebrows. "Boxing, wow. That's impressive," she paused. "But isn't that kind of dangerous? Concussions and all?"

Garnet patted the hand looped around her elbow, hearing the concern in Pearl's voice. "I try to to play it safe. No worries." She flashed Pearl a disarming smile. "And the college doesn't want to get sued, so they're sticklers for safety too."

"Good," Pearl said firmly.

Garnet chuckled and unattached herself from Pearl to open the door. She gestured for Pearl to walk through. Pearl blushed and walked outside with a strained, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Garnet laughed at Pearl's blush and linked their arms together once again.

"You know, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were flirting," Pearl said, watching Garnet's face carefully.

"Hmm, if /I/ didn't know any better, I'd say /you/ were flirting," Garnet shot back.

Pearl furrowed her eyebrows in thought and looked away. "Amethyst is like that too though. Is this-- Is this just how you two are?" She asked, mostly to herself. 

Garnet fell silent for a while. "Listen Pearl, we-- we ah, uhm...." She rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"What?" Pearl asked.

Garnet exhaled very loudly. "Never mind. Not important," she said.

Pearl frowned. "Oh, alright." 

A person dressed as a red drop of blood ran around wrecking havoc in the quad. Well, they handed out fliers, which was close to wrecking havoc, Pearl thought.

"Are they doing a blood drive today?" Pearl wondered.

Garnet nodded. "Yeah. I'm going after classes today. You?"

"Me? Hah, no I don't think so. Needles aren't my thing," Pearl said.

"The needles aren't so bad once you get used to 'em. And besides, it's for a good cause." Garnet paused. "My mum needed a blood transfusion a while back and I guess giving blood feels like... returning the favor, in a way."

Pearl blinked. "I'm sorry," she said, cringing at her previous words.

"What? About my mum? She's fine. Lost an eye, but--" Garnet shrugged. 

Pearl grimaced apologetically, her gaze to the sidewalk.

Garnet leaned in close, chuckling lightly. "Everything's fine, Pearl. You haven't offended me if that's what you're worried about."

"Ha, I'm glad. It was rude of me to--," Pearl said, lifting her head to address Garnet. The motion inadvertently brought their faces very close together and Pearl suddenly realized they had stopped walking. When had that happened? 

She opened her mouth, struggling for words and trying not to succumb to Garnet's honeyed perfume. "Umm.... I should.... I should go to class," she finally uttered.

Garnet jerked back, clearing her throat. "Of course, of course."

Pearl stumbled over her feet in her hurry to disengage herself from the situation. She spared Garnet a parting wave and entered the science building.

\-----

Pearl took out a pen and shakily started to fill out the papers, which asked rather intrusive questions about her health, she thought. But the questions were easy enough and gave her something to do instead of fret over the needles in her imminent future. She blew out a puff of air to soothe her nerves as she handed the clipboard back to the blood drive worker. 

Pearl took a seat and waited to be called into the gym. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to swallow her nerves. Maybe she should just leave. They wouldn't notice, would they? Pearl opened one eye to glance at the lady in charge of the paper work. Pearl then looked towards the exit, judging the distance between. 

Pearl closed her eyes again. She /could/ slip out if she wanted to, and she did want to, but she couldn't stop thinking about how flippantly she had brushed off the blood drive to Garnet (she also couldn't stop thinking about whatever happened outside the science building, but she was actively working on ignoring that). And so, she wanted to give blood to take back what she had so rudely said to Garnet. 

But the logic of that was beginning to fail in Pearl's mind; "If they don't call me soon I'm going to chicken right out of here," she said under her breath.

"Uh, Pearl?"

Pearl opened her eyes to see a harried looking young man, probably a med student, holding a clipboard under one arm and keeping the door open with the other.

"Yes, that's me."

"This way," the man said, "My name is Lars. I'll be the one drawing your blood."

"Right," Pearl said, giving an uneasy smile.

They passed by a few volunteers getting their blood drawn in fancy medical reclining chairs. Pearl noticed the bag of blood next to each of them and tried not to feel as if she had walked into a den of vampires. 

"Pearl! What are you doing here?" A voice called, sounding tired and happy.

Pearl spotted Garnet as they approached the empty chair beside her. "I changed my mind, I guess?" She laughed nervously.

To her relief, the med student put her in the chair next to Garnet. He rolled up her sleeve and tied a rubber strip around her arm tightly. Pearl gulped.

"Hey, if you're afraid of needles you probably shouldn't watch," Garnet said.

"Right," Pearl mumbled, turning her head towards Garnet.

Amethyst came speeding up to them on an rolling office chair, guffawing loudly as she spun. She stopped in front of Pearl, eyes widening. "Pierogi! What a surprise!"

Lars groaned. "Please don't knock anything over. I don't want to have to kick you out."

Amethyst shrugged and rolled beside Pearl with much less speed.

"What are you doing here?" Pearl asked, trying to ignore the fingers tapped on her inner elbow.

"I'm moral support of course," Amethyst said.

Pearl turned her head the slightest bit to see why the Lars was swearing so much at her elbow all of a sudden.

"Pearl," Garnet hissed, "Don't watch."

Amethyst put her hand on Pearl's cheek and gently drew her gaze away. Amethyst clucked as she looked Pearl over. "You're lookin' kinda pale, P. Or paler than usual I guess. You alright?"

"I'm f-- fine," Pearl said. She didn't understand why the blasted med student couldn't just stick her and get it over with.

"I'll tell you what," Amethyst said, "Since Garnet's already done, I'll be /your/ moral support now." She took Pearl's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Okay?"

"Okay." Pearl wasn't sure if the heat she felt was from Amethyst staring at her with such kind concern or if she was starting to feel the first symptoms of passing out. Maybe both.

Lars spoke up on her other side. "I'm going to put it in now, okay?"

"That's what he said," Amethyst whispered gleefully.

Pearl actually laughed at that, something she wouldn't have done if she weren't in such desperate need of distractions.

"Oh um, yes go ahead," she said to Lars.

Amethyst held her hand tightly, still grinning triumphantly at causing Pearl to laugh so loudly in a public place. "Remind me to make more dirty jokes around you," she said.

Pearl squeezed her eyes shut as the needle went in. And then went right back out. Pearl shot a questioning look to the bumbling med student.

"Sorry, sorry. I missed. You have really tiny veins," he said with a grimace.

Pearl turned back to Amethyst, groaning under her breath. "Why did I do this?"

Amethyst smirked as she guessed, "Becauuuussseee you wanted to impress us?"

"Pssh, you wish," Pearl said, the banter helping her nerves.

Garnet crouched down beside Amethyst. She patted Garnet's head, asking, "They let you get up already?"

"They did," Garnet said. She reached up and nudged Amethyst's hand so that she could also hold Pearl's hand. Pearl hadn't even thought two people holding onto one person's hand was a viable option, but it worked somehow; Garnet entwined their fingers and Amethyst clasped her palm and thumb.

"You're a little clammy," Garnet said.

"I have absolutely no idea why," Pearl remarked.

Amethyst nudged Garnet's shoulder, chuckling. "She's sassy when she's scared."

Pearl rolled her eyes. "I'm not sc-- Ah!" She felt the needle pierce her skin abruptly and jolted. Amethyst and Garnet pushed her back down in near unison (Amethyst put a hand to Pearl's shoulder and Garnet put a hand to her knee). 

"Jesus P," Amethyst breathed.

"Pearl, it's over. You're alright," Garnet said.

Pearl cautiously opened her eyes, already feeling lightheaded and woozy.

"Hey uh, sorry about that," Lars said, rubbing his neck. "I thought that might be easier, but uh...."

"Yeah, a little warning would be nice," Amethyst snapped.

Lars winced, eyes narrowing as if holding back a biting retort. He looked at Pearl for back up, but Pearl had her eyes closed again, focusing on not hurling or passing out or spontaneously combusting.

"Uhh here," he said, adjusting her seat back so it was close to parallel with the ground. Lars pulled the lower portion of the seat up so her feet were raised. "You were looking greenish," he explained. Pearl nodded and Lars nodded back awkwardly before slinking out of sight.

Amethyst watched him leave with hackles raised. 

Garnet ruffled her hair; "Easy there, tiger."

"What? He coulda like broke the needle inside her or something with that stunt he pulled," Amethyst said.

"Unghh, please Amethyst," Pearl begged. 

"Sorry P."

Pearl tugged her hand out of the other two's grasp, too hot to hold hands any longer. She rubbed her face and pinched the bridge of her long nose, hoping to distract herself from the nausea and the little grey dots that swarmed her vision. "Maybe I should pass out just to get it over with," she said.

"You wanna go through some breathing exercises or somethin' P?" Amethyst asked. Pearl could hear the laughter in her voice and the underlying seriousness underneath, but she shook her head no anyway.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Garnet asked.

Pearl groaned. "No, no. Talk with each other or something. I don't care. Just please quit asking me questions. I feel god awful," she said, eyes still firmly shut. Pearl resumed her focus on her breathing (Amethyst's suggestion wasn't that bad after all).

"Mmm, alright," Garnet said. "Amethyst, wanna make out?"

"Hell yeah!"

"I am going to kill both of you," Pearl grumbled.

Pearl listened to the two of them laugh at her response for what felt like a very long time. Then she listened to them talk with each other about nothing and everything:

The weather ("Slightly nippy," Garnet said. "Or do you mean 'nipplely'?" Amethyst said); Amethyst's anthropology class ("And they basically fight each other by seeing who can give each other the most pigs. Kinda neat, right?" Amethyst said. "Very," Garnet said); and Garnet's parents ("They said that since I'm away so much they're going to get a dog to replace me," Garnet said. "Ha, I'll go to your parents' house and kiss the dog next time we're in a fight," Amethyst said. "Please don't," Garnet said).

At one point in the conversation one of the two lifted her foot rest up a notch to help her, and Pearl would have voiced her gratefulness if she weren't worried she would lose the state of calm she had fallen into as she listened to Amethyst and Garnet talk. It was like that first night, Pearl noted, when they sounded so nice in her ears despite their drunkenness.

"Looks like you're about finished," Lars said, examining the blood bag.

Pearl opened her eyes, blinking at the gym lights.

"So, I'm going to take this out and then you'll be done, but you have to lie down for fifteen more minutes so you don't faint on the way out," he said. Pearl turned her head away from him as he slipped the needle out and bandaged her arm.

"Hey," she said, smiling tiredly.

"Heya Pearl," Amethyst said.

"You're looking better," Garnet said. 

Lars tapped Pearl's shoulder to get her attention. He handed her a packet of crackers and a juice box, muttering, "You should eat this." Lars gave an awkward salute and walked off with her blood bag.

"He's an odd one," Amethyst said, craning her neck to stare at him across the gym.

"Terrible bedside manner," Garnet added.

Pearl chuckled weakly at their commentary as she sipped from her juice box.

"But hey," Amethyst said, ruffling Pearl's hair, "He didn't mess you up too bad."

"Why does everyone like to do that?" Pearl grumbled with false annoyance as she smooth her hair back down.

Garnet smirked and ran a hand through Pearl's hair to mess it up again and then succumbed into an uncharacteristic fit of giggles, sinking to the floor and resting her head against Amethyst's lap.

"Whew boy, you need to go to bed, buddy," Amethyst laughed. 

Garnet lifted her head, wiping a tear away from underneath her shades and struggling to regain a straight face. "I'm sorry, but did you see her face?!"

Pearl shook her head, trying and failing to pretend she didn't find the two of them endearing. She sighed and closed her eyes again to rest. After a minute or so, the laughter faded and so did their talking; Pearl opened her eyes, wondering why Garnet and Amethyst had gone so quiet. 

"Oh my god," Pearl squawked. Garnet had somehow managed to put herself in Amethyst's lap and the two were very obviously making out. "We are in public!" Pearl exclaimed.

She watched their shoulders shake with laughter at her outrage.

\-----

Amethyst made sure Garnet and Pearl made it safely back to their dorm rooms. 

"Who's being Mother Hen now?" Pearl teased.

"Aw, shut up," Amethyst said, clipping Pearl with her hip and accidentally sending her stumbling. Amethyst steadied her frantically, muttering apologies.

"I'm fine," Pearl assured her.

They stopped in front of their doors. "Hey um, about that math tutoring, do you wanna join our study group? We're meeting tomorrow," Amethyst said.

"Uh, sure. That would be great," Pearl said, unlocking her door.

"Awesome!" Amethyst beamed.

Garnet pulled out her keys for her own door. "Holler if you need anything," she said.

Amethyst nodded. "Literally, the walls are really thin."

"Oh, I know," Pearl said, shooting the two of them a pointed look.

Amethyst blushed and looked away; Garnet however smirked shamelessly.

"See you, Pearl," Garnet said.

"Yeah, bye," Amethyst said, still blushing and bashful.

Pearl chuckled. "See you tomorrow."

She shut her door behind her, a grin set into her features.

What a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I enjoy putting characters through distressing situations? The world may never know.... And don't ask how Lars got into medical school. I'm not sure myself.
> 
> I'm considering changing the title of this fic sometime, so ah, warning.


	6. Chapter 6

The study group was more of a social gathering than anything else, Pearl decided. And the added challenge of keeping quiet in the library made everything ten times funnier than it should have been, which would explain why Amethyst and Peridot choked with laughter over a cat video they found.

Pearl's eyes flickered to Lapis (which, to Pearl's horror, was the blue haired girl that had seen her nearly fall backwards from a stool that one time: "Oh hey, didn't you--?" Lapis started, a devious glint in her eyes. "No, no, we don't need to talk about that," Pearl quickly said).

"What? You don't like cat videos, Pearl?" Lapis asked.

"They're fine. I just don't get the joke," Pearl said.

Lapis shrugged and lazily sprawled her upper half across the table. "Some people don't understand art," she drawled.

Pearl shook her head, bringing her attention back to Amethyst. "Aren't I supposed to be tutoring you, Amethyst? You said you have a test soon."

"Yeah but," Amethyst fell into another spurt of laughter, pressing her forehead into the table. She raised a finger to signal "one moment" before rising up, more composed. She cleared her throat. "Ahem, yeah, but I only have problems with this one part and that's it," Amethyst said, pointing to a section in her math book.

"Alright, we'll go over that then," Pearl said. She explained the section and had Amethyst work some examples. Deeming Amethyst's knowledge adequate (and noticing how Amethyst's attention was beginning to drift), Pearl ended her tutoring lessons for the night.

Pearl sighed and rested her head in her arms. She watched Lapis slyly drop shreds of paper onto Peridot's head as Amethyst kept Peridot distracted. Amethyst was doing a poor job of acting casual, staring at Peridot's hair and snickering all the while.

Humming with amusement, Pearl glanced at Garnet beside her, who was very studiously looking over some notes. Garnet's head didn't turn, but her lips did curl into a smile as Pearl glanced at her, making Pearl wonder how long she had been watching her from behind those shades.

Pearl looked away, settling deeper into her crossed arms.

Peridot finally caught on to Lapis's antics, shaking her head like a dog all over Lapis in retribution. Amethyst laughed and caught Pearl's watchful eyes. 

"What's the matter, Pearl? You bored?" Amethyst asked, leaning down to rest her chin on the table so they were at eye level.

"Just watching," Pearl said, "And this study group barely studies. I think you should rename it."

"We do study. Sometimes. Like the day before finals," Amethyst said with a cackle.

"Procrastination is a very bad habit," Pearl pointed out.

Amethyst pursed her lips. "Lemme guess, you neverrrrrrrr procrastinate."

"I think I did once during my rebellious phase," Pearl said.

"Ohhoho, tell me more about this rebellious phase," Amethyst said, smirking.

"Ehh, they were little things. But they felt big at the time. Like I quit paying attention in church and...." Pearl trailed off, thinking. "Oh, I had a 'friend' over, but she was actually my girlfriend." 

"What was she like?" Garnet entered the conversation, lowering her head into her crossed arms like Pearl.

Pearl sighed, wistful thoughts of Rose filling her head. "Rose was... wonderful. She had-- has the most beautiful eyes. God, I wish I could describe them properly." Pearl laughed quietly, already feeling her chest ache with yearning.

"You're not over her," Garnet stated.

Pearl blushed and stared at the table. "Well, it's not like it's been that long. Months, but... it's hard to forget someone like that," she whispered.

Grimacing, Amethyst placed a hand on Pearl's forearm. "Sorry about that Pearl."

"Not your fault," Pearl murmured. She drew away from Amethyst's hand to sit upright and stretch, rubbing her neck and gazing up at the flimsy tiled ceiling. "But I suppose it could be my parents' fault for making me move here." Pearl paused, head still tilted toward the ceiling; it was easier than meeting Amethyst and Garnet's gazes. "Or my fault for not resisting."

Pearl breathed in deeply. "No matter; things were a little complicated.... Rose was a fan of polyamory--"

Amethyst and Garnet exchanged uneasy glances.

"--and I was... I will admit, very jealous for a while. So maybe, this is better?" Pearl paused again, lost in thought for a moment. She tore her stare away from the ceiling to look at the other two. "I'm sorry. I took over the conver--"

Pearl stopped, catching sight of Lapis and Peridot busily kissing against a bookshelf, remnants of shredded notebook paper still caught in Peridot's hair.

Amethyst followed Pearl's gaze and sat up. "Geez, we look away for two seconds!" 

Lapis raised her middle finger and Peridot made a squeaking noise, but they still didn't part.

"Quick! I need something to throw at them!" Amethyst said, eyes searching the table with giddy excitement. She reached for Garnet's notebook.

"Nope, I need that," Garnet said, quickly pulling the notebook away.

"Oh come on," Amethyst said.

"Why don't we just... leave them alone?" Pearl suggested.

"Pssh, down with the voice of reason!" Amethyst lunged forward and grabbed Pearl in a loose headlock. 

"Amethyst! What has gotten into you?" And it wasn't that Pearl didn't enjoy being pressed into Amethyst's boobs (because she did), but Pearl was halfway off her seating and slipping, and that made it a bit uncomfortable.

"We should go. The library will close soon," Garnet said, standing up and gathering her things.

Amethyst released Pearl from her headlock and Pearl fell down into the floor with a yelp. Amethyst laughed at Pearl's indignant expression before offering a hand up. "Come on, P. I bet you that floor's dirty," she said.

Pearl winced at the mention of dirt. She begrudgingly took Amethyst's hand and allowed herself to be pulled up. There was a moment after standing up in which Pearl's face was very close to Amethyst's; it was only a second Pearl knew, but Amethyst's playful grin seemed to last for an eternity. 

Winking, Amethyst let her hand go; Pearl stumbled back a foot. Amethyst laughed and bent down to pick up her backpack.

Pearl ran a hand through her hair, mind whirring and distracted. She hastily slung her messenger bag over her shoulder and then studied Garnet and Amethyst for a second. She knew there was something she wasn't understanding about all this, but she couldn't decipher it.

"Hey! Be sure you're out before they turn the lights off, nerds!" Amethyst hollered to Lapis and Peridot as she passed their bookshelf.

Streetlights illuminated patches of the empty campus by the time the three left the library. Amethyst skipped ahead and spun around so that she was walking backwards, facing Garnet and Pearl. "We should do something," she declared.

"What'd you have in mind?" Garnet asked.

"I don't know. Pearl! You decide!" Amethyst said.

"Hm. I really don't know, Amethyst." Pearl smiled ruefully.

"Let's dooooo...." Amethyst snapped her fingers. "Hey, your parents!--"

"We do /not/ need to do my parents, thankyouverymuch," Pearl quipped.

Garnet burst into loud laughter.  
Amethyst stuttered, waving her arms and groaning. "No, you didn't let me finish!" 

"Alright then, finish," Pearl said, smirking.

"What I was gonna say is that since your parents seem kinda strict, we should do something they didn't let you do," Amethyst explained. "Can you think of anything?"

"Eh.... There were lots of things they didn't let me do, but I can't think of anything I'd want to do now," Pearl said, shrugging, "And I already went to a house party, so that's out."

Amethyst hopped up and down in time with her words. "There. Has to. Be. Something!"

"I think I'm just gonna go to bed," Pearl said.

"Aww," Amethyst mumbled.

"And I won't study until ungodly late hours either," Pearl added. Despite Rose coming up in conversation earlier, Pearl didn't feel the heartache as sharply as usual. She had a feeling sleep would come easily tonight.

Garnet clapped Pearl on the back. "I'm glad," she said.

Pearl grinned at the praise.

Amethyst huffed and grasped Garnet's hand. "Fine."

"There'll be other times, Amethyst," Garnet assured her, swinging their hands playfully. "But you're probably going to need to run in circles to calm down some before bed."

Amethyst donned a shit-eating grin. "I can think of other ways to calm down."

Garnet raised an eyebrow.

It took Pearl a second to process. She jumped and covered her face with her hands, groaning. "You know what," she said, pointing at the couple, "I am going to walk ten feet in front of you--"

"We'll just talk louder!" Amethyst teased.

Pearl shook her head, amused (though she would never admit it) with the laughter behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer (and probably more interesting) chapter will be out on Sunday.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Nightmares (Hell), Negative Thinking.

Weeks passed, and Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet settled into a steady rhythm. In the morning, Pearl met the other two outside their dorm to walk to class together (though sometimes Amethyst preferred to sleep in late and stay behind), and then they ate lunch together when their free periods aligned every other day. The "study group" met sporadically, and Pearl was proud to say that it looked more like a study group now than it did before she joined.

Pearl's nights of studying until three in the morning were past her; Rose still wandered her thoughts, but it was becoming easier to deal with, especially now that she was fully rested.

She dimly realized one day that she was genuinely happy, something she thought would be difficult to reach after moving away from her home, from Rose. Pearl had scooped Amethyst and Garnet into a clumsy but enthusiastic hug when she realized it. 

"What's this for?" Garnet had asked.

"I'm just happy," was Pearl's simple reply.

But there will always be bumps in the road....

\-----

Pearl turned restlessly in her sleep, sweat beading her furrowed brow. 

She dreamt she was at an amusement park, trying to catch up with Rose. She struggled through another crowd of tourists, standing on tiptoe to catch a glimpse of her. 

"Rose! Rose wait!" Pearl called. Elbowing her way out of the crowd, she ran to the mass of pink curls and reached a hand out to get Rose's attention. Rose turned around and then became Greg. 

Pearl recoiled.

Greg-dressed-as-Rose grinned and asked, "How do you like my new song?" His jaw unhinged, unleashing robotic screeching and yodeling. Pearl suddenly remembered that she hated how robots had learned to yodel, and she clamped her hands over her ears and stumbled backwards into the crowd.

She halted when her back bumped into something warm and soft and... familiar. Pearl spun around, gazing up at Rose, the actual Rose this time, and breathed a sigh of relief. 

"I missed you," Pearl said, burying her face into Rose's shoulder. 

Rose stayed silent.

Pearl pulled back, confused as to why Rose didn't return her embrace. "Rose?"

Rose /was/ talking, but Pearl didn't hear anything, and to add to it, Rose wasn't even talking to her. Pearl numbly followed Rose's gaze. 

There was nothing there. Rose spoke with someone Pearl couldn't see.

Pearl turned back to Rose, determined to catch her attention. But Pearl's hand drifted right through Rose's arm when she tried to grasp it. Pearl felt her stomach drop; she couldn't even touch Rose anymore. 

Frantic, Pearl leaped in front of Rose, waving her arms and shouting, "Rose! Rose, I'm right here! Just look! Please." Pearl let her arms drop when it became clear that Rose couldn't see or hear her pleas. "....Rose?" 

Pearl brokenly stared into eyes that gazed past her. 

This must be what hell felt like, Pearl thought.

The dreamscape morphed and Pearl found herself in a dark cavern. Eerie green flames drifted up from the cracks in the stone ground and licked at her ankles. Pearl backed away from the fire, feeling both unbearably hot and chilled at the same time. The dread engulfing her made it hard to breathe-- or was that the flames? 

Pearl fell to her knees, reverting back to her middle school self, desperately begging for forgiveness. She fervently recited old prayers still burned into her mind after all this time, but the glowing green fires didn't fade. Instead they wrapped around her like thorny hands digging into her skin. 

Pearl raised her head, knowing it was useless; Rose was more of a savior to her than any deity. 

At that admission of blasphemy the flames encased her throat, cutting off the entirety of her air flow. Pearl sunk into the fire, stars overtaking her vision. Stars. She had always heavily associated Rose with stars-- the ones in the sky, not the ones swimming in her eyesight-- and perhaps the most hellish thing about all this wasn't the flames but the fact that she would never see Rose again. 

Not in a place like this.

Pearl woke gasping and mumbling Rose's name, her sheets tangled and twisted around her limbs. Disoriented, she scrabbled for her phone and switched the insistent alarm off, noting that it had been ringing for quite some time while she slept. She flopped back onto her pillows and stared at the ceiling, trying to steady her breathing. Pearl hesitantly touched her neck, relieved to find no burn marks or flames.

Of course there weren't flames around her neck. Rationality came flooding back to her, washing away the residual fear of hellfire that had haunted her childhood. 

"None of it's real," she breathed. Despite the weight lifted from over her head, she still itched for company; it wasn't wise to be alone after something like that. Pearl stared down her phone, contemplating texting Rose. Rose had always helped with these nightmares before, but they hadn't talked in a week and would it be weird to suddenly text her now?

Pearl frowned.

And it's been so long since she last dreamt of hellfire; Rose would be terribly concerned.

"Why did this even happen?" She ran a hand over her face and groaned, thinking back to yesterday. Her mother had called wondering why Pearl had been staying at the college over the weekends instead of going "home" (Pearl couldn't call the house her parents now lived in home exactly; to her, home was still half a dozen states south of here).

"I've been very busy with schoolwork," Pearl had said.

Her mother clucked and tut-tutted disapprovingly. "Not too busy for church I would hope."

Pearl grimaced.

Her mother sighed and said, "Listen, I know it's not the same as our old church, but if you just give it a chance...."

Pearl stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. She had no desire to go back to any church and she suspected her mother knew as much. Pearl managed to quickly end the call with goodbyes and a promise to visit soon and that was that.

And somehow the very mention of church had brought these nightmares back. How ridiculous.

And how pathetic.

She placed her phone on the nightstand and turned away from it, curling up on her side. Why would Rose want to deal with her crap again anyway?

No. 

Pearl tugged at her hair. "Please don't go back to thinking like that," she begged herself.

Her phone buzzed, saving her from spiraling further. Pearl wiped her eyes and grabbed it, squinting at the light in the dark of her bedroom.

It was Amethyst and Garnet in the group chat.

"You skipping class?" Amethyst had texted ten minutes ago.

Garnet's was the most recent text. "Pearl?" 

Pearl tapped a response. "I'm going to be late. Go without me today."

"Aight," Amethyst replied.

"Will we see you at lunch?" Garnet asked.

Pearl paused, biting her lip. "Yeah."

She set the phone down and rubbed her face wearily before dragging herself into the shower and through the rest of her morning routine.

Pearl had missed more than half of her first lecture and rather than walk into the stares of her peers, she doubled back to the library and sat down at an empty table. She didn't have another class until after lunch, and so she was completely fine with napping for a few hours.

She woke up feeling worse than before, if possible. Her head thrummed and everything ached, which was to be expected from sleeping against a wooden table she supposed.

"Pearl!" Amethyst waved her over to the couch and coffee table they sometimes ate at. "You look rough, buddy," Amethyst said as Pearl sat down.

Chuckling tiredly, Pearl slumped against her, resting her forehead against the top of Amethyst's head. She felt Amethyst stiffen before wrapping her arms around Pearl to pull her closer. To Pearl's surprise, Amethyst didn't say anything, seemingly content to trace curling circles into Pearl's shirt.

Pearl felt the cushion sink beside her, signaling that Garnet had joined them.

"What happened?" Garnet asked.

Pearl raised her head. "I needed a hug," she confessed.

"Oh," Garnet said, a smile rising to her lips, "I can help with that." She leaned over to circle the two of them, her head resting in the back of Pearl's shoulder.

Pearl closed her eyes; everything still ached, but the warmth surrounding her was pleasant, not to mention the attention. She sighed.

"So why are you down today?" Amethyst asked, sounding a little hoarse, "Somebody messin' with ya?"

"We can beat them up," Garnet and Amethyst offered in unison.

Pearl laughed at that.

"Great minds think alike," Amethyst said, reaching a hand up to tangle in Garnet's hair.

"Indeed," Garnet said, laughter in her voice.

"But no really, what's up, P?"

"I... had a nightmare, and I haven't been feeling too great today," Pearl said, flushing. She was glad she could mumble this into Amethyst's hair instead of face to face.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Garnet asked. Her nose tickled the back of Pearl's neck.

Pearl considered it for a moment, but found the words hard to say; it felt like such an intimate fear, to be afraid of Hell. And besides that, the fear was only present in dreams in which she forgot what she knew now.

"No, not really," Pearl said.

"Alright," Garnet said.

They sat in content silence for a minute before Amethyst's stomach grumbled. Amethyst pulled away with a peck to Pearl's cheek, saying, "Sorry Pearl, but I gotta eat."

Garnet tightened her hold around Pearl for a moment and then pulled away as well.

Dazed, Pearl touched the spot on her check that Amethyst had kissed. "That's... That's fine," she said.

\-----

Pearl's mood was significantly better after lunch with Amethyst and Garnet, but she was beginning to wind down during their study group meeting that evening and Garnet seemed to sense that, allowing Pearl to lean on her shoulder for a while.

Peridot looked around the table, blinking owlishly in her glasses. "I just realized something," she said, "This entire table is lesbians!"

"I'm bi, dude," Amethyst said.

"Okay. Then the entire table is.... women that are dating women?" Peridot frowned. "That doesn't have the same ring to it."

Amethyst scoffed and cuffed Peridot on the head lightly.

"Well, Pearl's not dating anyone right now. Poor fifth wheel," Lapis cooed.

Pearl cringed.

"What? No," Amethyst gasped, rising to Pearl's defense. She dragged Pearl away from Garnet and to her own chest protectively. "She's like, the reason you're passing chemistry, Lapis!"

Pearl groaned, Amethyst's voice too loud and too close to her ears.

"Shh, Amethyst," Pearl whispered.

Amethyst looked down at Pearl, a half grin on her face. "But I'm defending your honor, P."

"Well, do it quietly."

She was secretly glad Amethyst was speaking up for her, as the "fifth wheel" comment would no doubt come back to bother her when she was alone and vulnerable.

The walk back to the dorms was quiet, with Garnet seemingly lost in thought and Amethyst humming under her breath.

"About that fifth wheel thing," Garnet started.

Pearl was honestly surprised she was still caught on that. "Yes?"

"You're not a fifth wheel," Garnet said.

Pearl nodded, waiting patiently for the rest of whatever Garnet was struggling with to come out.

"And you're... important to us you know," Garnet continued, her voice soft.

"Yeah, we care about you and junk," Amethyst added, her hair coming to hide her eyes and the blush on her face.

Pearl smiled warmly. "Thank you. I needed to hear that."

In the pause after that, the autumn wind rustled the trees and the chill cut through Pearl as if she were paper. The chill and the aches and the overall bleh-ness came over her at once and she stopped walking at the realization. "Oh! That's what's wrong with me today. I'm getting sick!"

"That's a weird thing to be excited about, P," Amethyst murmured.

"I'm just glad I know what's happening," Pearl explained. "I was beginning to think it was the nightmare's fault."

"Maybe it was an early fever dream," Garnet said.

"Yeah, maybe." Pearl grimaced. "I hope I don't have any more."

"At least tomorrow's Saturday. You won't be missing class," Garnet said.

"Yeah, but she'll be missing valuable weekend time," Amethyst argued.

Pearl rubbed her forehead. "And I meant to go to parents' this weekend too," she groaned.

\-----

She was definitely not going to her parents' place any time soon. The fever had hit her like a freight train, and she barely had the energy to collapse on the couch with her blankets. Upon cocooning herself within the said blankets, she questioned why she had even left her bed in the first place. Pearl shook her head (and then winced at the throbbing that followed), deciding not to linger on the decisions of a fever-addled mind. 

Her phone vibrated with a text from Amethyst. "How ya doing sicko?"

Pearl smiled despite the fact that the light of her phone hurt her eyes. "Fine, I guess. Everything's too bright and loud though."

They kept up a light conversation until Pearl fell asleep while writing a reply. She woke up hours later, judging by the stiffness in her limbs, to find Garnet and Amethyst lounging with a pile of magazines in her floor. 

Pearl blinked, staring at them in confusion. She couldn't remember how they came to be in her dorm, and concluded she was hallucinating. It was the only thing that made sense, even if her hallucinations didn't. Weren't they supposed to be strange? Shouldn't Garnet and Amethyst be covered in polka dots and doing the cancan? And why were they in her dorm anyway?

"How did you dance into my house?" Pearl asked.

Close enough.

Amethyst laughed loudly. "What, dude?"

Garnet shushed her.

"Oh right, sorry Pearl," Amethyst said, quietly this time.

Pearl tried again. "My dorm. How did you--? Why?"

"Oh! How'd we get in? I picked your lock, hope you don't mind, but you stopped replying in the middle of our very fascinating talk about Garnet's thighs and I was worried," Amethyst said.

"Garnet's... thighs," Pearl said slowly. "I don't remember this."

"Check your phone," Garnet suggested.

Pearl excavated her phone out of the blankets and found her and Amethyst's conversation in the group chat. Her eyes widened as she discovered that not only had they discussed Garnet's thighs, but that it was her who had brought it up in the first place.

She put her phone down and pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes, whining slightly. "I don't understand what's happening," Pearl bemoaned.

"It's not that big a deal," Amethyst said with a shrug.

Garnet nodded. "I was very flattered."

Pearl squirmed out of her cocoon of blankets and stood up unsteadily. She waved away Garnet and Amethyst's unspoken offer of help and turned to walk to her bathroom.

"We can leave if you want," Garnet called after her.

"No, stay," Pearl said.

Pearl locked the door behind her and flicked on the lights, wincing a little at the intensity. After using the toilet and washing her hands, she leaned forward against the sink, studying her reflection, her flushed cheeks and her messy hair. Pearl wet her hand under the faucet and slapped it to the back of her neck.

Her thoughts strayed to Amethyst and Garnet.... Or were they fever-driven hallucinations? Pearl still wasn't sure. Amethyst's explanation didn't exactly make sense. Talking about Garnet's thighs? Did Pearl really do that? And honestly, why were they cutting up magazines in the floor?

She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Let's just figure out what's going on and work from there," she whispered.

Pearl left the bathroom and returned to her couch, snuggling into the blankets once more. She peeked her nose out of her blankets and stared at Amethyst and Garnet suspiciously.

"What's on your mind, Pearl?" Garnet asked.

"I'm not sure you're real," Pearl said, still watching through narrowed eyes.

Amethyst exchanged a look with Garnet and laughed. "Take it easy, Pearl. We're real."

Garnet scooted over to Pearl and rested a hand on her forehead. "You're very warm," she murmured. "Should we call someone?"

Pearl shook her head no. "This isn't the first time I've hallucinated while sick," she said.

Garnet chuckled and carefully ran her fingers through Pearl's unkempt hair. "We're not hallucinations though," she said.

"Prove it," Pearl huffed.

"I don't...." Garnet seemed to be at a loss for words. 

"You two aren't the worst I could imagine up," Pearl mused. Now that she considered it, she could have a lot of fun with this. Making out with the two of them would be nice.

"You need to sleep or something," Amethyst said, snipping up a cooking magazine as she did so. She took the cut piece and held it up to the light, scrutinizing it. Pearl watched, even more baffled than she was before.

Garnet sighed and tugged Pearl's hand out from under the blankets.

"What are you--" 

"Shh," Garnet cut her off, squeezing Pearl's hand tightly. "Feel that? Feels real doesn't it?"

"...Yes," Pearl said.

Garnet let her hand go lax before tightening around Pearl's again. 

Garnet's hand around hers certainly /did/ feel real; Garnet squeezed so tightly that Pearl could feel the blood rushing under her skin. If they were hallucinations, they were the tamest and most realistic hallucinations she had ever had. "You're real," Pearl breathed. "....Things still don't make sense though." Then she blushed even redder than she already was. "Did I really talk about your thighs?"

"Yeah you did!" Amethyst guffawed.

Garnet nodded. "In explicit detail."

Pearl shut her eyes, feeling embarrassment wash over her. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be." Garnet's voice took on an almost sultry tone. "I enjoyed it."

Pearl opened her eyes to Garnet's teasing smirk. "You're... something else," Pearl said.

Garnet grinned and released Pearl's hand. She returned to her nonsensical work of cutting up magazines with Amethyst. Pearl was about to ask about it when another thought entered her mind:

She had wanted to kiss the two of them.

When they were hallucinations, of course. But if she had wanted to kiss hallucination Amethyst and Garnet didn't that mean--

Didn't that mean she also wanted to kiss the real Amethyst and Garnet?

"Oh my god." Pearl moaned, running a hand down her face. "Why did this take me so long?"

It's possible she liked the two of them ever since that first meeting, or maybe it was the party. Pearl didn't know, but boy, did she need to pay more attention to her feelings.

Amethyst suddenly hovered above her, looking wary and concerned. "You seriously need to sleep, P. You're not making any sense," she said.

Pearl chuckled, feeling almost giddy, and poked Amethyst in the nose shakily. Amethyst's eyes crossed to watch her finger.

"I am so slow," Pearl said. She froze, eyes wide, because holy fuck, she liked Amethyst and Garnet. Two people. Who were dating each other. Oh dear, how was this going to work?

Amethyst pushed Pearl's hand away from her nose. "You're not," she said, "But you're kinda scaring me, so please relax, alright? Garnet's getting you painkillers from our dorm."

Pearl blinked away the panic from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Amethyst."

"It's okay," Amethyst said, offering a timid smile.

They heard Pearl's door open and close, and Garnet knelt down beside Pearl, handing her a water bottle and some ibuprofen.

"Wait, when's the last time you took these?" Garnet asked.

"Uhh.... Early this morning," Pearl answered.

"You're fine then," Garnet said.

Pearl nodded and swallowed the medicine down with the water. She cleared her throat, passing the bottle back to Garnet. "Thank you."

"Anytime," Garnet said. She draped the damp washcloth she had snagged from her dorm over Pearl's forehead and sat back on her haunches.

After a moment, Garnet and Amethyst went back to their mess of magazine clippings, glancing at Pearl every once in a while. Pearl glanced at them as well, her head swimming with the heady realization of just how /hard/ she had fallen for the two.

And fuck, did they feel the same?

Pearl pushed the thought from her mind, her eyelids growing heavy. She looked at Amethyst and Garnet again to confirm that they were still there. It was nice having company while sick; her parents had always confined her to her room until she was better, and while Pearl did see the sense in it, she also hated feeling so horrible and being so alone. The hours had bled into each other with the slowness of the thick cough syrup she had to drink, and she shuddered at the memory.

"You okay there, P?"

Having been brought back to reality, Pearl tilted her head to take in Garnet and Amethyst and the magazines littered around them. "Yeah," she said.

"Good," Amethyst said.

"Though I do hope you plan on cleaning all that up when you're finished," Pearl said, eyeing the clippings on her carpet.

Amethyst laughed. "That's more like yourself."

"We will," Garnet assured her.

Pearl hummed, letting her eyes slip closed.

Garnet and Amethyst were in and out of her dorm all day; Pearl could sense them on the edges of her consciousness, or maybe she simply heard them as she drifted between half-awake and fully asleep. Whichever it was it was comforting all the same.

Pearl woke up fully that evening, with the smell of pizza under her nose. Literally under her nose, she realized; Amethyst held a piece there as if it were smelling salts.

"Hah! It worked Garnet!" Amethyst said. "Here," she said, giving Pearl the pizza, "You should eat something."

"Thanks," Pearl said. She stretched (or at least tried the best she could while holding a slice of pizza in one hand), taking stock of the lack of headache and her somewhat normal temperature. The aches still lingered but they were much lesser than before.

"Feeling any better?" Garnet asked.

Pearl swallowed a bite of pizza and wiped her mouth. "Much better, actually," she said.

"Yeah, your eyes are bright again," Amethyst observed.

Pearl blushed at the comment before clearing her throat and motioning to the wires and magazine cuttings glued to a frame. "What is that?"

"My project. Pretty cool looking, right?" Amethyst said.

Pearl cocked her head. "What's it supposed to be?"

"You know, I'm really not sure, but it's done and that's all that matters," Amethyst declared.

Pearl nodded at that and continued to eat her pizza. A slow grin spread across her face as she recalled her earlier realization. She really, really liked them. Pearl's eyes darted to the two and away again. Did they like her back? They were certainly very flirty but maybe that's just their personalities.

Maybe she should flirt back twice as hard to see if they react. 

Garnet chuckled. "What are you grinning at, Pearl?"

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. Don't expect the next chapter to be this long, hah.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel as if I overhyped Pearl's flirting plans. It didn't turn out nearly as flirty as I would have liked, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

This flirting business was difficult. Pearl tried to balance in the median between "Too obvious" and "Too subtle" and in the effort to get it just right, she ended up not doing any flirting at all. 

Sighing, Pearl gave up on her book, finding her thoughts wandering distractingly. She rubbed her neck and looked around Garnet and Amethyst's dim and slightly cluttered dorm room. The cold rain outside patted against the window. She turned her head to glance at Garnet, asleep with her head tilted back, the rain having lulled her to sleep.

Pearl chuckled at the sight. 

Garnet mumbled something incoherent, the edge of her parted mouth twitching. Pearl stroked Garnet's upper arm, smiling when Garnet's breathing steadied.

The door slammed open, causing Pearl to jolt and Garnet to stir. Amethyst stepped into the room, wringing her hair out. "Ugh, it's very wet out there."

Pearl went to Amethyst's side, nose wrinkling at all the grass embedded in Amethyst's tangled hair. She picked a blade of grass out and rubbed it between two fingers. "Did you run behind a lawnmower in the rain?" Pearl asked.

"Don't mock me, Pearl," Amethyst said, flicking the water from her hands.

Pearl laughed at her sour tone. "Take your shoes off; you'll have to pay for a stained carpet at the end of the year. Where do you keep your towels?"

"Bathroom," Garnet said.

"Mother Hen," Amethyst singsonged.

Pearl clucked and went to the bathroom to retrieve a towel. She returned and tossed the towel over Amethyst's head, trying to rub away Amethyst's "drowned cat" look.

"Mmph! Pearl!" Amethyst protested, flailing her arms.

Pearl stopped rubbing and lifted a corner of the towel so that she could see Amethyst's face. "Yes, Amethyst?"

"I can dry my own hair, thanks," Amethyst said, half exasperated.

Pearl smirked and let the towel fall back over Amethyst. "Suit yourself," she said.

Amethyst pulled the towel to rest around her shoulders, scoffing slightly at Pearl's attitude.

"You should get changed," Garnet said, rising from the couch.

Amethyst trudged towards the bedroom. "Yeah yeah. I'm a gettin'."

Pearl shook her head. "She talks more like a Southerner than I do."

"I actually haven't heard your accent at all," Garnet said.

"Good. No one needs to hear it," Pearl said, "Now /your/ accent however, is nothing short of gorgeous." Pearl blushed; she hadn't meant to say that much.

Garnet chuckled, leaning coolly against the wall. "Thank you."

"So what /is/ your accent? I mean, where are you from?" Pearl asked.

"My mum is from the UK, and I lived there until I was sixteen and we moved here. I think my mom had missed the US, so she wasn't too upset about it," Garnet said.

Pearl furrowed her brow. "Wait, your mother is from the UK, but she missed America?"

"No. My mum is from the UK. My /mom/ is from America. Two mothers." Garnet flashed her a grin.

"Oh. Wow. That's-- Wow," Pearl stuttered, surprised.

"Yep. You should meet them sometime. They'd like you," Garnet said.

Pearl laughed. "Meeting the parents already?" 

In the same teasing tone, Garnet replied, "You're right. I should take you on a few mor--."

"I CAN'T GET ALL THIS STUPID GRASS OUT OF MY HAIR!" Amethyst shouted, stomping into the room.

Pearl stilled, blinking at Amethyst's hair, which now had a hairbrush embedded in it as well as the grass.

Garnet knelt down and pulled Amethyst into a firm hug, shushing her quietly. "We'll get it out. Now, what's actually the matter?" 

Amethyst buried her face deeper into the crook of Garnet's neck, mumbling, "....I had a bad day."

Garnet hummed, one hand trying to detach the hairbrush from Amethyst's mane and failing.

Feeling out of place, Pearl considered slinking away, until Garnet asked, "Pearl, can you get this?" She gestured to the hairbrush knotted in Amethyst's hair. 

"Of course," Pearl said, kneeling beside the two. She knew Garnet's request probably wasn't intended to be an offer to stay, but Pearl accepted it gratefully nevertheless. She worked the hairbrush out with nimble fingers and minimal hair pulling.

"Peridot wasn't in class, and Jasper beat me in arm wrestling and wouldn't shut up about it, and then I slipped and fell on my ass on the way back here and they must've just mowed because there was so much grass," Amethyst said in one trembly whoosh. 

Pearl continued to work on Amethyst's damp mane, removing bits of grass and coaxing jumbled strands of hair apart.

"And I thought it'd be a /great/ idea to call my parents this morning after you two went walking," Amethyst said, bitter sarcasm barely hiding the hitch in her voice. "They let me get five words in before it was 'Sorry, can't talk. Busy working,' and I just-- I don't know what I was expecting," she said, voice small and hurt.

"And there it is," Garnet murmured. 

The rawness in Amethyst's tone caused Pearl to wince in sympathy, fingers pausing in the middle of unwinding the last few tangles.

Garnet pressed her lips to Amethyst's temple and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. "I love you," she offered.

"I know," Amethyst whispered.

Pearl looked away, feeling like an intruder once again. She stood gracefully and with the intention to slip away to the other side of the room and pretend she couldn't hear them.

But Amethyst's head raised, noticing Pearl pull away from her hair and the creak of the floor as she stood. "Can you stay? Please?" Amethyst begged, desperation edging her words.

"Y-- You want me to stay?" Pearl asked, disbelieving.

"Please?"

"Oh, ah," Pearl said, looking to Garnet for permission. 

Garnet nodded.

"....Yes, I'll stay, Amethyst," Pearl said, sinking down next to the two in the floor. Pearl picked up the hairbrush to resume her work on Amethyst's hair.

"Thanks," Amethyst croaked.

"Don't mention it," Pearl said kindly.

Amethyst let her head rest on Garnet's shoulder once more. Pearl continued carefully brushing through Amethyst's hair, which was almost dry by now and very close to being tangle-free.

"You're very good with your hands," Amethyst said, with the hint of underlying meaning beneath.

Pearl shook her head, rolling her eyes amicably. Leave it to Amethyst to find enough willpower to surface above her troubles just to make a suggestive comment.

Pearl paused then, a gutsy idea forming in her mind. What was that she said to herself the other day? Flirt back twice as hard? Her eyes flickered to Garnet. Was it wise to flirt so obviously with someone already taken? What if Pearl had somehow been misreading this entirely?

She took a deep breath, deciding to go through with it. Pearl leaned in close to Amethyst's ear, nearly grazing it with her lips, and let her voice take on a self-assured tone. "I've been told that before." The words weren't especially powerful, but most of Pearl's flirting was conveyed in the delivery.

A shiver dashed along Amethyst's spine, and she blushed, head whipping around to stare at Pearl. "Jesus P, warn me next time," she said.

Pearl laughed, pleased with Amethyst's reaction. And to Pearl's relief, Garnet held a half smile on her lips; Pearl took that to mean Garnet wasn't upset at Pearl's blatant flirting with Amethyst.

Amethyst punched Pearl in the shoulder gently. "But thanks. I needed that distraction."

"Speaking of distractions, why don't we put on a movie?" Garnet asked.

Amethyst wriggled out of Garnet's arms excitedly. "I'm gonna choose."

"Go ahead," Garnet said.

Amethyst ended up picking "The Breakfast Club," saying, "I need some angsty shit," and multiple fuck you's that Pearl assumed were directed towards Amethyst's parents.

"They're always fucking working. And that's great and all, yay we have food on the table, but damn, couldn't they take a break every once in a while? I practically grew up in an empty house," Amethyst said, teeth gritting with anger.

"I'm sorry," Pearl said. She put her hand on Amethyst's shoulder.

"It's fine. I just... I just need to vent," Amethyst said, reaching over to take the hand on her shoulder. She brought Pearl's hand into her lap and played with it, her mind obviously elsewhere.

Garnet draped an arm over Amethyst's shoulders and slouched down comfortably into the couch. "Vent, then," she urged.

Amethyst sighed, still grazing her fingers all over Pearl's hand, pressing into her palm. Pearl took a deep breath and actively tried to ignore her sudden ticklishness.

"I don't really think they ever intended to have a kid. I kinda suspect the reason they work so much is because they don't want to be reminded of me. That, and their failing marriage," Amethyst said, chuckling bitterly. "They just don't care what I do. It was great sometimes, being able to do whatever, but they really don't care, and that kinda hurts," she trailed off, her voice cracking.

Amethyst released Pearl's hand to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry. Geez, that must be the millionth time you've heard that, Garnet."

Garnet moved to encircle Amethyst again. "I don't mind," Garnet said.

Amethyst peered out above Garnet's arms to give Pearl an apologetic grimace. "Sorry to dump all that on you. I shouldn't have done that," she said.

Pearl shook her head. "It's okay, Amethyst."

Sniffling quietly, Amethyst crawled into Garnet's lap so that her back was pressed to her girlfriend's front. Garnet wrapped her arms around Amethyst's shoulders and leaned back, tucking Amethyst under her chin.

Pearl looked back at the movie, but her thoughts went back to Amethyst's rant. Her parents were almost opposite Pearl's. Not that Pearl's parents didn't work-- They did, or at least, her father did-- but Pearl's parents paid so much overprotective attention that it was stifling, while Amethyst's didn't pay her any attention at all. 

Pearl suddenly felt guilty for thinking so badly of her own parents. They could have been so much worse. Rose's voice echoed in her mind, fighting back: "Just because someone has it worse doesn't make your situation any less." 

Pearl sighed, trying to push out that twisting dissonance of whether of not her parents were justified in their actions, whether or not Pearl was overreacting. She knew she would have a headache later if she kept thinking about it.

"Pearl," Garnet said.

Pearl looked up, grateful to be taken out of her thoughts for a moment. "Yes?"

"Join us?" Garnet offered, one arm outstretched to welcome Pearl in.

Pearl stared for a moment. Garnet and Amethyst have to feel /something/ for her, Pearl thought. What couple frequently cuddles with a mutual friend if they're not interested in something more? Granted, Pearl had never actually seen a polyamorous situation like this unfold: a triangle instead of the V shape she had imaged when Rose dated both her and Greg. 

....Or are Amethyst and Garnet just extremely cuddly people?

"This is weird," Pearl said. She grimaced; that wasn't exactly how she wanted to word it.

"What is?" Amethyst asked.

"This," Pearl said, motioning to the three of them.

Garnet's outstretched hand slowly drew back, as if rejected. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to," she said.

Amethyst refused to meet Pearl's gaze.

"No, I want to. But I--" Pearl cut herself off before she could dig any deeper into the hole she had gotten herself into. She rubbed her temple; the beginnings of that headache starting to show. "I... should go study, or take a nap," she mumbled, rising off the couch.

"Alright," Amethyst said, sounding unusually subdued.

Pearl grabbed her book and walked to the door, but paused with her hand on the doorknob. She glanced back to see Amethyst staring guiltily at the floor and Garnet sitting emotionlessly. Pearl didn't want to leave them in this gloomy atmosphere she had inadvertently created.

"Listen, I.... What I said didn't come out right and I hope I haven't... hurt you with what I said. I just don't understand. I...." Pearl rubbed the bridge of her nose, brainstorming some way to explain the question "Is this just how you two act or are you both flirting with me?" without calling out any possible feelings between the three of them.

A reckless thought crossed her mind: Why doesn't she just ask them out herself? Yes. That could work. Though she risked losing their friendship if they really are naturally flirty and not actually hitting on her. 

It was a risk she was willing to take.

Pearl straightened, hands clenching at her sides. She opened her mouth but froze, the words refusing to come. She deflated a little at her cowardice.

Tomorrow then.

Pearl laughed at Amethyst's puzzled expression and strode back to the couch, hugging the two of them tightly, trying to convey her fondness through her hold. Pearl winced as her head twinged and she pulled back. "I really must go now. Headache," she explained.

"Oh," Amethyst said, relieved, "Geez, why didn't you say that sooner? I thought you were upset with us."

"More like confused," Pearl muttered. She leaned down and pecked a kiss to Amethyst's forehead before reaching up to press another to Garnet's cheek. Pearl stood and made her way to the door, a little awed by her own courage.

"See you tomorrow, Pearl," Garnet said, her voice a little too high at first.

Amethyst nodded in agreement, too flushed for words.

There was /no way/ they didn't like her back, Pearl thought happily. 

"Have a good night," Pearl chirped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be posting next week. Just gimme two weeks and we'll be back on schedule. Until then!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Choking, Blood.
> 
> (Damn, sorry, it sounds a lot worse than it actually is.)

Pearl took a deep breath as she smoothed down her hair in the mirror. "Today is the day," she told herself. After many hours of overzealous rehearsing last night, Pearl finally felt she was ready, even if her nerves said otherwise. She nodded to herself in the mirror and turned away.

She slung her messenger bag over a shoulder and left her dorm, locking the door behind her. The hallway was empty, but Amethyst and Garnet's door was wide open, so Pearl cautiously peered around the doorframe. Inside, Garnet lounged on the couch, raising a hand in greeting when she saw Pearl's nose poke into the room.

Pearl blushed and smiled awkwardly at having been caught in the act.

"You can come in if you want. Amethyst is still getting ready," Garnet said.

"Alright," Pearl said. She sat next to Garnet on the couch with her legs crossed and her hands fidgeting with each other. Pearl knew she couldn't ask them out yet because Amethyst wasn't present, but the nerves gnawing at her insides still continued, making what would have been a peaceful silence an uncomfortable one.

"Are you okay?" Garnet finally asked.

Pearl stiffened, slapping on a too wide grin in her attempt to remain casual. "Yes, fine! Why do you ask?" She gave a nervous little titter of a laugh.

Garnet shrugged and dropped the subject. A beat of silence passed before Garnet spoke up again. "There's been something Amethyst and I have been meaning to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Pearl raised an eyebrow.

"We should wait for Amethyst though," Garnet said.

"What? I heard my name," Amethyst said as she haphazardly hopped into the room while shoving a shoe onto her foot. 

"I was telling Pearl that we had something to talk about today," Garnet said slowly.

"Oh," Amethyst said, glancing up for a moment, "Right." She finally managed to slip her shoe on and stomped the floor to make sure. "Okay. Ready to go," she said, hands on hips.

The three left the dorm room with an uncharacteristic lack of conversation. Pearl cleared her throat. "Did I miss a birthday?" She chuckled uncertainly.

'"No, no. It's not bad." Amethyst rubbed her neck, smiling ruefully. "Well, maybe."

Pearl frowned at the cryptic answer, stepping gracefully over someone hungover and curled up in the hallway.

"Well, there's something I also would like to discuss with you," Pearl said, biting the bullet. "But maybe not right now," she hastily added.

Amethyst's eyes took on a mischievous light. "What? What is it?" She asked, poking Pearl in the ribs.

Pearl squeaked and squirmed out of the way. "Nothing," she insisted. 

"You want to talk to us about nothing?" Amethyst teased, now poking Pearl with both hands. 

Pearl stuttered. "N-no. Ah!" She clapped a hand over her mouth to trap the giggle trying to escape her, and pushed past Amethyst to hurry down the flight of stairs.

"You're ticklish!" Amethyst realized. Her giddy laughter turned into something villainous as she advanced on Pearl, fingers wiggling.

Pearl backed away. "Amethyst," she warned.

Amethyst continued to cackle.

Pearl looked to Garnet for help; Garnet only shrugged apologetically. Pearl huffed in exasperation and burst out of the building into frigid autumn air. She tugged her scarf up over her chin, already shivering.

Pearl heard the door open behind her, and someone warm encircled her waist from behind, chuckling into her jacket. 

"Amethyst," Pearl said, sighing.

"Heya P," Amethyst said.

Pearl rested her hands lightly on Amethyst's. "No tickling?" She asked hopefully.

"Pshh, one day," Amethyst said, pulling away from Pearl, "One day when you're not payin' attention, then I'll get ya." She grinned deviously.

Pearl shook her head. 

"Come on, you two!" Garnet called, a few paces ahead.

Once Pearl and Amethyst had caught up, Garnet spoke. "Now, about that thing we wanted to talk about--"

"Wait," Amethyst said, grabbing Garnet's arm. "Do you hear that?"

Someone was screaming in the distance. And the noise was steadily getting louder. Pearl turned her head just in time to see a blur of someone bowl right between her and Garnet, shoving Garnet into Amethyst and toppling all three of them.

"Peridot!" Amethyst shouted. 

Pearl spit out a blade of grass and pushed herself up on her elbows. Confused, she watched Peridot sprint away from them, still screaming shrilly with her arms flailing above her head. "What on earth," Pearl muttered.

Garnet's groaning drew her attention away from Peridot. "Is everyone alright?" Pearl asked.

"Uh... I think," Amethyst said, leaning over to look into her lap where Garnet's head had conveniently landed. "You okay, G?"

Garnet hissed, pressing a hand over her eyes. "Glasses," she bit out.

"Oh," Pearl said, rising to her feet, "Don't worry. They couldn't have gone far." She studied the grassy area around them.

"Hey, in that bush," Amethyst said, pointing.

The glint caught Pearl's eyes and she pried the glasses out from between the branches. "Got it," she said. "Here, Garnet." Pearl kneeled down to hand her the glasses.

Garnet reached for them blindly and put the glasses on, her teeth still bared in a grimace. "Thank you," she said.

"Anytime," Pearl replied.

More footsteps thundered down the sidewalk.

"Oh what is it now?" Amethyst bemoaned. "Wait, Jasper?"

Garnet forced Pearl down with jarring speed, trapping Pearl against her sternum. Pearl struggling for a moment before freezing, hearing Jasper's pounding footsteps and feeling something hit her hair, just barely grazing her head.

"Jesus /Christ/, let's get out of here before anyone else tries to kill us," Amethyst said.

Garnet's grip around Pearl slackened and Pearl propped herself up, gingerly touching the part of her head that had come so close to being kicked.

"Did she hit you?" Garnet asked, worried.

"No, I don't know how, but you managed to pull me down just in time. Thank you," Pearl said.

"You're welcome."

"Yeah, told ya Pearl. Garnet /knows/ things," Amethyst said, a hint of pride in her voice.

Pearl's phone dinged, a reminder. "Shoot," Pearl said, checking the time, "Two minutes. I'm going to be late."

Amethyst craned her neck to look at the building that held Pearl's class. "You could probably make it. If you run," she said.

"Fine," Pearl said, standing and brushing the dust and debris from her clothes. She began to touch her toes, but Amethyst interrupted with a loud laugh.

"What are you doing? You're gonna be late," Amethyst said.

"Stretching is very important, Amethyst," Pearl retorted.

"Dude," Amethyst said, chuckling with disbelief.

Pearl finished up her stretches (which were rather rushed in her opinion, but Amethyst did have a good point). "Alright, I'm off," she declared.

"Have fun," Garnet said.

Pearl gave them a parting wave and took off across the quad. She laughed, hearing Amethyst and Garnet whooping and cheering behind her. Pearl veered off the sidewalk to cut across the grass, reaching a side door to the building and shouldering it open. Up a flight of stairs and then she slowed her pace, attempting to enter the classroom as dignified as she could while being out of breath with her red cheeks and chill bitten ears.

To her relief, the professor had yet to begin speaking. Pearl sat down heavily in her seat, ignoring the curious stares of her classmates in favor of recalling Amethyst and Garnet's cheers. Pearl hid her grin with a hand. 

Now she /knew/ she had it bad.

\-----

Pearl was determined to ask them out at lunch, if not because she wanted to be with them, then at least so she could focus on her lectures instead of giddily daydreaming of sweeping them off their feet with her request. She munched distractedly on her salad as she fell into yet another said daydream.

"Pearl," Garnet greeted.

Pearl looked up, half a piece of lettuce hanging past her mouth.

Garnet smirked as she sat down. "You look like a rabbit," she said.

"What? Oh," Pearl said. She quickly swallowed the lettuce, blushing in embarrassment.

"Scoot over, Garnet," Amethyst said, plopping her wrapped sandwich down on the table.

Garnet moved over a space in the booth seat, but not before coolly quipping, "You could always sit in my lap."

Amethyst shoved Garnet's shoulder lightly with her own, grinning despite her blush. "You're a tease," she said, poking Garnet's nose.

Pearl watched their flirting, feeling both amused and a little empty. Usually the emptiness would cause her to falter and doubt herself, but she shook it off and clung to that persistence she had felt earlier. If everything worked out then maybe this unpleasant empty distance between the two and Pearl would vanish.

A balled up napkin bounced off her forehead, and she blinked questioningly at Amethyst.

"You're zoning, P," Amethyst said.

"Sorry. Just thinking." Pearl smiled ruefully.

Amethyst waved a hand dismissively. "It's okay, we just wanted to make sure you were listening."

Garnet nodded and leaned forward, her clasped hands resting on the table. "We were interrupted this morning," she started, her posture and words reminding Pearl of some sort of business leader.

"We were. But before that there's something I'd like to say," Pearl said, her words growing more and more unsure as she uttered them.

Garnet and Amethyst exchanged a glance before shrugging. 

"Sure, what's on your mind?" Amethyst asked, busy unwrapping her sandwich.

Pearl straightened in her seat, almost feeling as if she were back in high school about to give a speech in front of the class. "I--" Pearl paused as Amethyst suddenly coughed, her fist coming down hard against the table.

"Are you choking?" Pearl asked, startled.

Amethyst shook her head no, and then her coughs stopped altogether and she nodded her head yes frantically, hands clutching her throat.

Pearl jumped to her feet, eyes widened in alarm.

Garnet thumped Amethyst on the back a few times, and when that didn't work she dragged Amethyst up and out of the booth to perform the Heimlich maneuver.

Pearl was ashamed to say that she could only numbly watch the scene unfold. 

After a few forceful thrusts, what was caught in Amethyst's throat finally loosened and Amethyst heaved in gulping breaths of air, taking time to cuss loudly in between each breath.

"God dammit," Amethyst sputtered as Garnet set her back down on the seat. "Fuck. I think I almost died," she said, face pale. "Garnet, that fucking sandwich almost killed me."

Garnet slid into the booth beside her, wordlessly drawing Amethyst to her chest with shaky hands. Amethyst latched onto Garnet, breathing another muffled "Jesus fuck" for good measure.

Pearl let out a long exhale with a sound like an untied balloon, and sunk bonelessly into her side of the booth seat. She leaned her head back, her eyes catching the small group of gaping onlookers from their tables. Pearl waved her hands as if to shoo them away and most of the onlookers looked elsewhere, bashful at Pearl's silent scolding. 

Pearl closed her eyes. If she were still superstitiously religious, she might have thought that Amethyst choking was a sign that Pearl should not ask the two out. And even now that she wasn't looking for signs, she definitely wasn't going to pick up where she left off in conversation; not after that. 

Pearl could still feel herself trembling, the last of the adrenaline running its course. The only thing she wanted to do now was crawl into bed. She dreaded her next class.

"You. Are. A. Dingus," Garnet said between kisses to Amethyst's face. "Eat slower," she said.

"Yeah, I probably will after that," Amethyst said, giving a nervous chortle.

"Good," Pearl murmured.

Amethyst snorted, amused by Pearl's tone. "Here P," she said, pushing her half eaten sandwich across the table, "Can you throw this devil sandwich away the next time you get up?"

"With pleasure," Pearl assured her.

Amethyst leaned her head back to look at Garnet. "Thanks by the way," she said.

"Welcome," Garnet hummed.

"And since I've experienced this life threatening event," Amethyst said, putting on a corny inspirational voice, "I've learned what's really important in life: skipping a class that costs you thousands of dollars to go watch netflix in your dorm."

"Are you really?" Garnet asked.

"Yeah. I'm not really in the mindset for studying right now," Amethyst said with a shrug.

"Fair point. I'll join you," Garnet said.

Amethyst wriggled out of Garnet's lap. "No, you have class, ya goof."

"It's an easy class. Besides I have to make sure you're not choking without me."

"Too soon, G," Amethyst said, with a laugh.

Garnet stood up, allowing Amethyst to slide out of the booth.

"So I'll see you guys later?" Pearl said.

Amethyst and Garnet seemed to falter at that. 

"We'll see ya when we see ya, I guess," Amethyst said. She scratched the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry we never got to hear what you were going to say. And vice versa." Garnet gave an apologetic smile. "We'll try again tomorrow."

Pearled nodded. "Tomorrow then."

"See ya, Pearlie," Amethyst said, quickly ruffling Pearl's short hair as she walked by.

Pearl mused on the empty table in front of her. It was a little strange to be eating alone again; she supposed she had gotten used to the company. 

The empty feeling returned.

\-----

Pearl stepped out of her shower, quickly drying off with a towel and putting on some shorts and a tee shirt. She weaseled under her covers and clicked her lamp off, sighing in a disgruntled way. Her day didn't go as planned; she didn't ask Garnet and Amethyst out and adding to that, she only attempted to ask once. She didn't even try after that, and her cowardice left her pride wounded.

Pearl rolled over on her side restlessly. When Amethyst and Garnet left her at lunch, she felt the divide-- the distance-- between them and her once again. Pearl found she couldn't expel it from her mind this time, and it gnawed at her all throughout the day.

And with it came the doubts. Pearl scowled. Maybe she had been deluding herself the entire time. Honestly, what were the odds Garnet and Amethyst, a very much in love couple, would want to risk bringing another person into their relationship? What were the odds they even liked her at all? Wasn't polyamory rather rare?

Pearl rubbed her eyes, pleading her brain to shut off so she could sleep and ignore all this for just a few hours. But her brain continued on.

What was more likely was that Amethyst and Garnet had seen that Pearl was new to the school and basically friendless and being good people, they wanted to make her feel more welcome by hanging out with her. 

A pity friendship.

Pearl winced at the thought. "Well, now I feel even more miserable," she griped. She grabbed her phone from her bedside table, squinting at the blinding light and then groaning as she read the time; it was half past one in the morning and Pearl intended on getting up early tomorrow.

"Ughhh," she said, pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes. "I hate this. I hate realizing terrible things late at night."

Pearl rolled out of bed and trudged to her bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror as she slid down the wall to the cold tile floor. "How dramatic," Pearl muttered in a deadpan. She wasn't really sure what she was doing anymore.

She stared numbly at the sink in front of her and was just beginning to nod off when a loud cracking noise met her ears. Pearl froze, suddenly wide awake. She felt her heart fall down into her gut when she heard the slow creak of her front door opening.

"Fuck," she mouthed as she crawled out of the bathroom. Pearl scanned her room for anything that could be used as a weapon and berated herself for not having more blunt objects. She settled on her bedside lamp, yanking its cord out of the wall as quietly as she could. She wrapped the cord around the lamp and tied it off with trembling fingers.

A crash came from her living room, accompanied by grumbled swearing.

Pearl snatched her phone up and searched through the numbers, her thumb hovering over the campus police number as she hesitantly eased out of her bedroom.

The front door hung open, letting in dim light from the hallway, but it was barely enough to illuminate anything. Pearl noted the lamp vase shattered in the floor first, and then she saw the silhouette of some hulking figure splayed across her couch.

She gulped, pulse loud in her ears. Pearl tightened her grip around her lamp, clearing her throat uneasily. "Excuse me, if you don't leave right now I'll have to call the police," Pearl said in a wavering voice.

The huge figure on the couch jolted and staggered to their feet. "The hell? You're in--" They hiccuped as they prowled around the couch.

Pearl brandished her lamp in front of her. "Don't come any closer!"

"--my place," the intruder finished with a low growl. "So get out."

"N-no, you get out," Pearl said, taking a step back as the other advanced. If she weren't so terrified, she might have found the exchange amusing. 

"We can-- we can play this game forever," the intruder slurred, eyes glinting darkly.

THWACK! 

Pearl swiped the intruder in the jaw with the base of her lamp, bounding back immediately when the intruder roared in pain.

"You little shit," the intruder hissed. 

Pearl leapt over the back of the couch to avoid their lunge and decided that now would be as good a time as ever to start screaming. She darted around and over the few pieces of furniture in the dark of her tiny living room, screaming all the while with the intruder thudding clumsily after her. 

"What the /fuck/ is going on?" Amethyst asked.

The lights switched on and Pearl made the mistake of hesitating at the sudden eye-piercing brightness, half of Amethyst's name out her mouth before the intruder tackled her from behind. Pearl yelped hoarsely as the air wheezed out of her, both from the impact and from the base of her lamp now digging sharply into her hip.

"Jasper, what the fuck is wrong with you today?!" Amethyst growled as she and Garnet hauled the bulky woman off of Pearl. 

Pearl shakily pushed herself up, gasping for air.

"She started it," Jasper spat.

Pearl let loose a terrifying guttural snarl of a war cry and swung her lamp upside Jasper's chin.

"Pearl! Pearl, that's enough," Garnet said, jumping between her and Jasper to wrestle the lamp away with some difficulty. After tossing the lamp aside, Garnet clamped Pearl's arm to her sides and sat down over her thighs in an effort to restrain the woman. Pearl struggled against her, neck craning to peer over Garnet's shoulder so that she could throw daggers with her eyes at Jasper.

Jasper sneered back, but didn't attempt to shake off Amethyst's grip. "I swear to god if you fucked my face up...."

"Shut it," Garnet said, voice dangerously low.

Amethyst moved away from Jasper's mouth. "Dude, you're hammered," she said, nose wrinkled. "Come on, I'll steer you back to your dorm, even though I really should drag your sorry ass to the fucking campus police."

Jasper paled. "This /isn't/ my dorm...?"

Amethyst tugged her to her feet and out the door, Jasper sputtering all the while.

Pearl watched Jasper leave with a sort of hyper-vigilance, chest heaving with fury.

"Pearl," Garnet said, her tone soothing, "You're alright." She released Pearl's arms cautiously.

Pearl drew her gaze away from the door, swallowing thickly. "Y-yeah," she said. She was surprised to see how badly she was shaking now that the red was fading from her vision. "Ga-- Garnet?"

"Mmhm?" Garnet hummed.

Pearl broke into embarrassingly loud tears instead of replying.

Garnet scooped her into her arms immediately, shushing her quietly. "You're safe. I've got you," she said, threading her fingers through Pearl's hair reassuringly.

Pearl's breathing quickened with another sob. She simultaneously wanted to curl deeper into Garnet's chest and beat someone into the ground, two feelings she never thought she'd be torn between. Pearl chose the former and clutched at Garnet's tank top, worrying the fabric in her hands.

"You did well," Garnet murmured. She rubbed small circles into Pearl's scalp and Pearl pressed closer into Garnet in response. Her cries slowly died down.

Pearl lifted her head, grimacing in mortification when she saw all the tears and snot she had left on Garnet's almost bare shoulder. She covered her hands with her face, suddenly wishing for the forgiving release of death.

"What are you--? Oh," Garnet said. "It's alright. Can't be helped," she said, placing a hand over Pearl's shoulder and squeezing.

Pearl remained silent, her face in her hands. Garnet sighed and shifted off of Pearl's legs to sit beside her. Pearl winced as the feeling returned to her legs with pins and needles, and with that, her mind focused for once on her injuries. 

Pearl moaned and clutched her hurt hip.

"Are you hurt?" Garnet asked in a panicked way, making Pearl wonder if she was kicking herself for not asking sooner.

Pearl raised the edge of her shirt to examine it; the area around her hip was scuffed up, bruising already present. She grimaced and put her shirt back down. "It hurts, but I think I'll live," she said grimly. 

Now to figure out why her feet were stinging so much. Pearl drew her foot towards her, unintentionally exhibiting her ballerina flexibility as she did so. Bits and pieces of porcelain were embedded in her feet from the living room lamp Jasper had shattered earlier. Garnet hissed in sympathy. 

"Okay, Jasper's back in her room" Amethyst said as she walked in.

"Watch out for that," Garnet said, pointing to the area with the shattered lamp.

"Yikes, thanks G," Amethyst said, skittering around the shards. She grimaced when she got to Pearl and noticed her feet. "You weren't so lucky though."

Pearl shook her head tiredly, already working on plucking the pieces from her feet. 

"That's gnarly," Amethyst commented, watching Pearl extract a few bloodied shards.

Garnet rose to stand. "I'll be back. Stay here, Amethyst."

"Gotcha," Amethyst said.

Pearl moved on to the next foot, which thankfully had less broken porcelain in it than the other.

"So uh, you okay, P?" Amethyst asked.

Pearl grit her teeth. "I am prying glass from my feet," she answered tersely.

Amethyst visibly flinched, sending a wave of guilt washing over Pearl. "I'm sorry," Pearl whispered, staring desolately at the small pile of bloodstained porcelain in front of her.

"Nah, I understand," Amethyst said, bumping her lightly with a shoulder.

Garnet returned, handing Pearl some bandaids and a bottle of antibacterial spray. "That should help," she said before turning to survey the mess of Pearl's living room.

"Amethyst, can you help me pick up all this glass?" She asked.

"Yeah, but that might be a /little/ impossible," Amethyst replied, eyeing the carpet with distrust.

Pearl alternated between patching up her feet and worriedly watching Garnet and Amethyst carefully throw away broken porcelain. She finished placing the bandages and stood up gingerly, weakly protesting when the other two darted over to assist her.

Pearl thanked them and walked/hopped to her bedroom for a pair of socks to put over her bandaged feet. When she returned they were just finishing up.

"Hey Pearl, do you know anyone with a vacuum?" Amethyst asked.

"No, not here," Pearl said.

"Then you might wanna wear shoes in this room for a while," Amethyst replied.

"We got the bigger pieces picked up though," Garnet said.

"Thank you both," Pearl said, "Not just for cleaning up. I'm don't want to think about what would have happened if you hadn't showed up."

"You woulda beaten Jasper into a pulp," Amethyst said with a laugh.

Pearl smiled. "I really doubt that."

Amethyst scoffed playfully, moving to wrap Pearl in a hug. "I'm glad you're okay," she said, voice small.

Pearl was touched; Amethyst's words were simple enough, but Pearl felt as if she had peered into Amethyst's very soul by hearing them. She didn't know what to say, so she pressed a kiss to the top of Amethyst's head in the hopes that it would suffice.

Garnet joined them not a moment later. "Come back to our dorm with us," she offered.

"Why?" Pearl asked, secretly thrilled by the proposal.

Amethyst snickered. "Well your door's busted up for one thing."

"What?" Pearl lifted her head to stare at the long crack extending through the doorframe. "Fuck," she swore, "They'll make me pay for that. I am going to kill Jasper."

"Let's not worry about that now," Garnet said, pulling away from the two, "It's late." 

"Are you coming?" Amethyst asked.

Pearl looked around her disheveled dorm, thinking. "If you guys are okay with it," she decided.

Amethyst cheered, "Sleepover!" and bounced out the door.

"Good," Garnet said to Pearl, "I don't think we should leave you alone for a while anyway."

Pearl laughed in agreement, blushing faintly.

After yanking Pearl's door into a position where it at least appeared to be closed and locked, they went into the neighboring dorm and Garnet and Amethyst moved their beds together with a speed that suggested they did that often.

"Unless you want the couch," Garnet said.

"Euhh," Pearl looked back, "No, not really."

"Then come on," Amethyst said, patting the bed, "We don't bite." Her grin curled into a salacious one. "Unless you're into that."

"How did I know that was coming?" Pearl asked, smiling despite her tone. She crawled into bed next to Amethyst.

"You know, I could make another innuendo with that, but I'll spare your virgin ears," Amethyst teased.

"Oh?" Pearl turned towards Amethyst, asking with false innocence. "Who ever said I was a virgin?"

"Uhh." Amethyst blushed, leaning back slightly at Pearl's intensity.

"You know what happens when you assume, Amethyst," Garnet almost singsonged.

"I wasn't assuming, I was just-- I was...." Amethyst groaned, tugging her hair over her face to hide her blush.

Pearl laughed. "Sweet dreams, Amethyst."

Garnet clicked the light off and settled into bed. Amethyst mumbled something into her own mane of hair before sighing and rolling over onto her side, her back to Pearl. Pearl stared at Amethyst's form, contemplating the urge to spoon her. Pearl ended up tilting her head so it rested against Amethyst's upper back while keeping the rest of her body away. And Amethyst didn't seem to mind at all, but Pearl still felt something unsettling clawing within her.

Was it wrong to cuddle when she liked the other so much? What if Amethyst considered it completely platonic? Would she be disturbed if she ever discovered Pearl's feelings?

Pearl frowned and moved her head away. She swallowed uneasily, realizing that now she felt guilty for even sharing a bed with them while holding such feelings.

Pearl sat up, sliding her legs off the side of the bed. "Can we turn the light on?" She asked, gazing resolutely at the dark floor.

"Mm, sure. One second," Garnet said.

Pearl heard Garnet reach for her glasses and switch the light on. 

"What's wrong?" Garnet asked.

Pearl ran her hands through her short hair anxiously, still with her back to them. "I... There's something I need to say. Erh, confess maybe." She took a deep breath and stood to face them, wringing her hands together.

"Whatever it is can't be that bad," Amethyst said.

Pearl grimaced and shrugged. "It's uh... Well," she paused, gathering her courage. "I like you, both of you."

The beat of hushed silence was pure suspense in Pearl's mind, so she rambled on to fill the space.

"In a 'I want to date you' way. And it's okay if you don't feel the same, but I just had to get this off my chest. I tried to ask you both out today but Amethyst choked on a sandwich and I couldn't bring myself to try again and...." Pearl trailed off, seeing Garnet and Amethyst's stunned expressions.

"You like us," Garnet said.

Pearl nodded, hardly daring to hope.

A crooked smile formed on Garnet's face; it was probably one of the widest smiles Pearl had ever seen from her, and Amethyst beamed brighter than the sun, practically vibrating with excitement.

"So are you asking us out?" Amethyst asked, eyes shining.

Pearl laughed nervously. "Y-yes?"

Amethyst whooped and fist pumped the air before reigning in her enthusiasm. "Ahem. Yes, that'd be nice," she said, faking a nonchalant attitude. It didn't last very long though; Amethyst's straight face morphed into a pleased Cheshire Cat grin not a moment later.

"And here we were worried you didn't feel the same," Garnet mused.

Pearl couldn't believe her ears. "Wait, so that's a yes? You like me back?"

Amethyst nodded vigorously, and Garnet chuckled. "Yes, we do," she said.

Pearl's cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling. "Oh. Well that turned out better than I expected," she chirped happily. She nearly skipped into bed where she was engulfed in a very giggly hug, courtesy of Amethyst. Garnet reached over to ruffle her hair affectionately.

"So," Pearl said, still shocked, "We're actually doing this?"

Garnet and Amethyst exchanged smirking glances.

"Yeah, we're doing this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I rewrote the beginning and end of that at least three times each, but anyway, I really enjoyed writing this chapter. And I hope you enjoyed reading it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending of this chapter was bugging me, so I've added a bit at the end just after they finish talking about Jasper (it's before the dash) and hopefully that should tie it up better.
> 
> You can probably disregard the first paragraph of the end note now.

The first thing Pearl noticed when she woke up was that her face was pressed into a mane of thick hair. Her sleepy mind automatically thought "Rose," and she relaxed into it for a moment before the prickling in her numb arm made her raise her head up. An odd mix of disappointment and content warred within her at the realization that it was Amethyst and not Rose who she was curled around. 

Pearl winced as another shock of pins and needles traveled up her arm. She tried to slowly tug her arm out from underneath Amethyst's head without waking her, but it was more difficult than she thought it would be.

"You won't wake her," Garnet said.

Pearl startled, meeting Garnet's bare eyes in the dark room.

"Really. Just yank your arm free," Garnet said, a smile playing around her lips.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. Here, I'll help," Garnet said, leaning over and raising Amethyst's shoulders up a few inches. Amethyst mumbled, but other than that, she didn't stir.

Pearl pulled her arm out and flexed her hand, trying to hurry the uncomfortable prickling sensation away. "Thanks," she told Garnet.

Garnet hummed and set Amethyst back down onto the pillows. 

"How long have you been up?" Pearl asked.

Garnet shrugged. "Half an hour maybe?"

Pearl reached for her phone to check the time, only to grasp empty air and realize that she had dropped it in her dorm during her fight with Jasper.

"Do you have the time?" Pearl asked.

Garnet shifted to grab her phone and pushed it into Pearl's hands. "I can't look at it," Garnet explained in response to Pearl's confused expression.

"Oh, right," Pearl murmured. She turned the phone on and was quite blinded by the brightness herself; she didn't want to think about what it could do to Garnet's eyes. 

Pearl shut the phone off and handed it back to Garnet. "I have some time left," Pearl said, stretching out luxuriously.

Garnet turned on her side and propped her chin over the top of Amethyst's head, staring at Pearl with a peculiar look in her eyes.

"What?" Pearl asked.

"Trying to figure out how it is that we tried to ask each other out on the same day," Garnet said.

Pearl smiled coyly. "So /that's/ what you were trying to do. I must admit, I suspected, but I didn't want to get my hopes up."

Garnet nodded slightly. "When you mentioned you were confused by us the other day we decided we should go ahead and ask."

"I couldn't figure out whether you two liked me or if you both were just terrible flirts," Pearl said with a short laugh, "So I decided to ask you and find out. It was killing me."

Garnet chuckled. "I'm sorry we didn't ask you sooner. We were going to. I don't know if you remember, but you made a comment about polyamory, and we were a little unsure after that."

Pearl frowned, trying to recall what she had said. The only time she ever mentioned polyamory was when she had talked about.... "Oh! About Rose and Greg?"

Garnet nodded. 

"Sorry," Pearl said with a rueful smile.

"It worked out in the end," Garnet said.

"It did," Pearl said warmly. She raised her hand with the intention to graze Garnet's cheek but paused uncertainly. "Can I?" 

"Sure," Garnet said.

Holding her breath a little, Pearl gently brushed Garnet's cheek with the back of her curled fingers. The warmth on her cheeks made Pearl wonder if Garnet was blushing as badly as she was. Garnet sighed; hot air moved against Pearl's hand.

Pearl drew her hand back to her side, suddenly bashful and succumbing to the butterflies in her stomach, and she pressed her blush into Amethyst's shoulder.

Garnet laughed, putting an arm around the both of them.

Pearl dozed off and woke up to Amethyst shifting underneath her. "I'm really feelin' the love, guys," Amethyst said, "But I think you're gonna suffocate me."

Pearl raised her head, confused by the light streaming in through the shuttered window. Her eyes widened at the realization of how much she had slept in and she yelped and scrabbled out from underneath the sheets, landing in the floor as a result. 

Amethyst and Garnet popped their heads over the edge of the bed. 

"You okay, dude?" Amethyst asked.

"Fine, I'm fine," Pearl insisted, standing up faster than she should have. "A little sore," she added, wincing.

"You should really take it easy today," Garnet said.

"I'll try, but I still have to go to class." Pearl looked at the morning light again anxiously. "I have to get ready."

"Do you want us to walk you there?" Garnet asked.

"No, it's okay. You can stay in bed," Pearl said, knowing both of their classes started later than hers did. "I'm really regretting scheduling a class so early in the morning."

Amethyst laughed. "Yeah, just think, you coulda hung out with us some more."

\-----

Pearl was disappointed to see her bill show up on her account only a few hours after she had told her RA about the damage to her door. The bill wasn't as bad as she thought it would be, but that wasn't the entire issue: the issue was the future call to her parents she knew she would have to make.

"Just tell 'em it was Jasper's fault. It's the truth, isn't it?" Amethyst said, kicking her feet lazily in the air as she hung upside down off the couch.

Pearl grimaced, shaking her head. "No, they can't find out about that. They'll never let me out of the house again."

"Dude. You're an adult. They can't keep you there," Amethyst said.

"Maybe it /was/ a little bit of an exaggeration," Pearl admitted, "But still, I don't want them to know about the break in. They... They wouldn't take it well."

Amethyst hauled herself right side up, holding her head as the blood rushed back. "So then what are you gonna tell them?"

Pearl tapped her fingers restlessly against the keyboard of her laptop. "I guess I'll have to lie about it," she said forebodingly. "But oh, I don't want to call them...."

Scoffing slightly at Pearl's words, Amethyst walked across the room to sprinkle food into her tiny tank of stolen shrimp.

"What?" Pearl said.

"Have you ever lied before in your life?" Amethyst asked, incredulous.

Pearl huffed indignantly. "You seem to think I'm more innocent than I am, Amethyst."

Amethyst shrugged, setting the lid back over the shrimp tank. "Says the girl whose rebellious phase was 'not paying as much attention in church,'" she teased.

Pearl scowled at her laptop and sighed deeply.

Amethyst plopped back down on the couch beside her. "You know, I'm surprised the shrimp have lasted this long. I was afraid Onion and Sour Cream would eat each other." 

Pearl made a face. "I'm surprised you haven't been caught yet," she said.

"The RA's a slacker," Amethyst said.

"Except when it comes to filing the damage report to the finance office," Pearl grumbled.

"Just call your parents and get it over with," Amethyst urged. "I'll take you out for ice cream after."

"Ice cream in this cold weather?" 

Amethyst rolled her eyes, bumping Pearl with her shoulder. "Okay, pizza then. But you gotta call. It's no fun watching you stress, P."

Pearl took a deep breath and closed her laptop. "Okay. I can do this," she told herself.

"Atta girl," Amethyst cheered.

Pearl flushed at the praise before swallowing nervously, gazing at the name "Mom" in her phone. "Ookay," she said again.

She pressed the call button and waited with baited breath.

"Pearl! It's so good of you to call!" Her mother's subtle Southern lilt burst against Pearl's ears.

"Hey Mom," Pearl said, trying to keep her tone light.

"Why didn't you visit last weekend? You said you were going to," her mother said, the pout evident in her voice. "Pearl thinks she's all grown up and doesn't have any time for her parents," she continued in a baby voice.

Pearl cringed, tugging nervously at the edge of her sweater. Amethyst met her eyes, questioning and concerned; Pearl smiled warily back.

Her mother's voice took on an exasperated tone. "Heaven forbid I ever see my daughter--"

"I'm sorry," Pearl cut in. "I got sick last weekend. I'll visit this weekend, promise."

"As long as you keep your promise this time, dear," her mother said.

"Of course," Pearl replied, setting the phone against her shoulder to wipe her clammy hands against her jeans. "Now uh, why I called...."

"Oh here it is. What happened?"

"Uhm, I-- I fell," Pearl began, her nervousness and exposure to her mother's accent bringing her own out, words drawling amidst her stutters, "But I'm okay. Just uh, I damaged the-- my door and, ah, it broke."

"You broke the door?" Her mother repeated slowly.

"Y-- yes, and they charged me for it," Pearl added, squeaking a little.

Her mother sighed loudly, irritably. "Pearl, I know you don't understand this, but we don't have infinite money that we can just throw at you. We're already paying your tuition. Your father's job isn't doing well and we don't have any money to waste."

"I know, I know," Pearl said. "Wait, dad's job isn't doing well?" 

"...No," her mother admitted. "In hindsight, moving here may not have been the best of decisions."

"Oh," Pearl breathed. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah...." Her mother trailed off.

Pearl cleared her throat. "Well, I'll email you the bill. And uh, see you this weekend."

"Well, alright, sweetie," her mother said, sounding reluctant to end the conversation. "We'll be looking forward to it. Love you."

"Love you too," Pearl said quickly. She hung up a moment later, breathing a sigh of relief.

"How'd it go?" Amethyst asked.

"Better than I thought it would," Pearl said, flopping onto the couch.

"I liked your accent," Amethyst said, grinning.

Pearl clapped a hand over her mouth as if she could retract her accented words. 

"Chill, chill. It wasn't that bad," Amethyst reassured her. "Kinda cute actually," she added shyly.

Pearl blushed. "Well, thank you. Now I believe you promised me pizza."

Amethyst roared out a laugh and hopped to her feet. "Alright, alright. Let's go ask Garnet if she's coming though."

Pearl followed Amethyst to the closed bedroom. "Hey G," Amethyst said, rapping her knuckles against the door, "We're going out for pizza. You wanna come?"

Garnet opened the door a moment later. "Yeah, I'll come," she said, sounding drowsy. 

"You sure? We'll bring you some back if you need to chill more," Amethyst said.

"No, I'll go. I need some air," Garnet said, turning back to grab her shoes.

"....Are you alright?" Pearl asked as Garnet slipped past her.

"Fine." Garnet turned her head to throw a quick smile over her shoulder.

"She just needs space sometimes," Amethyst explained with a shrug.

"That and I just woke up. I'm not always so out of it," Garnet said, amused.

"Oh, well that's good," Pearl said as she put on her jacket.

"Yeah," Amethyst said, laughing, "Hey G, do you remember that one time in high school when you disappeared for like, two days?"

Garnet snatched her keys up from off the coffee table. "Vividly. I was very stressed."

They stepped into the hallway and Garnet locked the door while Pearl frowned at her own still broken door for a moment. She drew her attention back to Garnet, her curiosity getting the better of her. "Why? If you're okay with answering," Pearl said.

Garnet hummed, taking Amethyst's hand as they made their way out of the building. "There were some family friends staying out at our house that week, so it felt like I was constantly surrounded by people, from school to home, and I'm--" She laughed. "--I'm terribly introverted, so I got a bit frazzled with it all. On top of all that, I was homesick."

"I can understand that," Pearl said empathetically.

"Oh don't spare my feelings," Amethyst said to Garnet, "You know I was a part of that, too."

Garnet grimaced. "True. We worked past it though."

"We had just started dating and I was a bit uh, over enthusiastic," Amethyst explained to Pearl. 

"Oh," Pearl eloquently said.

"I think I almost stifled ya," Amethyst said, looking up at Garnet.

Garnet heard the unspoken apology in her voice and shushed her. "It's in the past."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right," Amethyst said, brightening.

\-----

Pearl was suddenly ravenous the moment she set foot in the warm pizza parlor. They settled in a booth in the corner, mostly out of sight of the other guests. Pearl took her jacket off and sat beside Amethyst; Garnet sat across from them. 

They ordered a pizza with half cheese and the other half topped with absolutely everything at Amethyst's request.

"Anchovies, really?" Pearl asked, slightly revolted.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it," Amethyst said with a wink.

Pearl shook her head and sipped her coke. 

Garnet shifted in her seat, leaning forward. "Does this count as our first date?"

Pearl sputtered, coughing on her drink.

"Please, no more choking," Amethyst begged.

"I'm fine," Pearl said, wiping her mouth. "But um, /does/ this count?" She asked, glancing between Garnet and Amethyst.

Amethyst shrugged, one hand going to rub the back of her neck nervously. "I mean, I don't see why not...."

"Sure," Garnet said, "If that's okay with you."

Pearl nodded and suddenly felt the constant underlying tension between the three of them flare up to an all time high, effectively silencing everyone at the table.

The waiter came by to drop off their pizza and left with a chorus of thank you's. Amethyst dug in immediately, and Pearl watched with an expression morphed between disgust and awe.

"What's... your favorite color?" Garnet asked.

"What? Oh, um." Pearl frowned; half a year ago she would have said pink in a heartbeat, but now? "I don't know," she confessed, "Pink? Blue maybe?"

Garnet nodded as she tossed her anchovies onto Amethyst's plate. "Mine's red."

"Purple," Amethyst declared for hers.

"What's your favorite animal?" Pearl asked. Garnet smiled at Pearl's budding confidence.

"Hmm. A cat. But like a big scary cat," Amethyst said while dowsing her pizza in spices and parmesan cheese.

"Do dragons count?" Garnet asked.

Amethyst gasped dramatically. "I change my answer!"

Pearl laughed into her pizza. "I like birds." She paused before adding, "Anything that flies, really."

"Dude, we should go hang gliding," Amethyst decided.

"Why?" Pearl asked, confused.

"Because you want to fly."

"Oh. It's more the idea of being closer to the stars than anything," Pearl said. "One time when I was little, my father went on a business trip and we all went with him as a sort of vacation. On the plane we flew above the clouds at one point, and-- I've never seen so many stars all at once." Pearl sighed, the thought of stars bringing the memory of that summer night with Rose to the front of her mind. She tried to shake it off.

"So. Your turn, Amethyst," Pearl said.

"For wha'?" Amethyst asked around a mouthful of pizza.

"Asking a question," Garnet answered. She leaned back comfortably in a stretch, her ankles brushing Pearl's under the table. Garnet wore a quiet smirk, and if she hadn't been wearing dark glasses, Pearl could have sworn Garnet met her eyes.

"What'ssss...." Amethyst tapped her chin in contemplation. "What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?" She asked, mischief in her tone.

Pearl rubbed her face, groaning. "I'm going to need some time on that one."

Amethyst laughed giddily.

"I dyed my hair in protest of moving," Garnet said, "It looked terrible."

Amethyst grinned. "I remember that. I thought it looked cool."

"I regretted it immediately after," Garnet said, chuckling at the memory.

"For me, geesh, I don't know. I've done a lot of stupid things," Amethyst said. "It was probably trying to skateboard off of the roof. Or maybe that one time I tried to spook that guy who turned out to be some sorta secret karate master." She paused. "No, actually, the stupidest thing was when I tried to cartwheel in a grocery store and I cartwheeled right into a giant chips and dip display. And that one hurt."

"How are you even alive?" Pearl asked.

Amethyst shrugged earnestly. "Sometimes I wonder."

"Well, for mine, I had completely misinterpreted the instructions for this huge paper due at the end of ninth grade, and I realized it the night before, so I had to--"

Pearl froze, eyes wide as she caught sight of a familiar figure striding towards their table. 

"What is it?" Garnet asked, twisting around to peer above the booth. "....Jasper."

Jasper stopped at the end of the table, drumming her fingers against the edge. Pearl was oddly proud to see a bruise blooming on Jasper's jaw, evidence of how hard Pearl had whacked her.

"Jasper," Amethyst greeted, a little colder than usual.

Jasper sighed loudly, seeming frustrated. "Listen," she looked at Pearl, "I want to apologize for last night."

Pearl nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"So, I'm sorry. I thought you were in /my/ room and I will admit, I was a little drunk, so ah...." Jasper swallowed and grimaced. "Sorry."

"Oh." Pearl blinked; she hadn't been expecting an apology from her. "Thank you for apologizing, Jasper."

Jasper palmed her pockets and pulled out her wallet. "I wasn't prepared to see you, so I don't have much on me, but I might be able to give you enough money to pay for that lamp I broke."

"And the door," Amethyst added.

Jasper wilted further, an unnatural look for her broad shoulders. "I broke the door?"

"Yep," Garnet said.

"Well this is all I have," Jasper said, offering a handful of bills to Pearl.

"No, no," Pearl protested, "Please, keep your money Jasper. It's okay."

"I insist," Jasper said.

Pearl pushed her hand away. "I won't take your money."

"Please," Jasper begged, "Take half?"

"Jasper," Pearl said, frowning.

Jasper grit her teeth, throwing a twenty down on the table. "I'm not taking that back," she nearly hissed.

Pearl flinched.

Jasper pressed her hands into her face and swore. "Sorry," she said again.

"Hey," Garnet said, "You alright?"

Jasper drew her hands away from her face and wrapped them around the edge of the table, refusing to meet Garnet's gaze. "Yeah," she mumbled.

Garnet made a noncommittal hum.

"Why were you chasing Peridot yesterday? Just out of curiosity," Amethyst said.

"Little runt said something about my mother," Jasper said, the edge of a growl to her voice.

"Oh, yeah. Well you know Peridot," Amethyst said, "She's not the best with... tact."

Jasper nodded, knocking a fist lightly against the table. She took a deep breath and looked up. "I should go. Um, sorry about-- everything," she said.

"It's alright," Pearl reassured her, still stunned to see how different this Jasper was compared to last night's Jasper. "Really."

Jasper shoved her hands in her pockets and made to leave, but Garnet spoke up. "I'll see you at boxing on Monday, won't I?"

Jasper paused, still for a moment. "Yeah," she finally said, waving a hand in farewell.

Pearl watched the woman return to her table across the restaurant.

"Well, hey," Amethyst said, "You got twenty bucks outta that, P."

Pearl blew out a puff of air, deflating somewhat after the tense situation. "Is she always like that?"

"What, Jasper? Nah, she's usually a little more upbeat," Amethyst said.

"Great athlete," Garnet commented.

Pearl finished her slice of pizza in thoughtful silence.

"You guys wanna bail?" Amethyst asked after a while. The other two voiced their agreement before paying and exiting the pizza place. The setting sun painted the parking lot in a red light and Pearl admired the bright outline it created around Garnet's hair.

"Coming, P?" Amethyst asked, already at the car with Garnet. Garnet smiled as if she knew what Pearl's gaze was caught on.

Pearl shook her head to clear away her distracting thoughts. "Yes, sorry," she said.

"Don't worry about it," Garnet said, ducking into the driver's seat.

After a small internal debate, Pearl decided to join Amethyst in the back seat instead of claiming shotgun (something she was surprised Amethyst hadn't already done) and Garnet started the car. As Amethyst and Garnet lightly bickered over what radio station to put on, Pearl stared out the window, the steady rumble of the car making her eyelids heavy. 

Pearl unthinkingly rested her head on Amethyst's, freezing when Amethyst stiffened and stopped mid sentence. "Sorry," Pearl said, lifting her head up.

"No, no," Amethyst said quickly, "You can put your head back. If you want. I don't mind."

Pearl smiled at Amethyst's flustered expression and set her head back down.

\-----

They stood in front of their doors in varying degrees of awkwardness as they said their goodbyes. "Well, I had fun," Pearl said.

"Yeah, we should do more date stuff sometime," Amethyst said. She pointed at Pearl and grinned cockily. "You still gotta take us out somewhere since you /technically/ asked us out."

Pearl sputtered for a moment before sighing. "Alright, I'm sure I can think of something."

The conversation came to a halt, and Pearl struggled with the decision to initiate something, a hug, a kiss, anything. If she hadn't been so busy with her own thoughts she would have realized Garnet and Amethyst were agonizing over the same decision.

"....I guess we should get to bed," Garnet said.

"Yeah," Pearl said, nodding. She still wanted to kiss them. Wasn't that something people did at the end of first dates? She wasn't exactly sure, having only dated Rose in the past. 

And who would she kiss first? Would the other be upset?

Pearl nearly groaned aloud at her indecisiveness. "Good night Garnet, Amethyst," she eventually said, shouldering her broken door open.

"Good night," they both said before going into their own dorm.

Pearl sighed as she closed her door. "Next time. Next time I'm definitely doing something," she promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not figure out how to end this chapter properly. Right now it ends with Jasper and that makes it seem like Jasper's gonna be really important later on. She's probably gonna join their friend group, but to be honest she's a minor character at most. That might change, but as of now I feel like I've given you a red herring. Sorry. 
> 
> I'm gonna be busy next week, so there may or may not be a chapter up on Friday. Who knows.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, guys!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys. This chapter's been a doozy for some reason. I guess I (and Pearl) kept trying to put this off.
> 
> Warning: Some rather emotionally abusive parenting, Religion (in a bad light).

"You snuck into /whose/ dorm?" Pearl whispered into her phone.

"Peridot's," Amethyst answered confidently, "And if she didn't want us sneaking in she wouldn't have given us a key."

"I don't think she'd mind. Not too much anyway," Garnet said.

"Yeah, she's out with Lapis," Amethyst said.

Pearl cringed. "But what if they come back and they're-- I don't know-- ripping each other's clothes off or something?"

Amethyst laughed. "Then we'll see how long it takes 'em to notice."

"Amethyst," Pearl groaned, secretly amused. She ran a hand through her hair and stared up at her dark ceiling, sighing. "What are you guys even doing there?"

"Using her playstation. The nerd has like, a million games," Amethyst said. "And why are you whispering, P? 'Cause if you're trying to seduce us, it's working."

Pearl laughed, covering her mouth a second too late. Her eyes flickered to her bedroom door, ears straining. "Thank you," she said, voice hushed, "But it's one in the morning. My family would not like me waking them up for something like this."

"How /is/ your family?" Garnet asked.

Pearl blew a puff of air out. "Fine I guess. My parents are making me go to church tomorrow, which isn't the worst thing ever, but I'd like to sleep in."

Amethyst had finally chosen a game, if the laser gun sounds emitting faintly from Pearl's speakers said anything.

"I'm sorry," Garnet said, "Can't you decline?"

Pearl turned into her side restlessly. "I could try, but I don't really have much bargaining power. They /are/ paying my tuition and I should be grateful."

Garnet laughed lightly. "How does telling them no mean you're not grateful, Pearl?"

"I--" Pearl fell silent, trying to process. "It just-- It just does. I don't know," she sputtered out. 

Pearl could hear the concerned frown in Garnet's responding hum.

"Wait, your parents are the strict ones, right?" Amethyst said over the sound of blaster cannons and spaceships.

"...Yes," Pearl said.

"That's why you can't tell 'em no," Amethyst said.

"Or I'm just a coward," Pearl said lowly.

"Pssh, please," Amethyst said, "You took on Jasper like you were some sort of animal."

Pearl sighed, stretching out until her feet hung off the edge of her bed. "That's different. Jasper doesn't threaten me with my tuition payments."

"They do that?" Garnet asked.

"....No," Pearl admitted, teeth gritting. "But I know them, and that's definitely something they would do." She rubbed her face; her head was beginning to ache. "I'm sorry. They're really not that bad. I'm just complaining."

"We don't mind," Garnet said, "Get it off your chest."

Pearl groaned and tangled her hand in her hair again, tugging slightly. "But it's dumb. They're not that bad. A bit overprotective, but they mean well."

"C'mon P, I vent all the time about my parents. It's not a taboo or anything," Amethyst said.

"Isn't it?" Pearl murmured. Her head twinged as she sat up. "They're not too bad."

"Your repetition of that makes me think otherwise," Garnet said.

Pearl shoved her covers off. "I don't think I want to talk about this anymore."

"Alright, alright," Garnet said, suddenly sounding like honey in Pearl's ears, "I'm sorry I pushed you."

"Yeah, sorry man. We'll talk about something else."

"It's fine," Pearl said, "And uh, thank you for apologizing. That was nice of you." She stood up, massaging her forehead with one hand. "I'm going downstairs to get some ibuprofen, so try not to be too loud."

"We'll be silent as the grave," Amethyst declared.

"No, I like hearing you two. Just talk quietly," Pearl said. She hesitantly unlocked her door and slipped out into the hall.

"But I'm terrible at whispering, Pearl," Amethyst confessed in a goofy stage whisper.

Pearl shook her head, but held her tongue as she tiptoed past her parents' room.

"Amethyst, you're about to lose your battle," Garnet pointed out, her voice a notch lower and quieter than usual.

"Dammit," Amethyst swore.

"Shhh," Pearl said.

"Sorry, my bad," Amethyst whispered.

Pearl stepped off the last stair, thankful they were only mildly creaky. She nimbly darted across the kitchen and took a glass from the cupboard. 

"Hey Pearl?" Amethyst started.

Pearl set her glass under the faucet. "Yes, Am--?"

"Who are you talking to?"

Pearl jumped, shoulders rising up to her ears as she whirled around. "Oh! Yellow," Pearl said warily, "W-what are you doing up?" She tried to hide the phone behind her back.

Yellow's eyes glinted from within the dark dining room. "Nothing," she said firmly, "Who are you talking to?"

Pearl shrugged, feigning nonchalance as she drew her phone out of hiding. "Just... a friend. They needed help with math." Amethyst and Garnet had gone silent on the other end of the call, not wanting Pearl to get in trouble.

"Math. At this hour?" Yellow questioned. "And when did you get friends?"

Pearl's eyes narrowed at that dig. "Why are /you/ sitting here in the dark doing 'nothing'?" She turned the faucet on to fill up her glass before throwing, "Sounds awfully suspicious to me" over her shoulder.

She heard Yellow harrumph indignantly behind her. "Is it a crime to want some peace and quiet to think around here?"

Pearl placed her phone down, relieved to find that Amethyst and Garnet hadn't hung up yet, and took the bottle of ibuprofen down from a shelf. She downed the pill with a gulp of water and reclaimed her phone. "Good night Yellow," she said, turning quickly to escape back upstairs.

"Night," Yellow said sullenly.

Pearl dashed up the stairs and into her room, locking it behind her. "Whew, sorry about that," she said into the phone.

"S'okay. Who was that?" Garnet asked.

"My sister. The youngest," Pearl said, sinking into her blankets once again.

"She sounded like a real charmer," Amethyst said with a laugh.

"Ah yes," Pearl said, playing along, "Always so polite."

"So," Amethyst said after she recovered from her giggles, "I can't remember if you've already mentioned this, but are you the oldest?"

"No, middle child," Pearl replied. 

"Huh. What's it like having siblings?" Amethyst wondered.

"I guess that depends on who's your sibling," Pearl said.

"Yeah...." Amethyst trailed off, distracted by her game.

There was a lull in their conversation that Pearl felt no need to fill; besides the fact that she was falling asleep, it was nice just knowing they were there.

"We missed you at the study group the other day," Garnet said.

Pearl chuckled sleepily. "You met on a Friday?"

"Yes. Finals /are/ coming up in a few weeks... but it was mostly an excuse to hang out," Garnet confessed.

"Hmmm," Pearl murmured.

"You falling asleep on us, P?"

"It /is/ late. A quarter 'til two," Garnet said, "Should we let you rest?"

...

"Pearl?"

"She's out."

"I'm not sure if you can hear us, but good night, Pearl."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, dork."

\-----

Pearl sat at the table quietly nibbling a piece of toast, staring at the clock as she did so. She wanted nothing more than to get this over with so she could crawl back into bed; perhaps staying up so late talking to Amethyst and Garnet wasn't the wisest decision she had ever made, but she couldn't bring herself to regret it.

Blue entered the kitchen and flopped down in a chair with an exaggerated groan. 

Pearl's eyes darted around the room. "Are they upstairs?" She whispered.

Blue nodded. 

Pearl felt herself relax. "How do you do this every week?"

"I don't know." Blue laughed humorlessly. "God, I wish I were still in college. Enjoy it while you can, Pearl."

"I'm sorry we've left you alone here," Pearl said, brushing the bread crumbs off of her skirt.

"It's alright. It was a little weird with Yellow gone though," Blue said. "Now I'm the only one left for them to bother. Except on the weekends; Yellow is usually here."

Pearl grimaced. "Sorry about that. I just-- don't really want to see them. And I've been busy."

"Oh I've heard," Blue said, her smile sly. "Breaking doors, huh? How did that happen? And don't expect me to believe that falling excuse."

Pearl blushed at having been caught in her lie. She looked carefully around the room again to make sure there were no eavesdroppers. "Someone broke into my dorm," she confessed.

Blue's mouth hung open slightly for a moment. "Did they steal anything? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Pearl reassured her panicked sister. "I was a little roughed up but nothing too bad. The break in was a... misunderstanding."

"Well. Good," Blue said, "It's probably better you lied. They would've worried for weeks."

"Exactly," Pearl said. 

Blue tapped her fingers against the table, restless. "You know what I miss?"

"What?"

"Our house," Blue said.

"Me too," Pearl said with a sigh. "It was so strange driving here because I kept thinking I was going home, but I got here and the house was different, and then I remembered everything."

"It's not just the house that's different. The people are different. And the weather. Even the trees are different." Blue laughed bitterly. "First chance I get I'm going back."

"I can't blame you," Pearl agreed. She stiffened, hearing a door close from somewhere upstairs. Blue strolled away and peered in the fridge to act as if they hadn't been talking. To their relief, it was Yellow that slipped into the room instead of their parents.

"Yellow," Pearl greeted.

"Pearl," Yellow replied coolly. She leaned against the wall, and before Pearl or Blue could say anything else, she shifted her eyes very pointedly towards the doorway.

Pearl and Blue kept quiet, and not a minute later their parents marched in, their mother searching for her purse and their father tying his tie.

"It's in the living room, dear," he said.

Their mother left the room and they heard a muffled, "Ah ha! There it is!"

Pearl met Blue's eyes, or tried to at least (Blue had tilted her head down so that her bangs covered her eyes), surprised by their parents' good moods.

Their mother returned to the kitchen, her heels clicking against the tile, and paused to inspect her daughters. She straightened Yellow's collar, checked Blue over and nodded once, and then stood in front of Pearl, tut-tutting disapprovingly. "What are you wearing?"

Pearl looked down at her outfit, a simple button down shirt and a skirt. "Uhh, clothes?"

The glint in her mother's eyes was distinctly unamused, but it disappeared a second later. "Go change. You look like an orphan," her mother said with a laugh (as if it would lessen the blow to her insult).

Pearl bristled, but managed to make it back to her room without shooting back a biting retort like she so desperately wanted to. "Jesus Christ," she swore, unbuttoning her shirt, "It's like I'm fifteen again."

She placed the shirt and skirt on her bed and quickly put on different ones, this time not caring whether or not her outfit matched. Pearl looked at herself in the mirror, scowling darkly. With some difficulty, she forced her scowl into a more neutral expression and left the room.

"Better, Pearl," her mother said, "Now we have to go. Don't want to be late!"

They all piled into the car, which felt just as small as Pearl remembered, bunched up in the backseat with her two equally long-legged sisters. The drive was quiet, but Pearl liked it that way; it gave her time to stare out the window and think, or not think at all if she wanted.

But she did want to think, mostly about going back to her college this afternoon and hanging out with Garnet and Amethyst. She wasn't sure what counted as a date and what counted as just spending time together. Maybe there wasn't any difference. It was hard to tell since they hung out as friends before they started dating and they had continued to hang out in the same way after that. 

Pearl sighed. Maybe she shouldn't think too hard about these types of things.

Their new church seemed the same as any other church Pearl had been in. Same hushed atmosphere. Same church smell-- like mildew and holy water and old people. Same half shouted rhetoric spoken by the preacher.

She restrained a groan of complaint as the congregation stood yet again, this time to sing a hymn that, in Pearl's opinion, had some very bdsm undertones. She mumbled along anyway, wishing she could tune everything out as well as she knew Blue could. Pearl glanced over at Blue who went through the motions like an efficient robot, but after so many years together, Pearl could tell Blue was mentally checked out, somewhere else. 

The service dragged on painfully slow for Pearl. She spent it trying not to roll her eyes too hard at the sermon and trying not to cringe as a flood of unwelcome memories stirred in her mind. 

How many stupid things had she done in the name of religion? Heck, the first time she talked to Rose was an attempt to convert her. But then Rose had turned on the charm, sending Pearl's overconfident spiel into a stuttering, blushing mess, and Pearl went home and had a rather panicky breakdown about being so gay.

Fun times, Pearl thought grimly.

The sermon finally ended, and Pearl stood up and scooted out of the pew, eager to leave, when a large hand gripped her shoulder and steered her back around. "Not so fast. There's someone I want you to meet," her father said. Pearl tried to shrug his hand away, feeling uneasy with the touch. "Behave," he warned.

Her father dragged her to a small group of conversing men, the preacher included, and shook hands with a man that her father introduced as his boss. Pearl gulped, reaching out to shake his boss's hand with a greeting. She was pleased to find that she could still bullshit polite small talk well enough, but it was slightly hard to focus with her father's warning hand on her shoulder. 

"What's your major?" Her father's boss asked.

Pearl opened her mouth to reply when her mother appeared on her other side and answered for her. "Engineering, just like her father," her mother said, stroking Pearl's hair. 

Pearl resisted another urge to squirm away, her skin crawling. The affectionate touches were an act her parents were skilled in, and they only performed when they had someone to show off for, to prove they were a "loving" family. It had only taken Pearl a decade to figure that out.

Her mother and father were talking /for/ her now, which would have been fine with Pearl because she was feeling out of sorts, but they talked about her as if she weren't standing right there with them and they bragged about her in a way that made her feel like she was nothing more than a pureblood poodle that could do a lot of tricks. It was demeaning.

But maybe she shouldn't complain; someone with parents like Amethyst's would love to be bragged about. 

"Here," the preacher said, handing her a pamphlet and pulling her from her thoughts, "I heard from your parents you were having some trouble adjusting to college."

Pearl tried to push the confusion away from her expression (she had been in college for nearly two and a half years and was certainly adjusted by now; he must have meant her /new/ college) and accepted the pamphlet with a thank you.

"Just remember, you can always ask the Lord for guidance on resisting temptations," he said sagely.

Pearl nodded and smiled, hoping her eyes didn't show how much she was screaming on the inside.

The preacher seemed happy with her response, and then addressed the group to apologize for having to leave so soon.

Her parents wrapped the small talk up as well and finally left the group, releasing their holds on Pearl as they turned away. Pearl breathed a sigh of relief, but still felt like jumping out of her own skin and huddling in a corner somewhere. She hated it when her parents touched her, especially in that fake coddling way, and she knew that they knew, but they did it anyway.

Blue and Yellow trailed behind their parents and Pearl as they exited the chapel. Their mother futilely tried to start up a conversation on the walk to the car, but got one-worded answers in return; Blue was always quiet, Pearl was still unnerved, and even Yellow seemed unusually subdued.

As a result, their mother got into the car and slammed the car door shut with enough force to shake the vehicle. Their father followed in silence, breathing in a way that Pearl could only describe as "ticked off." 

The car ride was tense, a dread filled period of waiting for their parents to finally speak and break open the figurative dam. Pearl leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, taking slow breaths to calm herself. Part of her wanted to bolt out of the car and hide, and she wasn't sure if that desire came from the earlier unwanted touching or the current situation. Both probably.

"I finally have all my children together and they don't want to talk to me," their mother began. 

Pearl felt Blue sigh heavily beside her.

"Do we annoy you that much?" Their mother twisted in her seat to look at them. 

Pearl kept her eyes firmly glued to the window and internally squirmed in the silent pause.

"Well?" Their mother prompted angrily.

More silence.

"It's no use," their father declared.

"We gave up /everything/ for you girls," their mother hissed, "And this is how you repay us."

For the remainder of the car ride, Pearl wrung her hands together and tried to swallow back the guilt and fear swirling in her gut. When they pulled into the driveway, she was once again jarred by seeing the new house instead of the childhood home she had been expecting. Pearl pushed back the homesickness and escaped to her bedroom, locking the door and then quickly throwing her church clothes off in favor of sweatpants and a tee shirt. 

Pearl gathered her blankets around her shoulders and curled up in her bed, pressing herself into the corner of the wall and numbly wondering how she was going to deal with the unpleasant cocktail of emotions she had downed. Despite that thought, she did feel a little better in her corner.

Her phone buzzed. "AHHHHHHHHH," the text from Blue read.

Pearl chuckled tiredly. "Yeah, I know," she sent back.

"I seriously need to move out. Do you know anyone that pays well for organs?"

"Not really," Pearl replied quickly. Her eyes fell on the abandoned pamphlet on the floor. "Hey," she texted Blue, "Why in the world are they talking about me with the preacher?"

A minute passed as Pearl waited for the reply. "That brochure thing he gave you? Yeah, I should've warned you. They think the reason you haven't been coming home is because you're out partying. They also think you threw a party and that's how your door broke. Heard them talking about it. I guess they went to the preacher about it?"

"Guess so. I bet you the brochure is filled with warnings about premarital sex and the dangers of critical thinking," Pearl texted. "I'm so bitter," she added, "Sorry."

"Nah, me too," Blue replied, "We're a bunch of filthy backsliders."

\-----

Pearl was pleased to see her door had been repaired as she stumbled into her dorm room. She was also pleased to see her couch and immediately fell into it, dropping her bag on the floor, exhausted. Exhausted not from the hour long drive, but from her parents' change in attitude as they saw her out the door. Their kind goodbyes and wishes and worries were enough to make Pearl feel guilty for ever thinking badly of them. Again.

She put her face in her hands and groaned.

"PEARL!" Amethyst called gleefully, bursting through her unlocked door and dashing to the couch.

"Amethyst you should knock," Garnet scolded, but followed her anyway.

"I wasn't doing anything too scandalous," Pearl said, raising her head from her hands, "But yes, please knock next time."

Amethyst pouted comically for a moment. "Alright, sorry P."

"It's fi-- Amethyst!" Pearl yelped as Amethyst leapt up onto her lap and engulfed her in a hug.

"I missed you," Amethyst said sheepishly. "The study group just wasn't the same without your nagging," she added quickly.

Pearl rolled her eyes and chuckled at Amethyst's reluctance to admit her feelings. "It's barely been two days," she teased.

"Shuddup," Amethyst mumbled into Pearl's shoulder.

Pearl laughed, running a hand through Amethyst's hair. "...But I missed you too. Both of you," she said, looking over to Garnet. 

Garnet smiled and sat down beside the two. "I'm glad," she said simply. 

They were content to sit like that, watching the colors of sunset stream in through the shuttered windows. Pearl sighed heavily and rested her head against Amethyst, who was still in her lap and clinging to her. "I'm so tired," Pearl mumbled.

"I take it we're not going out tonight?" Amethyst asked.

"You two can, but I'm not feeling up for much," Pearl said. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. We can stay in tonight," Garnet said, stretching out to wrap her arm around Pearl's shoulders.

"Thanks," Pearl said, relaxing into the touch.

"So I'm guessing your family did a number on ya?" Amethyst asked.

"Yes," Pearl groaned. "My parents--" She said the words like they were curses. "They're just so... confusing." She threw a hand into the air to gesture along with her frustrations. "They flip out and yell over some tiny detail one moment-- and my mother and her stupid guilt trips-- and then they're being so nice and I feel bad for being upset. Am I just too sensitive? Is this normal? I don't know anymore."

Pearl clutched her head, now staring across the room with a dazed expression. Amethyst and Garnet watched her wilt before their eyes. "I'm-- I'm not explaining this well.... I don't know /how/ to explain this, or them, the way they act. There's something not right, but...."

She bowed her head and brought her hand down to the armrest, her nails digging into her palm. "....I'm sure there are people who would love to have my parents and here I am being silly or-- or overreacting, and I--." Pearl rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't-- I'm rambling."

"No, hey, I get it," Amethyst said, ducking under Pearl's head to meet her eyes. "That's actually sorta what I think with my parents. It's not exactly the same, but it's like, sure they're decent to me, but they left their kid alone all day in an empty fucking house, and that's kinda shitty, but then again--" A shadow of doubt flashed through Amethyst's eyes. "--it was because they were working so they could pay for me, and then I don't know anymore either."

Pearl raised her head, staring at Amethyst intently with something that looked like hope in her eyes. Garnet watched the two, a quiet smile on her face.

Amethyst coughed nervously and continued, "And I wish I could hate them, you know? I mean, I kinda already do but not all the way 'cause sometimes they're decent. I wish they weren't though, then I could hate them."

"You understand," Pearl breathed.

Amethyst nodded earnestly, tightening her hold around Pearl.

"You believe me?" Pearl asked.

"Yeah, I believe ya, P," Amethyst said, "Besides, what reason have you got to lie about that?"

"I don't know." Pearl nestled her face into Amethyst's shoulder. "But oh, the things they say, Amethyst," she murmured. Amethyst combed her fingers through Pearl's hair, offering unspoken condolences. 

The unwelcome memory of her mother stroking her hair earlier in the day came to Pearl's mind, and she was terribly grateful that it was Amethyst with her now instead of her mother; Amethyst who actually listened to what she had to say instead of her mother who only heard what she wanted to hear and snapped when she heard what she didn't.

"I believe you," Amethyst said again, kissing the top of her head.

Pearl let out a short laugh of relief, her eyes brimming with tears as a warm validating feeling settled in her chest. "Thank you," she whispered, pulling away from Amethyst's shoulder. She and Amethyst both stilled, the movement having brought their faces much too near to each other.

Pearl swallowed, her eyes flickering down to Amethyst's slightly parted lips. She found herself moving closer unthinkingly, but paused just as she was about to reach Amethyst's lips with her own. Amethyst made a small noise of disapproval and tilted her head, pushing forward to end the minuscule space between them. 

Pearl let her eyes close as her lips were pressed against Amethyst's. 

It was clumsy at first, with Amethyst's chapped lips working too hard against Pearl's and with Pearl's long nose smushed against Amethyst's cheek. Pearl turned her head a bit more while Amethyst eased up, and the kiss became smooth, effortless. 

Pearl's body became hyper-aware of Amethyst settled in her lap, and Amethyst lightly clutching her hair, and Amethyst's full lips moving so tantalizingly with her own. 

An unusual (for Pearl) sense of peace spread within her, and for once she was content to simply exist in the moment here with Amethyst. There was no upsetting mother or enabling father to fret about, no finals to study for-- there was nothing she could do but kiss Amethyst and let her thoughts drift away.

Amethyst nipped gently at Pearl's bottom lip, teasing, and Pearl couldn't help the shiver that crawled up her spine in response. Amethyst's lips stretched into a grin at that and Pearl pulled away, finding that she was struggling to hold back a slow smile as well.

Amethyst's eyes seemed as though they were struggling not to fall shut again, but she kept them halfway open, grinning lazily and leaning heavily into Pearl. "Huh. You're not too bad," she said.

"....I should hope so," Pearl murmured with a content sigh, untangling her hand from Amethyst's hair to touch her own still buzzing lips. 

"So uh, you wanna do that again?" Amethyst asked.

Garnet's form caught the corner of Pearl's eye and Pearl turned to her, suddenly wondering whether she should offer an apology for focusing so much on Amethyst and not on her. 

Garnet smiled and shook her head, as if she had read her mind. "Don't be sorry. We /are/ allowed to do these sorts of things now." Garnet laughed and admitted, "I'm actually surprised by how much fun it is to watch."

"Perv," Amethyst declared with a chuckle. 

"Are you sure?" Pearl asked, voice soft. "I don't want you feeling left out."

"I'm not. Trust me, I'd tell you if I did, Pearl," Garnet reassured her.

Pearl studied Garnet for a moment, searching for any evidence that suggested Garnet was feeling contrary to what she had claimed, but thankfully her investigation came up empty. Pearl nodded to Garnet, relieved.

"You gonna kiss me or not?" Amethyst teased.

Pearl chuckled and attached her hands to Amethyst's collar, tugging her forward to meet her lips. This kiss was more eager, faster. Pearl's head was spinning and pleasantly fuzzy by the time Amethyst gently pushed against her shoulder, encouraging her to lay down. 

Pearl sighed contently out her nose as she eased back, making a muffled noise of surprise when she came to rest on top of Garnet's thighs. Garnet chuckled lowly from somewhere above her.

Amethyst pulled back, starry-eyed and panting slightly. She leaned forward to leave a peck against the tip of Pearl's nose. "Hiya," Amethyst murmured.

Pearl blinked, still breathless.

Amethyst laughed heartily and moved to nuzzle herself under Pearl's chin, resting there.

Garnet brushed her hands through both Pearl's and Amethyst's hair, humming slowly. Pearl met her eyes (or at least she thought she did) to exchange a quiet smile. In response, Garnet added a comforting pressure the next time her fingers passed through Pearl's hair, and Pearl's eyes fluttered closed at that.

She could probably handle anything, Pearl thought, as long as she could come back home to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the slight religion bashing. I mean, if religion works for you, go for it, but it just doesn't work for Pearl anymore, and people tend to be bitter after something like that. 
> 
> You've properly met Pearl's parents now. You haven't seen all aspects of them but you have the gist of what they're like. God, they make me tired.  
> I tried to write them as realistically as possible, but I'm afraid that, naturally, if you've never met anyone like that then they're probably going to come off as unrealistic. But I tried.
> 
> And I /know/ I wrote Pearl's response to them accurately. You could blame the gaslighting for most of poor Pearl's confusion. Whew, I should have named this chapter "Welcome to Emotional Abuse."
> 
> On a brighter note, that kissing scene was very fun to write. And don't worry, Garnet will get her turn, haha.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: LGBT slurs.

Pearl startled and nearly dropped her book as warm arms encircled her waist from behind. A low chuckle over her shoulder gave away who the culprit was. "Garnet," Pearl said, sighing and leaning back into the taller woman, "You scared me."

"Did I really?" Garnet rested her chin against Pearl's shoulder.

"Just a little," Pearl said. She closed her book and set it on top of another row of books so that her hands were free to clasp over Garnet's.

"I'm sorry," Garnet said, "I'll warn you next time."

"Thanks," Pearl said. It was quiet in their secluded part of the library, except for what sounded like stifled laughter from Lapis and Amethyst half a room away. "So uh, did you need something? Or did you just seek me out to cuddle?" Pearl asked, tilting her head back against Garnet to gaze at the ceiling.

"Mm. You were gone for quite a while. But the cuddling was a bonus," Garnet said, her lips quirking into a smile.

"I got distracted," Pearl explained. She took Garnet's arms still curled around her waist and separated them, turning so that she faced Garnet. "But," she said, her face flushed, "It looks like something else is distracting me now."

"Oh?" Garnet said, flashing a grin that had Pearl's heart stuttering.

Pearl found she couldn't hold up her flirtatious charade any longer and looked away, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "Sometimes it's very hard to keep a cool head around you and Amethyst."

"I feel the same," Garnet said, hanging her arms loosely around Pearl's shoulders.

"I'm not sure I believe you," Pearl quipped, "You always seem so self-assured."

"It's a little hard to express things at times," Garnet admitted, reaching down to take one of Pearl's hands. She kissed the back of Pearl's hand and then pressed it to her chest, just over her heart.

Pearl blushed even harder if possible at that, but was surprised and strangely relieved to discover that Garnet's heart was racing just as fast as her own. "Oh," Pearl murmured, reveling in the warmth beneath her palm. She cleared her throat and slipped her hand out of Garnet's grasp to trail it hesitantly up the woman's neck, tracing under her jawline.

Garnet's breath hitched, and she leaned down closer to Pearl; Pearl wished, not for the first time, that she could see Garnet's eyes-- how did they look right now?

"Can I?" Garnet breathed.

Pearl's gaze wandered languidly to Garnet's lips, her mind now pleasantly ensnared in the scent of mocha and mint that Garnet had just exhaled. "Hmm?" Pearl hummed.

"Can I kiss you?" Garnet elaborated.

Pearl choked a little in surprise but recovered enough to reply a simple, "Yes."

Garnet chuckled at her reaction before pressing their lips together. Pearl's eyes fluttered shut and she melted into Garnet's form, her hands coming to rest daringly against Garnet's hips. She wasn't quite sure where the sudden confidence was coming from, but something about kissing Garnet felt incredibly empowering.

Garnet's kiss was steady and strong, but gentler than Pearl expected (having more than once seen Garnet and Amethyst make out in a way that reminded Pearl of playful roughhousing).

"Gah!" Peridot squeaked.

Dazed, Pearl and Garnet parted, and after seeing that Peridot had run off, they exchanged the equivalent of a shrug and went in for another kiss. They didn't get much longer before Peridot returned.

"See?!" Peridot yelped.

Pearl and Garnet reluctantly drew apart once again. "What, Peridot?" Garnet asked, sighing heavily.

Amethyst and Peridot stood at the end of the aisle of bookshelves with radically different expressions on their faces. Amethyst laughed and clapped Peridot on the back while Peridot muttered under her breath and tugged at her hair. 

"Thanks Peri. I woulda missed their first kiss if it weren't for you," she said, throwing Pearl and Garnet a wink. Pearl giggled.

Peridot groaned and threw her arms up. "No! Amethyst, you don't get it. You--" She clenched her fists and marched to Pearl and Garnet, bodily forcing herself between them. 

"Hey," Pearl protested.

"Peridot, what's wrong?" Garnet asked, voice dangerously low and arms crossed.

"What's wrong is that Amethyst has been nothing but good to you," Peridot grit out. "And this is how you repay her?!" Peridot vainly attempted to shove Garnet off balance, but it was like trying to push down a mountain. "Cheater!"

Pearl almost laughed as understanding dawned on her, but it died in her throat when she caught sight of Lapis's witheringly cold stare boring into her.

"Wait, wait, calm down," Amethyst said, pulling Peridot off of Garnet. "She's not cheating, Peridot."

Peridot stopped struggling and went quiet for a moment. "I-- I don't understand."

Amethyst grimaced and rubbed her neck. "Yeah, sorry. I forgot we hadn't told you and Lapis yet. But uh, we're dating." She motioned to herself and Garnet and Pearl. "All three of us."

Pearl nodded in agreement, eager to clear this misunderstanding up. 

"Oh," Peridot stated.

"That's... different," Lapis said.

"I'm sorry we didn't mention it soo--" Pearl trailed off into a series of terrified nonsensical noises when her gaze drifted past the others and landed on a familiar tuft of very yellow hair at a nearby table.

"Yellow," Pearl mouthed.

"Are you having a stroke?" Amethyst laughed.

Pearl couldn't bring herself to answer, her own horrified stare bewitched by Yellow's stunned gaze. She wondered how much Yellow had heard. Enough, if Yellow's appalled expression said anything.

With some difficulty, Pearl managed to uproot her fear-paralyzed feet and stepped towards Yellow's seat. Seeing this, Yellow yelped, tripped on the way out of her chair, and made a dash for the stairs. Pearl felt herself running after her before she had consciously made the decision to do so.

"Yellow!" Pearl caught Yellow's shoulder just before she could escape through the stairwell.

"WHAT?!" Yellow snarled, whirling around and wrenching her shoulder free.

"Please don't tell," Pearl begged, panting slightly from their chase.

"I really should, Pearl. This is-- This is wrong." Yellow's eyes darted over to the group Pearl had left behind, now watching the altercation quietly from afar.

"It's not just the fact that you're..." Yellow's voice dropped to a hissing whisper. "...a lesbian now, but you're dating /two/ of them."

"What's it matter?" Pearl snapped, sudden fury surging through her limbs at Yellow's words. "At least I'm happy, unlike you; just miserable and obedient."

Yellow's eyes narrowed darkly. "What are you insinuating, Pearl?"

Pearl ignored the question. "Our parents aren't always right, you know. You shouldn't take their word as gospel," she said.

"You think I don't know that?!" Yellow barked with a hoarse, empty laugh. "....Fuck you," she whispered, tears beading in her eyes.

"Yellow," Pearl groaned and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Please, let's just... talk about this."

Yellow's mouth curled up in a grimace as she bluntly shoved past Pearl to continue down the stairs. "Dyke," she spat over her shoulder.

Pearl numbly watched Yellow leave, all too aware of the dreadful anticipation hanging from a thread above her. How long would it be until she received a call from her parents?

"Hey," Amethyst said gently, as if approaching a skittish animal.

"Hi," Pearl said, still gazing down at the stairs in an unfocused way. She felt Garnet move her away from the steps and into a chair. Amethyst sat down next to her and Garnet leaned against the table's edge.

"So, uh, on a scale of one to ten, how fucked are you?" Amethyst asked.

"About an eight," Pearl decided, pressing the palms of her hands into her eyes in an attempt to quell the nervousness settling in her gut.

"What'll happen if your parents find out?" Garnet asked.

"I-- I don't know. Nothing good. Hopefully I'm overreacting," Pearl said, laughing uncomfortably.

"They're not gonna, like, beat you or something, are they?" Amethyst asked, fearfully.

"No, no." Pearl waved a hand. "They've never been very physical, thank god."

"That's good," Amethyst said.

"Yeah...." Pearl coughed and pulled at her collar, overheated. "I'm sorry. I've practically forced you two back into the closet with me." She laughed shakily. "And I'm almost twenty-one; it's a little silly for me to be so afraid of my parents. I'm very sorry." 

"Aw, P," Amethyst murmured.

Garnet ducked down and took Pearl's face in her hands. "These things are hard. There's no need to apologize, Pearl. It'll be alright."

Pearl whimpered and looked away from Garnet's unseen gaze, feeling her eyes sting with unshed tears.

Amethyst nearly knocked Pearl off her chair with the force of her hug. "Pearl, you're killin' me here," she said, peppering the woman's face in quick kisses.

Pearl gave a watery laugh and clumsily dragged Garnet down with them.

\-----

"I can't believe we got kicked out of the library," Pearl lamented again.

"We /did/ get a little loud," Garnet said, ruffling Pearl's hair. "What board game do you want to play?"

Pearl chose one at random, not really caring about the game-- she had been breaking into a sweat off and on within the past hour, anxiety and dread thrumming under her fingers whenever her thoughts returned to the inevitable future call from her parents-- and she had a feeling Garnet and Amethyst didn't really care about the board game either, but were instead trying to keep her distracted. 

Pearl couldn't seem to express her gratitude, but she figured they knew anyway.

Her phone buzzed.

Amethyst and Garnet stilled and looked towards Pearl's phone. Pearl picked the phone up, clearing her throat nervously.

A text from Yellow. "I won't," it read.

Pearl let out a relieved breath and slumped into the couch. "Yellow says she won't tell."

Garnet visibly relaxed while Amethyst broke into a cheer.

"You did all that worrying for nothing," Amethyst said, punching Pearl lightly on the shoulder.

"Yeah," Pearl said, glancing down at the text one more time, "I guess I did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. My sleep's been off kilter lately and that seems to be affecting things.
> 
> But no matter; I finished the chapter! Let me tell ya, Yellow is super fun to write. I want to hug her. Hah. Anyway, thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drink responsibly, friends.

"Dude, why didn't you tell us earlier? We would've got you something!" Amethyst said.

Pearl shrugged, busy rewriting some notes in her binder. "Slipped my mind. Besides, I would rather you didn't spend money on me."

"Well, happy birthday, Pearl," Garnet said, clapping her on the shoulder, "You can drink now."

"I can," Pearl chirped, sitting up a little straighter in her seat. 

"We should hang out tonight," Amethyst said. She flopped down on Garnet's lap like a large cat and stretched. "If you can bear to stop studying for a while that is," Amethyst added quietly.

Pearl sighed and set her pen aside, wringing out her cramping hand. "I know it's been... busy the last few days, but I can't just stop studying, Amethyst. I have two more finals."

"Don't stop. Just take a break," Garnet urged. Her voice softened. "You work far too hard."

Pearl paused, sorely tempted, but she shook her head firmly. "Not tonight. I have my last final tomorrow morning; you can have me all day after that, promise."

Garnet frowned. "Don't do anything you don't want to. You can tell us off, you know."

"Oh, no," Pearl said quickly, "No, I want to hang out with you two, believe me, but I can't ever seem to relax during finals week and to be honest--" She chortled with enough discomfort to allude to self-deprecating humor. "--I'm no fun when I'm like this. I'd rather hang out tomorrow when I can actually enjoy myself."

"Psh, nah, you're lots of fun, P," Amethyst reassured her, mussing Pearl's hair until it stuck up on one side.

"Er, thank you, Amethyst. I'm glad you think so," Pearl said, fighting back a blush as she made a weak attempt to fix her hair. 

\-----

Pearl broke into a sly grin as she advanced upon Garnet. The footsteps of passing students muffled the sound of her own tiptoed steps not too far behind her girlfriend. 

Girlfriend? Pearl's thoughts tripped over the word. 

Is that what they were now? Or was it too soon? 

Pearl shook the tangent from her mind, noticing Garnet was slipping out of her reach. With a few leaping bounds, she caught up and then smoothly strolled forward to keep pace beside Garnet.

Garnet tilted her head to glance at her and then looked forward again, only to do a double take, whipping her head back around to Pearl, mouth agape. "When did you get here?" She asked, mirth and astonishment coloring her tone.

Pearl couldn't stop the laugh that erupted from her at the sight of Garnet's bewilderment. "Ah, just now actually," she said once her giggles had subsided.

"You've been taking lessons from Amethyst, I see," Garnet noted.

"Mayyyybe," Pearl admitted.

"How'd you exam go?"

"Good," Pearl said, "I know I missed at least two, but I'm just happy it's over."

"I'm glad," Garnet said, coming to a stop before her classroom with a sigh. "Wish me luck."

Pearl reached up to leave a chaste kiss on Garnet's lips and pulled back before Garnet could respond. "Good luck," she whispered, the hint of a smirk on her face.

Garnet paused for a moment, stunned, before breaking into a smile and clearing her throat. "Thank you, Pearl."

"Anytime," Pearl said, "I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course."

They parted ways-- Garnet to her final exam and Pearl down the hallway and out the building. 

She winced at the cold and pulled the collar of her coat up to her nose. Much to Pearl's displeasure, December here was just as cold as she feared it would be, and it was especially bothersome for someone like her-- prone to getting cold easily. 

But it did give her an excuse to cuddle with Amethyst and Garnet, so she found she couldn't complain.

Pearl ducked inside the business building to escape the piercing wind. If she remembered correctly, Amethyst would be just finishing up her math exam in this building around this time. But knowing Amethyst, she probably rushed through it and was getting into some sort of mischief in the hallways.

Pearl set off to find her, checking empty rooms and corners, before spotting her on the second floor, splayed out on a chair in an tucked away alcove. Pearl frowned, seeing that Amethyst was not causing mischief like she had expected, but was sitting very dejectedly in a dimly lit part of the building.

"Amethyst," Pearl greeted, taking off her bag and sitting beside her. 

Amethyst raised a hand and blew away the hair covering her face. "Hey P."

"How did your final go?"

Amethyst groaned loudly. "I can't tell. I either aced it or flunked it."

"I'm sure you didn't flunk it; we went over everything very thoroughly," Pearl said. Her voice took on a scolding quality. "Unless you weren't paying attention even after I reminded you half a million times."

Amethyst grumbled and slipped deeper into her chair.

Pearl grimaced, realizing that that wasn't exactly the best thing to say. "I'm sorry, Amethyst," she said, "...Sometimes I speak without thinking."

"No, you're right," Amethyst said, frustration edging her words. "I'm always goofing off. I shoulda paid more attention."

"Amethyst...." Pearl internally swore at herself for making Amethyst feel bad, guilt laying heavily on her shoulders. She shoved it away and moved to kneel in front of her, putting her crossed arms on Amethyst's knees and resting her head on them. 

Amethyst's breath caught, but she avoided Pearl's gaze. 

"Listen," Pearl said, "I know this is probably going to sound weird coming from me, but there's nothing you can do about it now. No use worrying."

"Heh, yeah, you don't practice what you preach, do ya, Miss Worrywart?" Despite the joking tone of Amethyst's words, Pearl knew Amethyst was still upset; after these past few months, if Pearl had learned anything about Amethyst it was that Amethyst was prone to hiding her feelings in favor of appearing nonchalant.

"You were getting all the example problems right," Pearl continued, "I'm sure you did fine, Amethyst."

"Yeah, yeah, why are we still talking about this?" Amethyst huffed, flicking Pearl in the nose lightly.

Pearl squinted her eyes at Amethyst and rubbed her nose. "I'm trying to help you stop worrying."

"Pfft." Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Really Pearl, I quit worrying yeeeears ago."

Pearl smiled, seeing that Amethyst's mood had picked up. She idly played with the edge of Amethyst's fraying pocket, not missing the blush that bloomed on Amethyst's cheeks. "Sure you did."

"I did," Amethyst said. "And why are you in my lap again?"

Pearl looked up, hiding her grin behind her forearm. "Do you want me to move?" She asked innocently.

Amethyst turned her head away. "....No."

\-----

"Chug! Chug! Chug!"

"I will /not/ be chugging this, Amethyst," Pearl said, eyeing the beer bottle in her own hand skeptically.

"Then try it! Don't keep us in suspense," Amethyst said, leaning forward eagerly to watch.

Pearl covered her face, groaning. "Don't stare. I'll probably end up choking."

Garnet chuckled and pulled Amethyst out of Pearl's space. "Alright, we won't watch. Right Amethyst?"

"Aww, fine," Amethyst said, tilting her head up to stare at the ceiling instead of Pearl. Garnet leaned over to press a kiss to Amethyst's forehead, grinning when Amethyst squirmed.

Pearl fondly watched their exchange before drawing her attention back to the beer. She hesitantly brought the bottle to her lips and took a sip, her face screwing up immediately. "Agh, eck, it's kind of... bitter," Pearl said through a grimace.

Amethyst roared out a laugh at Pearl's revolted expression. "Geez, hah! We even got you a fruity kind of one," she said, taking a sip of her own beer.

"Nothing about that tasted fruity," Pearl deadpanned.

Garnet shrugged. "It's an acquired taste."

Pearl took another drink just to see if it was as bad as she remembered.

Yep.

"I actually expected it to taste a lot worse," she admitted.

"Well I'm glad we didn't disappoint you too badly," Garnet teased.

Pearl shook her head and laughed. "As if you could."

"Oh no," Amethyst said with an pretend gasp, "She has high standards for us."

"Would you like me to lower them?"

"Make 'em more like middle-ish," Amethyst said.

Garnet set her empty bottle to the side and moved off of the couch to lay down in the floor beside Pearl. "We're not perfect people." She lifted her head up to address Pearl. "Mind if I prop my feet up on you?"

"What?" Pearl asked dumbly, for a moment not comprehending the rapid topic switch. "Oh, yes, that's fine." She moved her hands out of the way to allow Garnet to rest her legs across Pearl's lap, stretching out fully. 

Pearl didn't know what to do with her hands after that, so she fiddled with the wrapper around her beer bottle and took another drink. She shuddered at the taste and put the bottle down.

"Dude," Amethyst said with a chuckle, "If it's that bad why do you keep drinking it?"

"I was hoping it would get better," Pearl said ruefully. Without the bottle to distract her hands Pearl decided to risk putting them back in her lap, over Garnet's shins.

Garnet emitted a short hum at that but didn't complain. 

They fell into silence; perhaps they were falling asleep-- it was late-- or succumbing to more somber thoughts at the realization that the day was nearly over. 

"Damn, it's gonna be a long break-- and I don't mean that in a good way," Amethyst said, echoing Pearl's thoughts.

"I know," Pearl whispered, looking down at her hands over Garnet's legs.

"You're sure your parents won't let you visit us?" Garnet asked.

"They'll certainly dig their heels in, but I'll try," Pearl said, sighing heavily, "Sometimes they listen to logic."

Amethyst rolled over onto her stomach on the couch, hanging one arm off the edge to grasp Garnet's hand below her. "You should just do what you want, screw them. Your parents are kinda controlling, you know?"

Pearl grimaced. "Easier said than done. Besides, they have their reasons."

"They take it too far," Amethyst insisted.

Pearl hung her head. "I agree."

"There's always Skype," Garnet said, "If we can't hang out together."

"Of course," Pearl murmured. She rested her head back against the couch, frowning at the ceiling. "Let's-- Let's talk about something else. I don't want to be so sad before we leave."

"Gotcha, P. Sorry. I didn't mean to make this gloomy."

"No, it's alright," Pearl said, "I was probably going to bring it up anyway."

"So... what should we do?" Garnet wondered.

"Uhh...." Amethyst thought for a moment before sitting up with a jubilant, "Ah ha! I know. Come here, Pearl." 

Pearl squeaked, finding Amethyst's arms wrapped around her in what felt like a sloppy headlock, tugging her back slightly. "My neck does not move that way, Amethyst," she said, batting Amethyst's hands away.

"Sorry, sorry. Got excited," Amethyst said, wiggling closer to where Pearl leaned against the couch instead of dragging Pearl backwards. She put her head next to Pearl's to whisper in her ear, long hair forming a curtain around them.

"You shoooouuuld... get on top of Garnet," Amethyst whispered deviously.

Pearl sputtered, escaping Amethyst's hair to glance at Garnet, who was now propped up on her elbows, watching the two curiously.

"Why?" Pearl whispered.

Amethyst shrugged. "It would make things interesting."

Pearl studied Amethyst suspiciously. "Not that I don't trust you, but how do I know this isn't going to get me decked or something?"

"I wouldn't do that to ya," Amethyst said, "And neither would Garnet."

Pearl didn't say anything, contemplating.

"You don't have to of course, but I think you kinda want to," Amethyst said, flashing her a knowing grin, "So I'll give you a push: I dare ya."

"Really, Amethyst? Are we in middle school?" 

"Yep! I double dare ya," Amethyst said, pulling away from Pearl and sitting up on the couch, signaling the end of their whispered conversation.

"What are you two scheming?" Garnet mused.

Pearl sighed, already feeling the rising blush on her cheeks. Amethyst was right in her assumption that Pearl wanted to do this-- granted, she only wanted to do it because Amethyst had put the idea in her head.

"Don't... freak out," Pearl said, shifting Garnet's legs off her lap so she could sit up on her knees.

"Why would I freak out?" Garnet asked, amused.

"I don't know." Pearl shot Amethyst a look over her shoulder. "Just in case."

"Chill, P," Amethyst said with a laugh, "You're psyching yourself out."

Pearl blew a puff of air out, steeling herself before crawling over Garnet and--

Slipping.

Pearl's arms slid out from underneath her and she fell, her rather boney chin ramming into Garnet's abdomen.

"Omph!" Garnet startled, wincing. 

"I'm so sorry!" Pearl said, shakily pushing herself up on her elbows. "Are you alright?"

Amethyst fell into a fit of laughter somewhere behind them.

"H-- hah," Garnet said breathily.

Pearl gave her a moment to recover, another apology on her lips.

"Yeah, I'm alright," Garnet said finally. She rose up slightly, so that their noses almost touched. "What exactly were you trying to do?"

"Oh! Uh, well--"

"I dared her to get on top of you," Amethyst supplied.

"Oh? And what was that supposed to accomplish?" Garnet asked.

"I was hoping you two would make out, but I gotta admit, that was pretty good too, Pearl." Amethyst shot Pearl a wink and a Cheshire Cat grin.

Pearl grumbled and pressed her heated face into Garnet's shoulder, laying down fully against her.

"Hmm. Truth or dare, Amethyst?"

"What?"

"We're playing truth or dare now, aren't we?"

"Uh, yeah okay. Why not? Dare!" 

Garnet hummed again, the vibrations from her chest tickling Pearl's ear. "What do you think, Pearl? What should we have her do?"

Pearl could have sworn she heard Amethyst gulp and she stifled a laugh at that in Garnet's shoulder before raising her head. "I'm not sure," she said, looking Amethyst over as she thought up a way to exact her revenge. "Take off... one of your clothes."

Amethyst's eyes widened. "Wow Pearl, I didn't know you had it in you, but...." She shrugged and promptly took off her shirt. "... A dare is a dare."

Pearl made a garbled noise of surprise, clapping a hand over her eyes. She had expected Amethyst to protest and squirm, find a way out of it; she didn't think Amethyst would be so quick to accept it. "You could've taken off a sock, Amethyst!"

"But I didn't want to take off a sock," Amethyst said, the smirk apparent in her voice.

"Oh, I should have known," Pearl groaned.

Amethyst patted Pearl on the back, chuckling. "There, there, you easily flustered thing. Anyway, truth or dare, G?"

"Dare."

Pearl moved off of Garnet to give her room for whatever Amethyst had in store for Garnet. She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, trying to ignore the cold she felt without Garnet's warmth and steady breaths under her.

"Alright, I dare you to let me take off your glasses," Amethyst said, already reaching to switch the lamp off.

Garnet sat up, beckoning with a finger. "So risqué," she teased, "Go ahead."

Amethyst sprawled off the couch in her excitement and kneeled beside Garnet. She removed Garnet's glasses with a reverence uncharacteristic to her and set them delicately on the arm of the couch. "You have the prettiest eyes," she breathed, tracing under Garnet's eyes with a thumb.

Garnet chuckled under her breath as she took Amethyst's hand in her own and kissed it. "I believe you've said that before."

"And I'll say it again, dork," Amethyst said softly, into Garnet's lips this time.

Pearl hid her blush in her knees. She was glad, so glad to see how much they loved each other, but a selfish, fickle part of her wondered if she had been forgotten.

Amethyst and Garnet pulled apart only to press close together again, whispering something. Garnet's eyes flickering up to meet Pearl's; Pearl returned an uneasy smile, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Alright, truth or dare, P?"

"....Dare?"

"We dare you to come here," Garnet said, extending one of her arms to welcome Pearl in.

Pearl's mouth curled into a smile as she scooted forward under Garnet's arm. "You could have just asked, you know."

"This way was funner," Amethyst protested, slinging an arm around Pearl's waist.

\-----

"Pearl."

"Mm?"

"Happy belated birthday," Garnet said.

Pearl chuckled sleepily, tangling her hand with Garnet's. 

"Yeah, ditto," Amethyst said, her breath grazing Pearl's bare shoulder blades.

"Thank you," Pearl whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yep, I implied that they did the do. I imagine it was as awkward as any other first time-- Amethyst probably elbowed one of them in the face at one point-- but whatever, they had fun.   
> And they weren't drunk, so don't worry about all that.
> 
> I'm going back to college next week. Hah. To tell you the truth, I've been out of school the entire time I've been writing this, so I'm not sure how school is gonna affect things. Updates are probably going to be inconsistent, slow. I apologize in advance! 
> 
> And thank you guys for being so awesome. I never expected to get so much support and I'm very grateful. 
> 
> Have a good day/night, guys!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually had this chapter written for a while but I wanted to get well into the next one so you guys aren't waiting too long in between these. Usually it wouldn't matter, but this chapter just... isn't happy, and I didn't want to leave you with something sad for so long. I try to avoid ending on sad points, but I guess it's unavoidable sometimes.
> 
> But yeah, warning for, like, a bunch of stuff.

"Look who finally rejoined the land of the living," Pearl's mother singsonged. 

Pearl trudged into the kitchen with a less than enthusiastic "Good morning." She winced a moment later, watching her mother apprehensively in case she mistook her tiredness for sass. 

"You need to go to bed earlier," her mother continued.

Pearl breathed a sigh of relief and resumed her scavenge for breakfast-- even if it was one in the afternoon. She took a bowl from the cupboard and poured out some cereal.

"I know. I'll go to bed earlier tonight," Pearl said, fully aware that she had no intention of doing so. She returned the milk to the fridge. "Dad at work?"

"Yes. Where else would he be?"

Pearl shrugged, cradling her bowl of cereal and shifting on her feet, eager to leave the kitchen and this conversation.

By the time her mother ended the discussion, Pearl's cereal had gone halfway soggy. She sighed as she sat down on an armchair in the unlit living room, and began to halfheartedly eat her sad excuse for a breakfast cereal.

"You look like shit," Yellow snickered.

Pearl raised her head to spot Yellow at the far end of the couch, curled in on herself. "Have you been here the whole time?"

Yellow scowled. "Really Pearl, I'm not invisible."

"I know that," Pearl said with a heaving sigh. She wasn't really in the mood to bicker with Yellow today, especially since Yellow's prodding had become somewhat vicious recently, something Pearl suspected was due to her discovering Pearl's "dating habits."

Pearl was grateful when Yellow didn't delve further into the subject and instead fell silent, staring off into the dim room at nothing in particular.

Sometimes she worried Pearl.

Blue strode into the room some time later, observing the grim occupants with her hands on her hips for a moment before drawing the blinds open to let some light in. "That's better," she said, sitting down on the other side of Yellow's couch.

"I fail to see how," Yellow grumbled.

Blue only giggled, a hand covering her mouth.

Pearl forced herself to take another bite of mushy cereal as her aching eyes adjusted to the brightness. "Hey, how did your interview go yesterday?"

She almost regretted asking, seeing Blue wilt slightly.

"Awful. I couldn't give more than one word answers or else I'd start stuttering." 

"I'm sorry," Pearl said, giving an apologetic smile, "There's always next time...?"

"Yeah, I'm sure the next one will go better," Blue said, waving a hand as if to vanquish Pearl's unspoken worries. "Mom wanted me to talk to you, by the way."

Pearl furrowed her brows. "What about?"

Blue hesitated and stood, peering around the corner and into the hallway. Confident the coast was clear, she turned back to Pearl. "She's suspicious of what you're doing up so late the last few days."

Pearl laughed. "I've been catching up with Rose. Nothing bad about that." 

"Just what she told me," Blue said with a shrug.

"....What are you going to tell her?"

"That you've been talking with Rose," Blue said, "She'd be okay with that; she likes Rose."

"Yeah, you're right," Pearl said, stirring the remnants of her cereal as she became lost in thought. Her mother certainly wouldn't like Rose anymore if she found out that Pearl had dated her. And her father would be furious. Pearl set her uneaten cereal aside.

(On a brighter note, Rose had been ecstatic to hear about Garnet and Amethyst, and she had let-- no, encouraged-- Pearl to talk her ear off about the two until the early hours of the morning.)

With a brief farewell to Blue and Yellow, Pearl rose from her chair, taking her bowl of cereal with her to dump into the kitchen sink. She returned upstairs to her room and closed the door before falling gratefully into bed. 

Her head still hurt from sleep deprivation. Perhaps her mother was right about going to bed earlier; last night she had stayed up talking to Rose, and the other few nights she had stayed up talking with Garnet or Amethyst, often both at the same time with how frequently Amethyst stayed over at Garnet's place.

It had been a few weeks since Pearl had last seen either of them. Talking to them helped immensely, but it wasn't quite the same; they kept appearing in her dreams and she always woke up missing them terribly. Rose, too, sometimes.

Pearl pulled her pillow to her chest and squeezed it. 

\-----

"I don't think the shrimp liked the move very much," Amethyst said, "But it's not like I could leave them in the dorms over break."

"I know," Pearl said into the phone, her eyes closed. 

"They look a little sick," Garnet observed.

"You think the vet covers shrimp?"

"I dunno."

"You know, sometimes I wonder if they would've been better off in the biology department. Maybe I shouldn't have taken 'em."

"Nonsense," Pearl said, "I'm sure their lives are much better with you and Garnet than in some love-less laboratory. They probably wouldn't even have names there."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, P."

"....It's late. We should get to sleep," Garnet said, reluctant, "We've been up far too much this week."

"I don't know. I slept all day instead of eating all your parents' food, so maybe it's a good thing," Amethyst said, laughing.

Garnet tisked. "You know they adore you, Amethyst. Don't even fret about it."

"Yeah, well...."

Pearl rubbed at her eyes, feeling sleep beginning to creep up but not wanting it to strike while on the phone again. She sighed deeply when the lull of sleep didn't fade. "I think I'll say good night now. Can't keep my eyes open."

"Alright, you probably need it. Sweet dreams, P!"

"Good night, Pearl." Garnet paused in hesitation. "...We miss you."

Pearl bared her teeth in a grimace, her chest aching and her voice catching on the bitter bark of a laugh that erupted from her throat at Garnet's admission. "God, I miss you, too," she whispered, wiping at her suddenly wet eyes.

\-----

Christmas passed without too much fanfare, and New Year's was quickly approaching. School would resume in a couple of weeks and Pearl couldn't say she was unhappy with that; it would be a relief to see Garnet and Amethyst-- her friends-- again.

Pearl had just gotten comfortably bundled up in bed with a book when Yellow burst into her room, cracking the door into the wall before slamming it closed again.

"Yellow! What on earth--?!"

"I messed up. I really messed up," Yellow gasped out, leaning unsteadily on the closed door.

Pearl frowned, setting her book aside. "What did--"

"PEARL! GET DOWN HERE!" Her father roared.

Pearl flinched, face pale. "What-- What did you do?" She asked, barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Yellow whimpered, sinking to the floor and curling up.

Pearl gulped and untangled herself from the blankets, standing on wobbly legs. She stepped around Yellow and slipped out the door and down the stairs, as slow as she possibly could go without getting in further trouble.

Her parents waited for her in the kitchen-- her father leaning against the counter with his arms crossed and her mother with her face in her clawed hands.

Pearl had an unsettling feeling she knew what was about to happen, and yet she couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"What's this we hear from Yellow?" Her father started, his voice level but edged with fury. "That you're dating a /girl/?" He gave a wild and unamused laugh. "Two girls! Two!"

Pearl felt her pulse hammering unnaturally in her ears and feared for her health for a brief moment. She swallowed and fixed her gaze firmly on the tile floor, tracing the patterns with her eyes in a desperate reach for calm.

"Is this why you haven't been coming home on the weekends? Well?" Her father pushed back at her silence. "We don't appreciate this, Pearl. You can't just throw us aside. We're your family-- you're stuck with us."

Pearl nodded to show she was listening. She worried the edge of her shirt between her clammy fingers and fought to distance herself from what was happening.

Her father raised his voice again. "Don't you have anything to say for yourself?! What-- What exactly have you done with these girls?" 

Pearl chanced a glance up at her father and swiftly regretted it-- his mouth set into a sneer of disgust and his eyes dark and foreboding as they met hers.

"Fine! Don't talk," her father said, "You're going to see someone about this though."

Her mother drew her hands away from her face, her eyes teary. "I-- I don't know where we went wrong. What did we do to you to deserve this? Is this some sort of revenge against us?"

Pearl grit her teeth and shook her head no; of course her mother would paint herself as the victim.

"I just don't understand," her mother yelled through a sob, "We gave you everything you wanted, practically spoiled you rotten. Why are you making our lives hell?!"

Pearl didn't respond, eyes back to the floor, her lip curling with the suspicion that her mother was hamming up the heartbroken tears.

"What?" Her father said, mocking. "Are you a mute now?"

"It doesn't matter," her mother said to her father. Her tone lost the carefully crafted distressed quality to it. "This is good timing."

"....You're right. God works in mysterious ways," her father agreed after a moment.

Pearl lifted her head, dread seeping into her bones at her parents' alarming shift in attitude.

"We're moving back home. We're not doing well here and you /clearly/ aren't either," her mother said, tears conveniently gone as she eyed Pearl with a disparaging look. "The house hasn't sold yet and they've offered your father another position. We're going to move back and maybe, if that's not too much to ask, be normal again."

Here her mother was, offering Pearl a way out of this mess, a second chance. 

"We can move as soon as the next month or two," her father said, "So don't bother signing up for classes here. And you can say goodbye to those whores you met in college." He paused. "You know what, don't even talk to them-- I want your phone."

Pearl choked back a garbled sound of distress as she pulled her phone from her pocket and begrudgingly set it on the counter. 

She wasn't sure why, of all that had happened that evening, giving up her phone hit her the hardest. But Pearl was suddenly knocked breathless and panicky by the overwhelming desire to be anywhere but here; to bolt like a skittish animal. She wanted to be with Garnet and Amethyst instead of trapped--trapped, trapped, trapped in a million ways, every way-- here.

Her shoulders heaved with an erratic breath-- an attempt to shut down the tears that had risen to her eyes. She couldn't let herself cry now; she wouldn't give her parents the satisfaction.

Pearl cleared her throat feebly, her dry mouth making her words stick and the tremors along her spine making them shaky. "W-- what if I want to stay?"

Her mother and father exchanged a very significant look. "With how you've been acting, I think you've lost that choice," her father said, "It's for your own good."

"I-- I...." Pearl faltered. 

"You'll get to see your friend Rose again," her mother reminded her.

Pearl shook her head as if caught in a fog. "I'm an adult," she whispered, words reminiscent of a better time.

"Yes, technically," her mother said, "But really Pearl, you can barely manage to do anything on your own. You need us to hold your hand through /everything/." She fluttered her fingers and rolled her eyes. "You won't survive on your own here. And you certainly won't be able to go back to college."

"....Why?" Pearl asked, feeling ill and slow.

"How are you going to pay for it?" Her mother asked. "We won't be paying, that's for sure."

Pearl stared at the tile again, tracing the patterns, seeing how each corner connected to the other, the faint colors alternating from square to square, the faded spots and worn areas. Her ears rang.

"Okay." She heard herself say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's neat to finally have this chapter out since I've had this planned from the first couple chapters. Hah.
> 
> Next chapter should be out sooner than this one took, but I'm not sure how soon. We'll see.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really call this chapter, "Pearl Cries a Lot." But you know, I probably would too if I were in her situation.
> 
> Sorry this took so long to get out. I thought I'd have it done sooner.
> 
> Warning: Implied (I guess?) suicidal thoughts, Emotional abuse, Anxiety (Idk if it really is, but better to be safe than sorry). Just overall not so good stuff.

Pearl returned to her room to discover Yellow still in there, pacing. Through her foggy-minded stupor, Pearl found herself grinding her teeth as she stared at the cowering woman-- the cause of all this. Yellow had always been out to get her, and now Pearl was paying the price.

She never should have trusted her.

"Are you dead?" Yellow asked, wringing her hands.

"Yeah," Pearl said tersely, "What the hell happened to not telling on me?"

"I'm sorry! It slipped out," Yellow insisted. "It was an accident!"

Livid, Pearl raised a hand to halt the stream of excuses. "What is wrong with you?" She hissed. "What have I done to make you hate me? My god Yellow, why are you always making everything difficult for me?!"

Yellow winced and tugged at her hair, bowing her head as if to hide. "You-- you sound like Mom," she whispered.

Pearl felt a chill rake up her spine, rage turning to icy dread.

"....What?"

Yellow shook her head, too overcome to reply, and ran out the door.

Pearl could hear it now, almost as if her mother's voice had spewed unbidden from her own mouth like demonic possession. How she wished it was possession-- then it wouldn't have been her who sneered at Yellow with such hatred-- but it /was/ her, and Pearl's mind struggled with the implications.

What does one do when they become what they hate?

And she had never hated herself more than in that moment.

\-----

Pearl wasn't sure how long she laid in bed gazing bleakly at the ceiling, but it was dark now and she was slowly recovering her will to move. She sat up, blinking at the glowing numbers on her alarm as they didn't make sense for a moment. It was late. Most days she would be talking to Garnet and Amethyst by now. 

She wondered if they were worried. A pang of unease hit her at the thought and she pulled her laptop out from underneath her bed-- thankful her parents hadn't thought to take it away as well-- and sent them both a quick message.

"Sorry. Parents took away my phone."

A response came faster than Pearl had expected. "Yeah we were wondering where you were. Are you alright?" Garnet replied. "Amethyst is here too."

"I'm okay."

Pearl paused, trying to think of how best to explain what happened. "My parents found out. Yellow let it slip about us."

"Uh oh. What did they say?"

"They weren't happy about it obviously, but I don't really want to go into that. The problem is that they decided to move back south and they want me to go with them and I don't want to go with them but they'll stop paying for my college and I yelled at Yellow and I feel terrible and good god this is a long sentence." Pearl sent it and leaned back into her pillows, feeling as tired as if she had physically spoken the words.

Garnet (and assumedly Amethyst peering over her shoulder) took a minute longer than usual to reply. "What are you going to do?"

Pearl sighed and rubbed at her eyes, trying once again to push back the tears. "I don't know. I don't want to go with them. God I wish I could just run away," she typed out.

A strange something bloomed in her chest at that. 

Run away. 

"I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind housing you for the rest of break if you do choose to get out," Garnet responded.

It was insane-- running away-- but the hope that welled up within her was oh so enticing. How has she not realized this before? That she could run away, could simply leave if she wished. What was holding her back?

Money, for one thing. 

Pearl groaned, feeling her pristine hope shatter and fall between her fingers like shards of glass.

She couldn't pay her tuition on her own. Sure, she had a scholarship, but that only went so far. 

Pearl suddenly wanted to curse her parents' names from the top of her lungs. Damn them. Damn them and everything they stood for. Damn them and their rules and their issues and their controlling natures and their intolerance-- damn them.

A sob escaped her, and there was no stopping the tears this time around. She hugged herself, nails digging into her arms as hot, seething tears burst out. Hunching over her laptop, she tried to comfort herself with the thought that maybe it made her a little closer to Amethyst and Garnet instead of... here.

Her laptop dinged with several messages when she didn't respond.

Pearl futilely wiped at her eyes only for them to blur over once again. She clumsily typed out what she thought was a pathetically desperate and irrational response: "Just come get me. Please," and hit send. 

Pearl clapped a hand over her mouth, instantly aghast by what she had asked of Garnet, and tried to shut the waterworks off so she could at least /think/ clearly again, but each time she regained a moment of calm Yellow's fearful face would come back to haunt her and she was back to sobbing and clutching at her aching chest-- maybe she was dying. 

Heaven knows she certainly didn't deserve to live anymore. Not after that.

Nononononono no.

Pearl grunted through her tears and sprang up from the bed. She clasped her fidgety hands behind her and paced back and forth, careful to avoid her thoughts as well as the part of the floor that squeaked.

Her laptop lit up with another message. Pearl tripped over herself in the lunge to her laptop, but ignored her grazed elbows in favor of reading Garnet's reply. "What, tonight? It'll be at least an hour to your place. Are you sure? Think this through."

"Screw thinking things through," Pearl growled to the empty air. She sniffled loudly, succumbing to another bout of frustrated tears. She took another minute to compose her plea. 

"Please. I'm sorry this is so sudden. I would take my own car but it's not actually mine and I don't want them coming after me for car theft and god I just want out of here and I miss you two. Please. I'm really sorry." She didn't bother to edit the word vomit, choosing instead to hastily send it and then let herself slip down to lay in the floor.

This was perhaps the stupidest thing she had ever done. She didn't know how she was going to pay her tuition-- and she didn't really care. It was so unlike her to not care about something like that; maybe the stress had finally caught up to her, toxins trickling into the crevices of her mind.

And on top of the idiocy of her actions, there was the selfish part of herself assuming that Garnet was being genuine with her offer to house her until the end of break. Perhaps Garnet only offered to be polite and was now panicking at the thought of Pearl staying over for the next two weeks. Pearl felt her throat tighten.

She didn't even deserve any help. Certainly not if she was going to turn around and hurt Garnet and Amethyst the way she hurt Yellow. Maybe this time she would take on her father's style of cruelness instead of her mother's; maybe it would be a horrific mix of both. 

Pearl wondered just how many habits she had unknowingly caught from her parents, lying dormant until the next time she became angry and snapped at someone. 

She wondered if her parents were like her once.

Her laptop alerted her to Garnet's reply and Pearl pried herself off of the floor with some difficulty. "There's nothing to be sorry for," the message read, "We'll come get you. Be packed and ready. You've got an hour."

Pearl stumbled to her feet and sent a grateful thank you along with her address in response. Her tears had now changed into ones of relief and guilt and shivering adrenaline as she prowled about her room, picking out the most important things to pack.

With almost sloppy speed she folded clothes and packed them in the storage containers she used for college. Then she rifled through the rest of her belongings and picked out anything she would miss-- old journals, important documents, her favorite books (plus her textbooks for next semester), a stuffed animal Rose had given her so long ago-- and tucked them safely away in the boxes.

Pearl stepped back to examine her work, wiping the last of her tears away and noting with a frown that some of the lids on the boxes and containers barely closed; it was going to be difficult carrying them downstairs without waking her parents. Or tripping down the stairs.

She inched open her door, peering out into the dark hallway before gathering her nerves and ducking back into her room for the boxes. She hoisted one of the smaller boxes into her arms and, with her pulse like a drumbeat in her ears, tiptoed through the darkened hallway and forced herself to edge down the stairs. 

It was harder than she expected-- slinking down the stairs with little to no light and a heavy box in her arms waiting to ruin everything and send her tumbling down the steps like Scarlet O'Hara-- but she managed and set the box down by the front door.

By the time she had escorted each box downstairs, she had fifteen minutes left until Garnet and Amethyst would arrive. Pearl rocked back and forth on her feet uncertainly. What she really wanted now (besides to slip into blessed unconsciousness so she wouldn't have to think anymore) was to find her phone. Her parents always had a place they stored confiscated items in their old house and so Pearl assumed they had a place like that in their new house, but she hadn't stayed over long enough to figure out where it was yet.

Pearl gazed upstairs to the corner of Blue's doorframe. 

Blue. Blue would know. 

She laughed hollowly under her breath; of course she was only just now considering saying goodbye to Blue-- now that she wanted something out it. She really was terrible, wasn't she?

Pearl sighed and trudged up the steps, coming to a halt in front of Blue's door. She jiggled the doorknob and found it locked, but she knew it wouldn't be hard to open, as their parents have always been sure to install the most useless of locks on her and her sisters' doors. Pearl could unlock it with a fingernail, and so she did, only afterwards wincing at her blatant disregard for privacy. 

Blue laid in bed with her hands clasped against her chest, the moonlight playing over her mop of hair and over her still perfect sheets. Not for the first time, Blue reminded Pearl of a fairy. Pearl's mouth quirked up in a bittersweet smile, remembering a time when she was younger and truly convinced Blue was a fairy and oh so jealous of her because of that. 

Humming a chuckle, Pearl sat down on the edge of Blue's bed. The slight movement was enough to wake Blue, her eyes springing open. "Pearl? What... What's going on?" Blue sat up and rubbed her eyes with her fingertips.

"I was wondering if you knew where the new hidey spot was. I need my phone back," Pearl said, voice too casual, eyes turned away from Blue's.

"Um. They moved it to their bedroom," Blue said.

Pearl whirled around to stare at her. "No," she gasped, "You've got to be kidding me."

Blue giggled behind a hand. "Yes, I'm kidding."

Pearl slumped in relief. "God Blue, I thought you were serious."

Blue laughed again, leaning back against the headboard. "It's that box on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. They haven't even found a lock yet so you're in luck."

"Lost in the move?" 

"....Something like that," Blue said, grinning slyly. "Now. Ah, no offense, but why couldn't this wait until morning?"

Pearl looked away again, struggling for words. She could almost feel Blue's scrutinizing gaze on her-- on her clothes that were distinctly /not/ pajamas and the shoes on her feet-- and hear the gears in Blue's head turning in the silence. 

"You're leaving."

Pearl wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but nodded anyway. "Yeah," she breathed.

"I should have known," Blue said with an odd chuckle. "I thought... maybe you'd want to go back for Rose."

Pearl grimaced, picking at one of Blue's sheets, wrinkling it. "I do miss her, but I-- I don't think I want to go back, if that makes sense."

"It does," Blue said, resigned, "You'll have some place to stay, won't you?"

"I'm staying at Garnet's for a while," Pearl said.

"One of your... girlfriends?" Blue stumbled over the word.

"Yes."

"Well. If you're happy," Blue said, offering a hesitant smile.

Pearl nodded.

Blue sighed wearily, and opened her arms. Pearl stared, not understanding for a moment; it was such a foreign gesture in their family, and she couldn't remember the last time it occurred. It was only the tendency of Rose to be so tactile that got Pearl accustomed to casual touches and cuddling (and now Pearl was cuddly to the point of clinginess).

Despite the foreignness, Pearl scooted forward to embrace Blue. Her nose stuck out over Blue's shoulder and Blue's hair tickled her ears, and it was awkward in a dozen ways but comforting nonetheless.

"I figured you would get out. You or Yellow," Blue confessed.

"You could leave if you wanted to," Pearl murmured, staring down at Blue's pillows from over her shoulder.

"No. I'm a coward, unlike you," Blue said, her empty laugh cutting through Pearl's protest, "Besides, it's not too bad here. They don't even make me pay rent yet. And we're going back home, so that's nice."

"But then what?" Pearl asked, brows furrowed. "Nothing's going to change."

Blue made a noncommittal hum and fell silent at Pearl's words. Pearl tightened her hold on Blue after a moment, struck with an uneasy feeling that this would be the last time they would see each other for a while.

"Goodbye Pearl," Blue finally whispered.

"Bye Blue." Pearl broke the hug, quickly wiping at her eyes as she stood. "Hey uh, I said some... bad things to Yellow. C-can you watch out for her?"

"I always do," Blue said.

"And tell her I'm sorry?"

"I will."

Pearl walked halfway to the door but hesitated, looking back at Blue. 

"Aw, get out of here you rebel," Blue said, waving her off with a sad smile. "Go have fun."

"Thanks," Pearl whispered, throwing Blue one last glance before creeping out the door and closing it behind her. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and willing her thoughts to calm. Just get the phone.

She made her way back downstairs and into the kitchen and found the box and her phone exactly where Blue said they would be. Pearl turned the phone over in her hands, frowning. Her parents would no doubt strike her from the phone plan, but despite that, she figured she still truly needed her phone-- too many (foolishly) unsaved documents and pictures inside.

Pearl sent Amethyst a quick text, telling her that she had recovered her phone, and went to wait by the front door. She patted her pockets and looked everything over, wondering if she were forgetting something, when her gaze fell on the keypad to the alarm on the wall.

"God dammit." Pearl ran a hand through her hair. She needed to turn that off before she opened the door. The alarm itself wasn't the problem-- it was the noise it would make as the code was punched in and the chime that would ding as the door opened.

Pearl's phone vibrated. "How do I know ur not Pearl's parents?" Amethyst had sent.

Pearl couldn't resist smiling at that, despite her predicament. "Your favorite color is purple. When we first met you had a shrimp in your hair. You have the cutest button nose," she typed.

"Aw shucks, it is you. We'll be there in like two minutes. Any last minute info?"

"Uh, just be as quiet as you can," Pearl wrote, "I'm sneaking out basically."

Pearl's phone buzzed again. "Gotcha. And we assumed."

Headlights shone through the shutters not a minute later, and steeling herself, Pearl pressed in the code to turn the alarm off, wincing at every beep. She put the door chime on silent with shaking fingers, swearing when that too caused a beep. She held her breath, straining to hear any sort of stirring from her parents' bedroom. The heartbeat in her ears was a great hindrance.

But she didn't hear anything, and so she unlocked the front door with fumbling fingers and all but threw it open. 

"Hello," Garnet lightly called, leaving the door to her car ajar as she cut across the yard. Amethyst skidded ahead of her, over the frosted grass, and bowled into Pearl's middle with a very excitedly whispered, "Pearl!"

"Garnet, Amethyst!" Pearl laughed, her breath bursting into clouds in the cold air as Amethyst squeezed tightly around her waist. Garnet caught up to the two and wrapped her arms around Pearl's shoulders, knocking Pearl off balance and causing her to stumble into the doorframe. Pearl giggled deliriously and would have slipped into an even louder laugh if it weren't for Garnet shushing her.

"Shh. Don't want to wake your parents," Garnet whispered beside Pearl's ear, a grin seeping through her words.

"Oh. Right," Pearl said, her voice beginning to waver, "It's just so good to see you two."

"Aw, don't get weepy on us now, P. We're on a mission," Amethyst declared, nudging Pearl playfully as she ducked out from between Garnet and Pearl.

"Yes, of course." Pearl reluctantly pulled away from Garnet to motion to the boxes right inside the door. "I'll need some help with these."

"No problem," Garnet said, picking up two boxes and carrying them off.

Amethyst hissed, "Show off!"

Garnet tossed her a dazzling smirk over her shoulder, to which Amethyst could only stare.

"Come on, Amethyst," Pearl whispered, tugging her out of her entranced stupor and into the house. "And try to be quiet."

Amethyst huffed and bent down for one of the boxes before pausing and attempting to shove another into her arms. 

"Amethyst." 

"I got this, P." 

Pearl winced, watching Amethyst wobble upright and stumble out the door, the top of her head barely peeking out above the stack of boxes.

With the last box safely in her arms, Pearl followed Amethyst out to the car and set the box in the trunk. "That's the last one. I just need to lock the door back," Pearl said, motioning behind her.

Garnet nodded and Pearl made a dash to the front door. She stepped inside, checking to make sure nothing was left behind, and then turned to step out when the hairs on the back of her neck rose. Pearl froze.

Please no.

Pearl's hand fell from the doorknob as she chanced a glance behind her.

A shadowed figure stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at Pearl. "....Pearl?"

Pearl let out a garbled little shriek as she stumbled back out the door, horrified to see her mother surging down the stairs.

"PEARL!" Her mother seized the front of Pearl's shirt, nails scraping her collarbone.

Pearl was still trying to process how her mother had gotten from the top of the stairs to the front steps of the house so fast, and why her own body seemed to move so slow despite her panic.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing?!"

"L-- leaving," Pearl stuttered.

"Hey! Watch it!" Amethyst growled, storming towards Pearl and her mother, Garnet with her.

Pearl twisted to catch Garnet and Amethyst's attention, shaking her head and shooing them off desperately. Garnet took pause, catching Amethyst by the shoulder to keep her back.

Her mother paled upon realizing they had an audience and released her grasp on Pearl. 

Pearl quickly backed up out of arms reach, rubbing her throat.

"Why. Why are you leaving?" Her mother demanded in a low voice, arms crossed and lips curled in an angry sneer.

Pearl could only glare for a moment-- but that felt like a victory in its own way, having always tried her best to kept her facial expressions compliant and respectful-- before she found her voice, sharp and biting and braver than she could ever remember, the finality of their meeting making her foolish and cocksure with her words.

"Because-- because I don't want to be here--" Pearl left the "with you" unstated but heavily implied-- "And I don't want to move back and I /know/ you and Dad will never listen and-- and god, please let me make my own decisions for once!" 

Her mother's face had turned two shades more sour over the course of Pearl's plea. "No! No, you do not get to make your own decisions if this is what you decide!" She whispered, waving an arm towards Garnet and Amethyst and the car. "This is /stupid/." She hissed the word in such a way that Pearl faltered for a second. "I thought you were better than this."

"It--"

Her mother trampled over Pearl's protest. "I will not let you make a fool of us," she said darkly, "Get back in that house right now."

Pearl bared her teeth. "I said I'm leaving. I'm twenty-one--"

"Oh! Twenty-one!" Her mother exclaimed with an exaggerated laugh, waving her hands around. "Wow! You're so mature! Think you know more than your parents because-- well, what do we know?!"

Pearl's eyes narrowed; the mockery her mother was so fond of once again getting under her skin. "Weren't you married at my age?" She asked coolly.

Her mother put her hands down slowly, her cruel laughter dying as she turned to gaze at Pearl with eyes that were murderous and isolating and cold. 

Pearl wasn't sure if it was the look or the temperature that caused her to shiver, but she suddenly regretted ever speaking up, dread prickling on her skin as her short-lived courage tried to evaporate.

"Excuse me? What was that?" Her mother finally spat.

"I-- I don't--" Pearl clutched at her unraveling threads of courage and tried again. "Just forget it. Bye." She half-waved and spun on her heel with the intention to scamper away when her mother clamped a hand on her shoulder, dragging her back to stand next to her. 

Her mother's hand tightened around Pearl's shoulder-- a warning-- and her mother donned a cheery grin as she addressed Garnet and Amethyst. "You'll have to excuse us for all this commotion," she said, her accent thick and charming, "You see, my daughter still hasn't grown out of that teen phase, and you know teenagers, they always want to be the center of attention!" 

Her mother laughed, frowning for an instant when Garnet and Amethyst didn't laugh with her and instead watched her warily. Irritated, Pearl stared skyward just above Garnet and Amethyst's heads.

"Anyway," her mother continued, "I'm sorry to see she's tricked you all the way out here. She's always been like this, and, I'm sure you can imagine, difficult to raise, especially along with her other two sisters. It certainly wasn't easy." She gave another bubbly laugh, another failed attempt to prompt Garnet and Amethyst into laughter as well. 

Pearl grit her teeth and rolled her eyes hard enough to hurt her head, her anger building with each word that fell out of her mother's mouth.

"I had to quit my job you know-- but no matter, 'a mother's job is never done' they say," her mother chirped.

Pearl held back a groan, her eyes slipping down to Amethyst and Garnet, catching movement. Garnet made a subtle beckoning motion, both her and Amethyst's expressions an odd grimace. 

"And she's--"

"Oh fuck off," Pearl grunted. She stiffened, an instant of shock over her own words clouding her mind. But this time she was past the point of regretting them.

Her mother gasped, offended. "Pearl!"

Pearl managed to shove her mother's hand away and then trudged across the yard, her mother sputtering behind her. Pearl smiled blearily at Garnet and Amethyst, leaning gratefully into them for a brief moment before skirting around them, eager to get to the car and away.

"Uhh... P?"

Pearl looked over her shoulder to see Amethyst gesturing back to Pearl's mother, who had quickly dissolved into a fit of wailing tears, crumpled on the front steps of the house. 

"What did I do? What did I do to deserve this? I'm doing my best. Why has the Lord given me such difficult children? They all hate me," her mother blubbered. When no one made any move to protest or reassure her, the tears turned into something spiteful. "Fine! Go on and leave your poor mother! Your mother who's given up everything for you! You'll remember all I've done for you when you come crawling back!"

Good. Fucking cry about it.

Pearl frowned, disturbed by her own menacing thoughts, and tore her eyes away from the pathetic spectacle. "Ignore her," she told Amethyst coldly, "It's an act. She's done it before." 

Pearl climbed into the backseat of the car, followed hesitantly by Amethyst and Garnet.

"Let's go," Pearl breathed, thudding her head against the seat in front of her and glaring at her mother's form out of the corner of her eye.

"Seatbelt," Garnet reminded her gently.

The more Pearl watched her mother, the sicker she felt. Not only was it a reminder of her own darkening self --how she had yelled at Yellow, how she only cared to say goodbye to Blue once she could get something out of it, how satisfied and empowered and vindictive she felt watching her mother fall apart-- but she could all too easily imagine this childish, manipulative woman as her own future.

Pearl wanted to hurl as well as stab something. "Can we leave now?" She asked, voice odd.

"When you put on your seatbelt," Garnet said.

Pearl grasped the buckle with fumbling fingers and drew it across with some difficulty; what was usually a simple action prompting cold sweat to break out across her shoulders. "It's on," she said, leaning forward again to rest her head on the seat. She dug her nails into her arms and tried to count to ten.

"Alright." The car rumbled to life and pulled out of the driveway.

"Yeah, let's get out of here before your dad comes out with a shotgun," Amethyst said under her breath, chuckling anxiously.

Pearl grunted in agreement, the slightest bit of relief trickling over her once they were out of eyesight of the house. She still felt rather ill though, her stomach and her mind, both, whirling in distress. It was shocking to see how soon the doubt washed over her, but maybe her mother was right. Maybe this /was/ stupid. How was she going to pay for her tuition? And her dorm? And that blasted meal plan? 

And Pearl was developing a monstrous personality on top of all that. Maybe it would be better if she stayed with her parents for the sole reason of isolating herself from Garnet and Amethyst. They didn't deserve any sort of abuse, especially not from her.

"...rl? Pearl?"

Pearl wrenched her head up. "What," she spat. 

Amethyst shrank back into her seat. "....Just making sure you're still with us."

Pearl swallowed, guilt leaking a bitter taste into her mouth. "Sorry," she said, "I'm sorry, Amethyst." 

Terrible.

Amethyst waved a hand. "Don't worry 'bout it. You're stressed."

"That's no excuse," Pearl mumbled, half a million memories of her parents snapping and using that same excuse. She wanted to cry again.

"You ah, you doing okay?" Amethyst asked.

"Why are you so good?" Pearl lamented under her breath, digging her nails further into her arms. 

"I didn't catch that, sorry," Amethyst said ruefully. 

Pearl's mouth still tasted foul and she shuddered as another bolt of dread arched through her. "....I think I'm going to be sick actually." 

"I'll pull over," Garnet declared, the blinker ticking on a few seconds later.

"Heh, an empty McDonald's parking lot," Amethyst singsonged in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Pearl rubbed her hands across her face, trying to push away her unpleasant thoughts and dread. She unbuckled her seatbelt and shoved her door open the moment the car stopped, hoping the cold air would help-- "Wait!" Garnet yelped-- and climbed out of the car only for her knees to fold underneath her. 

"Gah," Pearl huffed, dizzy but not blacked out, her hands stinging on the pavement.

"Geez," Amethyst swore, tumbling out of the car and wrapping her arms around Pearl to prop her up some. 

"That was dumb of me," Pearl admitted sheepishly.

"It's okay, you're okay," Amethyst said, patting her on the back.

Pearl struggled out of Amethyst's embrace-- didn't deserve it-- and shook her head briskly. "Just nerves," she insisted. How did she deserve these two? "Just--" Her face scrunched up as the tears finally broke through.

"Aw, P...." 

Pearl feebly shrugged away Amethyst's hands and was attempting to stand when Garnet kneeled down and put a very heavy hand against Pearl's shoulder. "I don't think you should get up yet."

Pearl grimaced, looking away to hide her tears.

"Unless you want to pass out," Garnet said, taking her glasses off and hooking them on her shirt collar, her concerned gaze now visible.

"At least then I wouldn't have to think so much," Pearl said through hitched breaths, putting her head in her hands.

"Then... talk to us," Garnet said, "We won't judge."

Amethyst nodded. "You'll feel better."

"It's stupid. Everything is--" Pearl pulled at her own hair, letting out a frustrated growl. She deflated not a second later, releasing her hair to stare at her hands, blurry through her eyes. "Did-- Did I make the right choice?" 

Garnet hummed in thought for a moment. "I don't think that's up for us to decide."

"I mean, I think you made the right decision," Amethyst said, shrugging, "Your mom kinda creeped me out."

"Do you... want to go back?" Garnet asked haltingly, as if it were painful. 

"....I don't know," Pearl said. She shivered. "Let's get back in the car. It's cold."

"Alright." Garnet stood and helped Amethyst and Pearl to their feet. Pearl murmured a "thank you" and climbed into the backseat of the car, surprised when Amethyst scooted in beside her and then Garnet joined her on the other side.

"We needed to talk, didn't we? It'll help," Garnet said to Pearl's look of confusion.

"Ah yes, I suppose so," Pearl said. She looked down at her lap, unsure of where to start and of how to say it all while fighting off tears.

Amethyst drummed her fingers against the car door, and Pearl squirmed, uncomfortable with the expectant silence. "Let's just... go. I already caused all this trouble, might as well go through with it."

"It was no trouble," Garnet insisted.

Pearl scoffed. "Yes it was. I don't even know why you two went to all this effort. We've barely known each other... how many months? I don't remember, but not many, and god, I don't know why you even tried; I don't even deserve it--"

"I'm gonna cut you off right there," Garnet quickly interrupted. "You've had a rough day. You aren't thinking the best. Of course you deserve this."

Pearl shook her head morosely. "I really don't. I shouted at my sister and...." She grimaced, feeling fresh tears well up in her eyes.

"She said I sounded like Mom," she whispered. "My mother.... Well, you two don't know much about her--"

"Oh we saw," Amethyst said gravely.

"--But I don't want to be anything like her, or my father, and the more I think back on things... I keep remembering things I did or said that sounded exactly like her and...." Pearl paused, her voice having pitched so high it was becoming difficult to speak. She hid her face in her hands once again.

"You can cry. We aren't judging," Garnet said.

Pearl groaned. "All I've done today is cry." She sniffled loudly. "Would-- If I were being mean to you, would you tell me?"

"There's a good chance you would already know," Garnet said, studying Pearl carefully, "But yes. I'd tell you."

"My pouting would probably give it away," Amethyst said with a forced laugh, "But uh, why, exactly?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to be like my mother one day," Pearl said, her voice hushed and hollow sounding, "And she's mean. I don't even think she realizes-- maybe she doesn't care-- how mean she is, and I never want to be like that. I don't want to be like her towards... you."

"Oh," Amethyst stated eloquently. "Well, yeah, we'll tell ya. Keep you in check and all that."

"...Thanks." Pearl pulled her hands away from her face and wiped her misty eyes, still feeling foolish for crying so much.

"You're not your parents, you know," Garnet said, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're your own person, Pearl."

"I'm still going to worry about it," Pearl said, "It's a possibility; my parents' parents weren't too great either from what they've told me. It's like... like a cycle, I guess."

"I understand why you're worried then," Garnet said, sighing. She unexpectedly pressed a lingering kiss to Pearl's forehead and then drew back. "You don't have to continue it though. You'll be okay."

"Yeah, I'm nothing like my parents," Amethyst said, "And you don't seem like yours, so... I think you'll turn out alright."

Pearl nodded, still troubled but breathing easier. Her head felt a little clearer now that she had spilled her fears to Garnet and Amethyst-- had warned them about what she may become. At least they knew now.

Amethyst and Garnet both stayed quiet after that, recognizing the look that told them Pearl was thinking something over. 

"Actually... yeah, maybe it's better I do leave my parents," Pearl eventually said, "It's harder to become like them if I'm not around them, right?"

"Right!" Amethyst exclaimed, lightly shoving Pearl's side, "So you're stayin' with us?"

Pearl let out a shaky exhale and chuckled weakly. "I'm going to be an absolute mess, but yes. I'm staying with you two... dorks."

"Oh, we're dorks now, are we?" Garnet slung an arm around Pearl's shoulders.

"Shush," Pearl said, smiling faintly, "Let's go before I chicken out again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title drop! But it's not the end yet! Not for a little while. The fluff should come back soon, too. 
> 
> And sorry that chapter was so long. I considered splitting it somewhere but I just decided to post the entire thing. Might as well.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't replied to the comments from last chapter. I've been busy, but I promise I have read them and I love them. Thank you so much guys; keeps me going.

"Pearl. Pearl, it's alright. Just a dream."

Pearl sputtered into wakefulness, gasping as if she had been drowning instead of sleeping. Garnet shushed her and rubbed her shoulder while Pearl glanced around the room, eyes widened in bewilderment before she remembered where she was, how she got there.

And with that, the memories of last night resurfaced in her mind and she reeled a bit, scrabbling to cling to Garnet's arm.

"Just a dream," Garnet repeated, concern painting her gaze. "Pearl?"

"But it was real," Pearl whimpered, "I actually did all that."

"You did," Garnet said, "It was very brave."

Pearl wanted to protest but instead let herself sink into Garnet's side, wanting comfort. "...They probably disowned me," she murmured fretfully.

Garnet hummed in thought, running a hand through Pearl's hair like how one would stroke a cat. "It's not the end of all things. My parents have similar stories and they're fine. More than fine, actually."

Pearl sighed heavily and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

Pearl shrugged. "Everything," she wanted to say. 

"It's really not your fault," Garnet said.

"It kind of is," Pearl whispered earnestly.

Garnet gave a discontented sort of huff, the air stirring Pearl's hair slightly. "You really think you'd be better off moving away with your parents?" 

Pearl winced at the frustrated bite she detected in Garnet's words. She swallowed uncomfortably and begged, "Please don't be mad."

Garnet stiffened. "I-- I'm not. Well, I am, but not at /you/. Not at you, Pearl."

Pearl squeaked out an "Okay," and clenched her jaw shut, afraid to speak in case she started crying, and goodness, was she tired of crying.

"I'm upset I can't help you more. Nothing I'm saying is helping..." Garnet paused before offering a reassurance, "And-- and that's not your fault. You're absolutely allowed to feel bad; I'm just frustrated I can't do more, not mad at you."

Pearl raised her head, surprised by Garnet's vulnerability. "Can't do more?" She laughed quietly and placed a hand against Garnet's cheek. "You've done so much already. You're letting me stay at your house for heaven's sake." She blinked back her tears, smiling wanly. 

"I... I know. I wish--" Garnet didn't finish her sentence and instead avoided Pearl's gaze, taking a deep breath as she did so.

A painful voice in Pearl's head helpfully pointed out that she was making everyone around her miserable. Eyes distant, she rubbed her thumb over Garnet's cheekbone in an unspoken apology.

"I'll get through this," Pearl said, uncertain of who she was trying to reassure.

"Of course you will," Garnet murmured, taking Pearl's hand from her cheek and kissing her knuckles. "And you don't have to do this alone," she said with her lips still pressed to Pearl's hand; Pearl blushed.

"I'll help and I'm sure my parents will help and if Amethyst were awake--" Garnet paused for a moment, glancing at Amethyst's slumbering and snoring form beside them. "--She'd tell you the same."

Pearl nodded, clearing her throat after Garnet finally released her now very overheated hand. 

Garnet chuckled, her eyes sparkling with mirth for the first time that night. "Sorry about that," she said, reaching up to lightly tap Pearl's flushed cheek.

"I really don't think you are," Pearl said.

Garnet shrugged and flashed her a grin. "Maybe not."

Pearl smiled softly and pressed a grateful kiss to the corner of Garnet's mouth. Garnet let out a puff of amused air and took Pearl's head in her hands, kissing her tenderly. 

Pearl ran her hand down Garnet's side, faintly amazed at how warm her and Amethyst always were (unlike herself, always chilled) and played with the hem of Garnet's tank top until she hummed her approval. 

Pearl let her hand wander underneath Garnet's top, feeling warmth and smooth skin and Garnet's slightly quickened breathing. She dragged her nails against her side and was surprised to feel Garnet jolt and nip at her bottom lip. Garnet pulled away from the kiss with half a breathless laugh. 

Pearl blinked, pleasantly dazed from Garnet's reaction. "What was that?" She asked once she could find her voice again.

"Nothing re--"

Pearl absently stroked Garnet's side again, causing laughter to bubble out of the woman once more.

"You're ticklish!" Pearl declared.

Garnet set her mouth and looked to the side. "No.... Wah! Ah ha Pearl!" 

Pearl stilled her fingers, smiling smugly. "No, you definitely are."

Amethyst groaned. "Guysss. Could ya fuck a little quieter? I'm right here, geez, coulda asked me to join," she grumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"Garnet's ticklish!" Pearl said, very proud of this discovery.

Amethyst moved her hand away from her eyes, squinting at Pearl and Garnet in the darkened room. It seemed to take a moment for her mind to catch up. "Well yeah," she said, "I could've told ya that if you really wanted to know."

Garnet chuckled, wrapping an arm around Amethyst to draw her closer. "Come here, Grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy," Amethyst mumbled. She made eye contact with Pearl. "Why are you two awake anyway?"

Pearl grimaced. "Nightmare."

"Oh." Amethyst's countenance softened. "Is it about what happened?"

Pearl laughed uneasily, comforted slightly when she felt Garnet's hand resume playing with her hair. "Yeah. But it's okay," she said, squeezing her eyes shut, "Well, it's not-- but it will be? I hope?"

"Yeah. Probably. I, uh, I don't have any advice," Amethyst said helplessly.

"It's alright," Pearl said, opening her eyes and studying Amethyst. "Just being here with you two is a huge help."

\-----

Pearl woke up again a few hours later, blinking in confusion at the light barely peeking through Garnet's curtained windows. She glanced at Garnet and Amethyst beside her, still asleep, and resisted the urge to wake them like a terrified child after a nightmare. Not that her dream this time was too awful-- in fact, she couldn't even remember it anymore-- but it had left her with a hollow feeling she didn't exactly enjoy. 

Pearl reached a hand out and frowned at the tired shadows just under both Garnet and Amethyst's eyes, knowing she had been the cause of them. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, drawing her hand away before she could touch them. 

They probably wouldn't want her to blame herself.

She swallowed thickly and slipped out from underneath the warmth of Garnet's covers, shuddering at the temperature of the room, cold in contrast. She wrapped her arms around herself and scanned the room for her suitcase. 

Amethyst's hoodie crumpled in a heap on Garnet's desk caught Pearl's attention first though, and she quickly picked it up and put it on. She laughed at the sizing, stretching her arms out and noting how the baggy sleeves couldn't even reach her wrists, the jacket being both too big and too small in a way. 

Pearl pulled it tighter around herself, the smell and fabric of the jacket making her feel as if Amethyst were wrapped around her instead. She hummed at the thought. 

She glanced at the two in bed, contemplating whether or not she wanted to rejoin them; she did, but she could really use a drink of water she decided, sighing as she tiptoed across the room. Pearl opened the door and stepped out, carefully closing the door behind her. 

"Oh hey. You're Pearl, right?"

Pearl jumped but managed to restrain a yelp of surprise as she turned to the two women sitting in the kitchen. The one with longer hair and an eyepatch offered her a smile. "We didn't mean to frighten you. I'm Sapphire," she said, her soothing monotone and accent similar to Garnet's.

"Ruby," the other woman said, raising a hand to wave sheepishly.

Pearl cleared her dry throat quietly. "It's good to meet you both. I'm Pearl. But, ah, you already knew that," she said, laughing nervously. Her own baggy sweatpants and bedhead and unwashed face made Pearl internally cringe; this was certainly not the first impression she had intended to give to Garnet's parents.

"It's fine," Sapphire said, "I'm sorry we weren't there to greet you last night."

"Oh, no, don't worry about it. Thank you for letting me stay," Pearl said, walking hesitantly into the kitchen. She wanted to say more to express just how grateful she was, but the right words weren't coming.

"Any friend of Garnet is a friend of ours," Ruby declared. She faltered for a moment. "Er, actually you're probably more like a girlfriend." Her eyes widened in panic and she gestured wildly enough to topple her cup of coffee. "Not to say you're /our/ girlfriend, too! Just that you're--"

"Ruby," Sapphire said, putting a hand to her wife's shoulder. "I'm sure she understood."

"Right. Right," Ruby mumbled, relaxing. "Sorry," she said, smiling ruefully at Pearl.

Pearl laughed, glad to see she wasn't the only one so nervous. "It's okay. But um...." She frowned and pointed to the puddle of coffee steadily seeping past Ruby's plate.

Ruby looked down blankly at the coffee and then stumbled out of her chair, swearing as she ducked around Pearl to grab a handful of paper towels. Sapphire laughed gracefully behind one of her gloved hands as she watched Ruby clean up the mess.

"Sorry," Pearl said, catching Sapphire's attention, "But where do you keep your cups?"

Sapphire motioned to an upper cabinet across the kitchen and Pearl thanked her before taking a glass. She filled up her glass with water and took a sip, planning her retreat. "I'm gonna... go back," Pearl said, gesturing lamely to Garnet's room, "We got in late."

"Of course, of course," Sapphire said, "It was nice meeting you."

"You too," Pearl said, nodding slightly to Ruby and Sapphire. She took her glass and walked back to Garnet's room and slipped inside. She slumped against the door once it was closed; that didn't go too badly... right?

She took another gulp of water and set it on the desk before crawling back under the covers. Garnet and Amethyst were still sleeping soundly despite the sun trying to poke through the curtains, and Pearl had to smile at that. 

She took a deep breath and released it, letting herself relax as she did so. Ruby and Sapphire were both so nice. Or they seemed to be, anyway. And Garnet didn't regret offering to let her stay at her house. Hopefully. 

Maybe Pearl wasn't as burdensome as she felt. 

She closed her eyes.

Maybe everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing Ruby.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ach it's been so long. Sorry guys, school killed me. Next semester should be a lot lighter so hopefully my absence won't be repeated.
> 
> But look! An update for you to read as you are surrounded by all your homophobic relatives this holiday season! Enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: 5/6/17 See endnote.

"Done," Pearl groaned, pulling her laptop closed and promptly thudding her head down on it. 

"It's not so bad," Garnet said, amusement in her voice, "You won't have to pay anything until you're out of school."

Pearl grumbled incomprehensibly before raising her head and leaning back in the chair with a sigh. "I know. I had thought I could avoid student loans and..." She blew out another puff of air, brows furrowed. "Things haven't worked out the way I planned."

Garnet rested her crossed arms on the table, brushing Pearl's shoulder with her own. "...For better or for worse?" 

Pearl laughed and leaned into Garnet, burying her face. "I'm not sure yet. Better, I'd hope." She found Garnet's hand and tangled their fingers together, absently worrying Garnet's palm with her thumb as the seconds passed. 

Pearl clenched her jaw and pressed herself further into the warmth of Garnet's red sweater.

"...They've been texting me," she confessed, "Calling too, but I don't answer."

She felt Garnet stiffen for a moment. "What do they say?" 

"Oh you know, just the whole I'm-ruining-my-life thing sprinkled with begging and guilt trips." Pearl chuckled uneasily. "But I can't help wondering if they're right. Where will I stay when summer comes? How will I pay for food? ...I can't take advantage of your parents' kindness again."

Garnet propped her chin atop Pearl's head, making her words vibrate and tickle Pearl's ears. "You could find a job on campus. You've certainly got the credentials."

"I suppose so." 

"Oh ho, what'd I miss?" Amethyst asked, half a bagel hanging out of her mouth as she slid into one of the kitchen chairs.

"Just... worrying. Nothing new." Pearl slipped out from under Garnet's chin, giving a brief noise of apology.

"Aw, don't think about it, P."

Bzzt. Pearl jumped, feeling her phone vibrate, and she fished it out of her pocket with dread. "Speak of the devil," she muttered, unlocking it. She was relieved to see Blue's name, only for the uneasiness to return once she read her text:

"Pearl. Mom and Dad are very worried. Please come back home." 

The plea to return home was too stiff and formal for Blue, and Pearl quickly came to the unpleasant conclusion that her parents were reading it behind Blue's shoulder, instructing her on what to say. Puppetry in a way.

Feeling a little sick, Pearl set her phone aside unanswered.

"Who was it?" Garnet asked.

"Oh. Uh, Blue," Pearl said, "But my parents were telling her what to say, so... not really Blue."

She didn't want to think about what havoc her parents had been wrecking the past few days. 

Or her father sitting in angry, deathly silence. Or of her mother prowling around the house in search of a fight, or crying in the hopes it would lure Blue and Yellow from out of their rooms where they had no doubt been hiding. 

And she didn't want to think about how on edge and nervous her sisters must be because of her own actions.

Wait. Her own actions? Bullshit. She wasn't the one tormenting them. She couldn't control how her parents chose to react. 

This was their fault.

Pearl's gaze bore unseeingly into her laptop. "...Some people shouldn't have children."

Garnet and Amethyst seemed to be at a momentary loss for words. 

"It's messed up," Pearl whispered, sounding slightly unnerved but mostly saddened. She stood up suddenly and then proceeded to carefully push in her chair (more to escape Garnet and Amethyst's pitying gazes while she reigned in her emotions than out of any sense of politeness). 

"Let's... Let's go out," Pearl suggested once the chair was perfectly oriented. She clenched and then shook out her hands at her sides. "Do something...?"

Amethyst exchanged a glance with Garnet and shrugged, getting out of her chair and brushing the bagel crumbs from her shirt. "Whatever you want, Pearl. I'm game."

Garnet looked unconvinced but rose to grab her coat and keys anyway. "Mom! We're going out for a bit," she called.

Ruby popped her head out from her bedroom. "Where to?"

"We dunno," Garnet said, striding over to leave a kiss on her mother's forehead.

Ruby chuckled. "Alright, stay safe!" 

Pearl frowned as she walked to the door; another unpleasant realization. The past day, she had been waiting for Ruby and Sapphire's masks to finally fall off, but she couldn't ignore the fact that perhaps they never wore them in the first place. Maybe they were actually caring and kind and apologized for their wrongs. 

They didn't yell when Garnet sprained her wrist on the punching bag the other day, and they didn't launch an entire interrogation on where and who and why they were going out.

Just the fact that Garnet could announce that they were going out-- not ask permission-- was foreign and confusing to Pearl. It made her feel distinctly... not normal. 

"Can I drive?"

\-----

Pearl had never understood the appeal to speeding-- after all, the driving manuals had always empathized that speed kills-- but she certainly understood it now, cresting over a hill like she wanted to take off into the clouds, blaring music her parents would have never approved of, cold air from the open windows lashing her face.

Free! Free, she thought. She laughed loudly, eyes stinging (from the wind or something else, she couldn't say) and shoulders shuddering from the force of her laughter. She sped through a sharp turn and could have sworn the vehicle swayed dangerously, but she wasn't in any sort of mind to care about that now.

"Pearl! Slow down," Garnet nearly yelped from the backseat.

She had never heard Garnet's voice so strained and her mind took note of it, surprise causing her to slow down to a more legally acceptable speed. 

"Aw, come on, G," Amethyst complained.

Pearl was still fighting off reckless little giggles as she pulled off into a parking lot, registering in the back of her mind that she probably shouldn't be driving right this moment. She turned the car off and tilted her head back against the headrest, utterly drained and shivering from the cold.

"Wow Pearl, I didn't think you had it in ya." Amethyst playfully punched her in the arm.

"Hah, I really don't," Pearl said breathlessly, "I don't know what came over me."

Garnet clasped her shoulder, voice a bit tight. "I will definitely be driving for the rest of the night."

Pearl offered her a wan smile. "Sorry for speeding in your car. I think I needed that."

Garnet groaned and rubbed her nose under her glasses.

"I'd say so! You need to let loose like that more often," Amethyst said, practically bouncing in her seat.

Pearl hummed and closed her eyes. "I think I'm done for now."

\-----

The inside of the little chain restaurant was warm, thank goodness, and Pearl huddled into a booth seat, gingerly rubbing at her chill-bitten ears. Amethyst chortled and scooted closer to Pearl, resting a hand on her thigh.

"I should not have done that with the windows down. What was I thinking?" 

"You're really cute."

Pearl furrowed her brows and glanced at Amethyst quizzically. "...You're just impressed that I acted like a delinquent, aren't you?"

Hiding a sheepish grin, Amethyst looked away and shrugged. "Eat your chicken, dork."

Pearl made a "humph" sound good-naturedly, but followed Amethyst's suggestion and picked at the food on her plate. Amethyst teased her once she actually ate a bite, calling her a bird, and Pearl poked back willingly, her shaky tiredness fading into warmth as they teased each other-- mostly because Amethyst's hand on her thigh was steadily inching higher and Pearl's face was turning beet red, but never mind that.

"Hey," Pearl said, nudging Garnet's foot with her own, "Are you okay? ...You're very quiet."

"I'm always quiet," Garnet shot back. Her voice didn't sound right. Pearl wished once again that Garnet didn't have to wear her shades; the bottom half of her face could be so impassive at times.

Amethyst reclaimed her wandering hand and stretched her arms behind her head as she looked Garnet over. "We won't fall for that one, G. What's up?"

Garnet crossed her arms and pressed her lips into a tight line, silent.

Pearl frowned as she warily observed Garnet, a trickle of irrational fear inching down her spine. "Are you-- Are you... mad about something?"

Garnet's fingers dug into her forearms as she exhaled heavily through her nose. Whatever form of calm she was attempting to reach vanished soon after that. "Have you /any/ idea how dangerous that was of you?" she questioned, leaning forward as her hands gripped the table's edge.

"...What?" Pearl shrank back.

"Your driving," Garnet said, voice low and visor flashing. "It was incredibly dangerous--"

Pearl looked away, suddenly ashamed.

"Hey. Chill out," Amethyst said, frowning deeply.

Garnet grit her teeth. "I will /not/ 'chill out' about this. You of all people should know."

"What are you talking-- oh. OH." Amethyst's eyes widened and she rubbed a hand across her face. "Shit. I'm sorry, Garnet. I completely forgot about that."

Pearl stared down at her hands, now busy mangling a napkin out of shape.

She heard Garnet sigh and tore her eyes away from the napkin to see the woman had deflated, her head in her hands and her hands in her curly hair. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "My Mum was in a bad crash a while back. It's, ah, how she got that eyepatch." 

She raised her head, catching Pearl's eyes as she removed her glasses. "I don't want you to go through that-- I don't want /anyone/ to go through that, so please... be careful with your driving, Pearl." 

"Oh," Pearl said, her eyes darting away from the intensity of Garnet's uncovered gaze. "I'm sorry." She hated how her voice wavered, once again unsettled by how the situation was affecting herself. 

Garnet's anger was completely justified and yet Pearl still went from zero to a hundred panic-wise. She had a suspicion her parents were to blame for this one too-- and despite knowing this, she was having a hard time calming down. 

"Pearl?" Garnet called, her voice soft with worry. "Sorry, I should have kept calm."

Pearl's breathing hitched. An apology. Now she really wanted to cry. "Not your fault," she said, promptly closing her mouth when her voice cracked.

"Come on, P. It's okay."

That did it. They were being far too nice, again; it was more than what she deserved. Determined not to create a scene in the restaurant, Pearl ducked her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, taking deep breaths to fight off the tears.

"Sorry," she said after a long moment, rubbing her eyes free of any tears that had escaped. 

Amethyst patted her on the back. "No worries."

Pearl restrained a wince as she noticed Garnet's posture, her shoulders slouched and her mouth set in a subtle frown. Her shades were back over her eyes. Everything about her screamed guilt to Pearl, who in turn, also felt guilty.

It was her fault Garnet felt so awful. If only she hadn't cried. In a restaurant too! It sounded like something her mother would do, cry for sympathy or to put the blame on the other person. Is that what Pearl had done? 

Pearl ran a hand through her ruffled hair, now hyper-aware of the lack of conversation at their table. Fuck. It wasn't like she had cried on purpose. She didn't mean for this to happen. Was she actually manipulative or was she, once again, overreacting? 

Wait, wasn't it her mother who had always told her she was overreacting? Maybe that was another one of her tricks, too.

Agh. Pearl rubbed one of her temples and squeezed her eyes briefly shut. She took another deep breath and released it before she opened her eyes again. "Let's head back," she suggested, eager to be out of the restaurant.

Garnet shrugged, rolling her shoulders. "Alrigh'."

Amethyst snagged the last fry from Garnet's plate and scooted out of the booth seat.

"Hey," Pearl said once they exited the restaurant, away from curious ears. "I'm sorry about... that."

Amethyst shot her a mystified look. "About what?"

"Almost crying in a restaurant of all places, and-- and, the driving," she said, glancing at Garnet beside her. "You're right; I should have been more careful."

Garnet nodded. "Apology accepted," she said simply. "I trust it was probably a one time thing." She flashed Pearl a smile, a peace offering. 

"Of course," Pearl said. She hesitated by the car door.

"Come onnn," Amethyst groaned finally, nudging Pearl so that she stumbled into Garnet's arms. "Hug it out. Everyone's sorry, we're all good."

Pearl caught herself on the front of Garnet's peacoat, laughing slightly at Amethyst and muttering an apology to Garnet all in the same breath. Garnet shushed her with a small smile, and wrapped her arms around her narrow shoulders. 

"You going to join us, Amethyst?" Garnet asked.

"Nah, I'm getting in the car because I'm freezing my ass off, but thank you for the offer," Amethyst said politely, prying one of the car doors open with numb fingers.

\-----

"Hello girls," Sapphire greeted as they filed inside from the garage. 

"Yo," Amethyst said with a grin, obviously more comfortable with Garnet's parents than Pearl, who only waved in response to Sapphire.

"Hey Mum," Garnet said, bending down to kiss her on the cheek, "How was work?"

"Everything went well," Sapphire said, folding her hands primly in her lap.

"You guys have fun?" Ruby asked, coming out of the kitchen and nearly capsizing the enormous bowl of popcorn in her hands as she sat next to her wife on the couch.

Garnet laughed but said "Yes," while Pearl and Amethyst shared a conspiratorial look. "We already ate, so I hope you didn't go to the trouble of making us dinner," Garnet continued.

"Nope, Sapphy said you guys would eat out, so no worries," Ruby said around a mouthful of popcorn. 

"Feel free to join us," Sapphire said, "We're about to find something to watch on tv."

"Attempt to, more like," Ruby added, reaching across the couch for the remote.

Pearl couldn't be so rude as to decline, not when Garnet and Amethyst had already both agreed, so she sat stiffly with the two on the other, smaller couch as an ancient horror movie played on the tv. Amethyst peered across Garnet (who she was leaned against quite comfortably) to shoot Pearl a teasing smirk, no doubt amused by how formal Pearl was treating everything.

Pearl huffed quietly to herself, ignoring Amethyst's antics. Her mind wandered to reflect on the day as the movie played on. Before she knew it, hours had passed and Ruby and Sapphire retired to bed for the night. 

"Goodnight. Sleep well," Garnet called to her parents as they left. 

Pearl relaxed into the couch, resting her head on Garnet's shoulder. 

"They wouldn't have minded, you know," Garnet said, amused as she tilted her head down to look at her. Pearl gave her a drowsy smile.

"Yeah, they're always making out like horny middle schoolers," Amethyst said, "I think they can handle seeing us cuddle."

"Euch." Garnet made a face at Amethyst's description.

"...I've been thinking," Pearl murmured. 

"Mmhm?"

"The university has free counseling, doesn't it? Maybe I should look into that."

"What for?" Amethyst wondered. "You alright?"

Pearl laughed, touched by her concern. "Fine. I just think it would... help with things. My parents mostly. I feel as if I'm a little-- a little damaged."

Amethyst leaned forward. "You're not damaged."

"Well whether I am or not, I think it would be benefici-- Mph!" Pearl suddenly found herself with a face full of pillow. "Amethyst!" she squawked. She rubbed her nose and stared as Amethyst cackled gleefully and dashed behind the couch. 

Garnet held the pillow out to Pearl, an eyebrow raised. Knowing immediately what she had to do, Pearl took the pillow and twisted around to swipe at Amethyst behind the couch.

"Oof! Geez! You hit harder than I thought," Amethyst said, skidding out of Pearl's range. Pearl rose from her seat, slowly approaching with the pillow held tightly in her hands.

"If you're going to start pillow wars," Pearl said, stalking after Amethyst as she darted around the room, "...you should at least be prepared to finish them."

"Woo, you're creepy, P." Amethyst backed away, nearly falling into the coffee table in the process. 

"Careful," Garnet warned from her position on the couch.

Amethyst narrowly caught her balance by flailing her arms like a flustered bird, and then triumphantly turned to face Garnet. "See? I didn't fall." She paused. "Shit, where'd she go?"

It was Pearl's turn to cackle as she lunged at Amethyst from behind, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and dragging her down into the floor. 

"Garnet! Help!" Amethyst raised an arm above the coffee table, the other arm struggling with shoving Pearl off of her chest. 

"Nope."

Pearl finally captured Amethyst's arms and using her own weight, managed to subdue the woman. "Look what I've caught," she singsonged.

"Listen P, don't tickle me or nothin'," Amethyst pleaded.

Pearl laughed deviously, leaning down.... "Mwah!" She kissed the stunned woman on the forehead. "I win."

Garnet gave a polite round of applause as she strolled over to peer down at the two in the floor. "Before you kiss each other and forget what you were talking about," she said, "I think you should do it."

Pearl furrowed her brows. "What exactly? Oh, counseling!"

Garnet nodded. 

"...Yeah," Amethyst conceded, "I've got a friend who goes. Won't be too bad."

"I will then." Pearl grinned, pleased to feel as if she were actually fixing something for once.

Amethyst squirmed. "Hey my hands are going numb."

"Oh! Sorry!" Pearl swiftly released her wrists and sat back, still very much on top of Amethyst's hips. 

"And could you also..." Amethyst motioned to the rest of her body, bucking her hips for emphasis.

Pearl sputtered and blushed even brighter, only now realizing the compromising position they were in. She shifted off of Amethyst and bolted upright, brushing nonexistent dust from her clothes.

"Thanks," Amethyst said, using Garnet's leg to prop herself off the ground. Garnet tugged her up the rest of the way.

Pearl cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. She watched Amethyst bump Garnet with her hip and Garnet fondly ruffle her hair in return. Pearl wet her lips, deciding to ease her over-worrying mind. "So, we're okay, aren't we?" She looked at Garnet as she asked it.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not... still mad at me?" Pearl felt foolish the moment it left her mouth. 

Garnet shook her head. "No. Are you?"

"No. No, I'm just not used to... things blowing over this fast." Pearl rubbed the back of her neck, gaze falling to the floor. "It's. Well. With my parents-- I'm sorry, I talk about them too much-- But they uh, hold grudges, so we always walked on eggshells for days after an argument."

Garnet reached out to tilt Pearl's head up. "I'm only going to be mad for days if you do something truly terrible," she said, chuckling lightly, "But we've resolved it so there's no need to dwell on the matter. Just-- drive safely."

Pearl let her head fall forward onto Garnet's chest. "Okay," she said, closing her eyes. Amethyst wrapped herself around Pearl's waist but didn't say a word, and Garnet squeezed Pearl closer and told her, "It's okay. We're all okay."

Part of her mind still couldn't wrap itself around the notion, but it was becoming easier to accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you guys, seriously. You're awesome.
> 
> EDIT: 5/6/17
> 
> This chapter has been bothering me for a very long time. I'm afraid I played right into that "black women = scary" stereotype with Pearl's reaction to Garnet being upset. I'm so sorry. 
> 
> I've edited it to fix it up a little, and honestly I was tempted to remove that conflict entirely but it's what drives Pearl to seek out therapy, so I've left it in. Hopefully the edits have made it clear that Pearl is the one (I hate to use the word) overreacting due to her previous abuse. Garnet isn't in the wrong at all.
> 
> Very sorry again. I'm finding time and time again that there are still things from my own upbringing that I need to unlearn-- but that's no excuse for the potentially harmful things I've written.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to a better year, enjoy!

Amethyst swung her legs from her perch on top of the kitchen counter. "So how are we gonna do it?"

Pearl shook her head as she opened another cupboard and peered inside. "We follow the recipe, of course." She plucked a glass measuring cup from the shelves and set it on the counter across Amethyst.

"No, no," Amethyst said, "The kiss. At midnight?"

Pearl stilled. "Oh. I forgot about that. Well, we can always skip it," she decided, shrugging. She resumed her plight for baking utensils and ingredients.

"No, I'm gettin' that New Year's kiss, P. From the both of you," she said, turning her head to address Garnet, lounging in the living room and no doubt listening, "And don't suggest I just kiss Garnet."

"I... wasn't going to suggest that," Pearl hedged.

"I think you were," Amethyst said smugly.

"It's just." Pearl sighed. "A three-way kiss, Amethyst? How would that even work?"

"I'm not asking for a full blown make out session, just a little peck. Besides, we've done way more challenging three-way things, righhhhht?" Amethyst waggled her eyebrows.

"Amethyst!" Pearl covered her face and groaned. "Garnet's parents are around here somewhere," she whispered, peeking out from between her fingers.

She heard Garnet chuckle from the living room.

"Fine, fine," Amethyst said, smirking, "Just think about it."

Pearl turned back to her soon-to-be cookies, blushing and unfortunately lacking anything witty to retort back. She took the bowl and added the flour and the sugar and the eggs, stopping after every added ingredient to meticulously study the recipe instructions, her long nose nearly to the paper. She looked over the counter and frowned. 

"Amethyst, I hope you haven't gotten into the chocolate chips," she said before slowly turning around, anticipating the worst.

Amethyst sat on the counter, her eyes wide with mirth and her hands clapped over her mouth, staring at Garnet, who stood frozen with one hand in the chocolate chip bag. 

"...Not Amethyst," Garnet said. She promptly offered the bag to Pearl, an almost sheepish smile on her lips. Pearl only stared, and by now Amethyst had dissolved into a fit of laughter, kicking her legs until she fell off the counter and into the floor. 

Pearl blinked, taking in Garnet's smile and Amethyst's laughter-driven tears. What Pearl had expected to be mild outrage was instead replaced by a fondness that made her heart ache and her chest swell with warmth-- so much she didn't know what to do with it-- and it rose from her chest and out of her mouth before she could think to restrain it.

"I love you."

Garnet's hand tightened around the chocolate chip bag in surprise, an emotion Pearl rarely saw from her, and Amethyst's laughter sputtered to a halt, choking a bit at the abruptness. 

"Wait what? Really?" Amethyst asked.

"Yes," Pearl said, finally snatching the chocolate chip bag from Garnet's hand.

"Even me?" Amethyst said.

"Amethyst..." Pearl bent down to brush the hair away from Amethyst's eyes and sternly said, "Yes of course even you." She ducked her head to give Amethyst a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth.

She chuckled at Amethyst's expression and upon standing up, saw that Garnet's grin had stretched into something huge. 

The woman stepped forward to grasp Pearl's waist and dipped her low. Pearl gave a startled laugh, Amethyst whistled, and then Garnet brought Pearl back to her feet, the grin still on her face.

"Warn me next time," Pearl said, pleasantly flustered from all the attention. "And you're lucky the chocolate didn't spill all over your kitchen floor," she added.

"Amethyst would still eat them."

"Hey!" Amethyst said indignantly. "I mean, you're not wrong..."

The oven chimed, interrupting their laughter to signal that it was finished preheating. Pearl turned back to the bowl of ingredients, intent on finally finishing the cookies.

"Pearl loooooves us," Amethyst teased.

Pearl threw her a look over her shoulder, faking annoyance. "Oh shush."

Garnet leaned against the counter, watching Pearl work. "Perhaps this was all an elaborate ploy to get the chocolate chips back," she mused.

Pearl sputtered as she dumped half the remaining bag of chocolate into the cookie dough and stirred it in. "It most certainly was not," she said, raising the wooden spoon to wave around for emphasis.

Garnet and Amethyst laughed.

\-----

"I think it was... this purple dude, in the library with uh, the candlestick," Amethyst said, knocking another character over as she leaned over the board to collect the mentioned pieces.

Pearl had long since stopped correcting her on the proper names of the characters.

"Anyyyyone?" Amethyst asked. She snagged another cookie from the plate.

"...I can prove you wrong," Ruby admitted before quickly flashing her card to Amethyst.

"Gotcha." Amethyst scribbled something down on her slip of paper and then returned to her previous spot, flung across Pearl's lap like an oversized cat, cookie crumbs everywhere.

Pearl would have been embarrassed (and she was when they first began playing board games with Garnet's parents), but she wasn't anymore, either due to it being very late or the alcohol mellowing her nerves. 

On the tv was coverage of the Times Square ball drop, turned down to a volume low enough to be background noise. "Fifteen minutes," Garnet noted. 

Pearl hummed and rested her head against Garnet's shoulder, and by the ten minute mark she was nodding off. The sound of Sapphire's laughter and Ruby's exasperation with "this silly game I can never beat Sapphy at," created odd half dreams in Pearl's head.

"Pearl." Garnet's voice filtered through those dreams.

"Hmm?"

Garnet chuckled and ruffled her short hair. "Wake up, it's almost midnight."

"...No."

"Oh, Pearlieeeeee," Amethyst sang, tapping her on the cheek, "Wakey, wakey."

Bothered by Amethyst's insistent tapping, Pearl finally raised her head. "Fine, fine," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Did you finish the game?"

"Yeah, like a minute ago. Sapphire won," Amethyst said.

"She usually does," Garnet said, "But I was close."

Pearl squinted at the countdown in the tv. Thirty seconds.

"Are you gonna kiss us?" Amethyst asked, grinning.

Pearl groaned, her eyes dashing over to Garnet's parents to see if they had overheard; luckily, those two were once again caught up in something else, pressed together and intently watching a video on Sapphire's phone.

Garnet, having followed Pearl's gaze, leaned over to explain, "Amethyst recently introduced them to those videos with human voices dubbed over cats."

Pearl blinked. "I've never heard of such of thing."

"What, really?" Amethyst gasped. "Like, they open their mouth to meow but it's actually a guy screaming?"

"What--?"

Ruby sprung up from her seat. "There's the countdown!"

Pearl watched the enormous crowd on tv chant, "...Four ...Three ...Two 

...One! Happy New Year!"

Amethyst laughed and smushed her lips to Garnet's, and breathing out an already embarrassed huff, Pearl leaned forward to kiss them. She drew back but was quickly engulfed in a hug from Amethyst. "Haha! You did it!"

Pearl winced. "Yes yes, I did it, please don't shout in my ear." 

Garnet quieted them both by kissing them, one after the other. "Happy New Year," she said, smirking at their momentarily stunned expressions.

"...Yeah uh, ditto, G."

Pearl laughed at that and tugged Amethyst closer, returning her earlier embrace. Through tufts of Amethyst's hair, she watched Ruby and Sapphire take a celebratory twirl around the room. Garnet chuckled at something, probably her parents, and then wrapped her arms around Amethyst and Pearl.

"Cuddle pile!" Amethyst cheered.

Pearl closed her eyes, content.

"Pearl."

"Yes, Garnet."

"I love you too."

Pearl's eyes sprung open.

"Hah yeah," Amethyst laughed, "I realized we didn't actually say it back to you. My bad."

"I-- I just thought you weren't ready yet," Pearl said, now blushing up to her ears at this turn of events. Everything within her felt light; no wonder Garnet had reacted the way she did earlier.

Amethyst's voice was muffled by Pearl's shoulder, as if wanting to lessen the intimacy of it. "Nah, I'm pretty sure I kinda might love ya, Pearl."

Pearl pressed her lips to the top of Amethyst's head and squeezed her eyes shut, a little overwhelmed. She wanted to sing. She wanted to skip through the living room. She wanted to spin around the house like Ruby and Sapphire. 

While being loved was in and of itself an incredibly pleasant experience, a large part of what was pulling at her heartstrings was the revelation that she was also... accepted. Even with her quirks and her anxieties and her seemingly endless well of emotional issues, they accepted her. 

They loved her.

"Don't cry, Pearl," Garnet said.

Pearl raised her head to give her a watery smile, and in return, Garnet kissed the tip of her nose, one hand reaching up to fix a messy part of Pearl's hair. Amethyst left her refuge in Pearl's shoulder to lean more firmly into Garnet.

The sound of a camera shutter had all three of their heads jerking up.

"Ohh, that's adorable," Ruby squeed at her phone screen. 

"Mom..." Garnet groaned. She untangled herself from the "cuddle pile" and strode towards her mom, only for Ruby to scamper away, giggling. 

"Let me see," Garnet said, still advancing.

Ruby stumbled over a stray board game box before running to hide behind her wife. "You're gonna have to catch me."

"Oh you're on," Garnet said, cracking her knuckles, "Rules?"

Ruby peered from around Sapphire's shoulder but it was Sapphire who spoke. "The kitchen is off limits. That's all."

Ruby piped up. "Anddddd... the living room floor is lava, GO!" She took off down the hallway with Garnet not two steps behind her.

"Does this... happen often?" Pearl asked, baffled.

Amethyst laughed. "All the time."

Sapphire smiled and sat down on the couch. "They'll wear themselves out soon enough. Did you two have a good night?"

"Yup," Amethyst said, stretching out in the floor, "Board games are always good."

"I had fun," Pearl said, still just a little timid.

"I'm glad," Sapphire said, meeting her eyes. "You're very welcome here, Pearl."

"O-oh, I know," Pearl stuttered, thrown off by the sudden statement, "But thank you for telling me. Again."

Sapphire nodded to her, and then turned her head just as Garnet and Ruby bounded into the room, shouting about lava and laughing breathlessly.

Pearl took in the scene with amusement and a deep fondness, wanting to engrave the moment in her mind, all of them together. That same warm feeling from earlier surged in her chest again.

"I need some back up here," Garnet said, slumping over the end of the couch, "She's too fast."

Pearl rose to her feet, grinning.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Anxiety, Shitty Parents (I'm sure you get the gist of the story warnings by now).

"Can I come over?" Pearl typed out and sent. She slipped her phone into her pocket and unlocked the door of her room. Her messenger bag landed on the couch cushions and her books were set down on the coffee table.

A cheerful little "ding!" came from her phone, and Pearl drew it out to read Amethyst's reply.

"Uh yeah. You don't even have to ask at this point."

Pearl let out a low laugh, closing her eyes for a moment to revel in the feeling. With classes finished, all there was left to do was hang out with Garnet and Amethyst-- sometimes for companionship while trudging through yet more studying, and sometimes for romping around campus.

She wasn't feeling very up for the latter (or the former, for that matter) and was quietly relieved to find her girlfriend resting in bed, one eye opened in response to her door creaking. "Hey," Amethyst said, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Did I wake you?" Pearl asked, critically surveying the half messy room, dimmed by the drawn blinds. She resisted clucking disapprovingly over the clutter and stepped inside, pulling the door closed to block the light from the living room. "You could have told me no, you know."

"No, no, I wanted to see ya," Amethyst said. She flipped a corner of the bedsheets over and patted the space beside her. "Wanna take a nap? I'm too beat to do anything else." She smiled ruefully.

"You shouldn't play video games with Peri on school nights," Pearl said, failing to hide her amusement. She sat down on the edge of the bed.

Amethyst laid back down. "You don't get to judge me, Miss I-Stayed-Up-Until-Daybreak-Putting-Together-A-Jigsaw-Puzzle." She stuck her tongue out, nose wrinkling cutely.

Pearl blushed, taking off her coat and shoes as an excuse to look away. "That-- that was one time," she protested. She folded her coat and set it primly on her shoes, eyes still averted.

"Suuuuuuure." Amethyst gently tugged Pearl so that she laid down next to her. "Or maybe it was just the first time we actually caught you in the act."

Pearl pulled the covers up to her chin and curled contentedly into Amethyst's side. She was warm and soft and comforting, and Pearl happily smushed her face into the crook of Amethyst's neck. "Mmhm. How was your day?"

Amethyst chortled. "Tiring, as you can see. How was yours?"

"Not bad." She sighed, staving off residual stress. Amethyst's hand found hers under the blankets. "Went to counseling."

"Oh yeah," Amethyst remembered, "How'd that go?"

"It was... a little harder than the first one. Stressful," Pearl admitted. "I cried half of the time I was there--" 

"Aw, P..."

"And they seem to know exactly where to poke," Pearl mused, squeezing Amethyst's hand. Amethyst extracted her free arm out from under Pearl to wrap around her waist, squeezing back reassuringly.

"Are they mean or something?"

Pearl shook her head. "No. Some things are hard to talk about, I guess."

"Well..." Amethyst paused, "Is it helping?"

Pearl furrowed her brows and blew out a contemplative puff of air, to which Amethyst shivered and inched away. "Sorry," Pearl laughed.

"You can't just blow air in people's ears," Amethyst teased. "Geesh, Pearl."

Pearl hummed a laugh, pushing herself up so she hovered above Amethyst. Familiar butterflies stirred within her as she gazed at Amethyst, her long hair splayed out around her like a halo and her eyelids weighed down with the call of sleep. Adorable.

"What?" A faint blush appeared on Amethyst's cheeks.

"You're adorable," Pearl repeated, leaning down to graze her nose past Amethyst's, almost, almost kissing her.

Amethyst sputtered. "D-don't you ignore the question. And quit teasing." 

"You distracted me," Pearl murmured, holding back a devious chuckle. "But--" She sighed, growing serious once more. "--I don't think counseling works right away, as much as I wish it did. I'll have to wait and see. I really hope it does work."

"I hope it does, too."

\-----

Pearl woke up with that sort of horrible grogginess that comes with afternoon naps and grumbled, shifting to turn onto her back only to be stopped by someone else's chest. She raised a hand to feel behind her, even though she already knew who it was.

"Hello Pearl," Garnet said, chuckling. She drew Pearl's curious hand away from her face to save her glasses from being smudged. "Have a nice nap?"

"Yes." Pearl in turn pulled Garnet's hand over to lay half a dozen clumsy kisses to her knuckles, and Garnet laughed at her how bravely affectionate she was when half asleep. "I haven't seen you all day," Pearl complained.

"I had to finish up some work in the library this morning."

"I know." Pearl wanted to drift back into sleep against Garnet's chest, her steady breathing like a lullaby.

Garnet laughed again and moved to sit up. "No, no, no. You and Amethyst can't sleep through dinner tonight."

"Right," Amethyst mumbled from under her pillow, "Forgot... 'bout that."

Pearl begrudgingly agreed with Garnet and dragged herself out of bed. She managed to make herself look like she hadn't just been drooling in her sleep and they were soon out the door, speed-walking through the cold courtyard to take refuge in the cafeteria.

Pearl and Garnet quickly got their food and ducked out of Amethyst's way as she scurried around the buffet tables taking a hodgepodge of everything.

"Garnet! Pearl! Over here!" Peridot waved them over to her table. "Look! They put chicken nuggets in the Chinese food today! Isn't that hilarious?"

Pearl made a face and muttered something about sacrilege under her breath before taking a seat beside Lapis, who was intently drawing something in a sketchbook. Garnet leaned over to glance at the work as she sat. "Nice art," she commented.

Lapis didn't look up, but she gave a small smile. "Thanks."

Amethyst finally made her way to the table only to be greeted by a repeat of Peridot's exclamation about the Chinese food. "Ohhh what, I'm getting some of that," she declared, turning right back around with her plate.

"She's going to go get the-- ahah!" Peridot burst into a bout of laughter, kicking her feet under the table.

"The ripoff Chinese food? What do they spend our money on anyway?" Lapis asked dryly. She brushed eraser shavings from her paper.

"Is that... Dewey?" Pearl asked, watching Lapis shade something on the university president's poorly fitting suit.

"Yeah, but I just can't get his pathetic goatee right." Lapis straightened and put the sketchbook at arm's length to examine it from afar. 

"He has a goatee now?" Pearl asked.

"An attempt," said Garnet.

Lapis snorted, putting the sketchbook down. "Ouch."

Amethyst plopped her plate down next to Peridot. "Who has a goatee?"

"President Dewey," Peridot said.

Amethyst put her fork down to laugh. "I've seen it. It's not even a goatee; it's like a messed up soul patch." She tapped a finger to her chin to demonstrate, her face taking on an expression nearly identical to Dewey's.

Pearl muffled her laughter with her hand, but multiple less than pleasant memories of his incompetence eased away her guilt over laughing so much.

"Mm, you might want to put that drawing away, Lapis," Garnet said, closely watching something across the cafeteria.

"What? Why? It's beautiful," Peridot said. Her eyes widened, following Garnet's gaze to see Dewey making his way through the room. "Ah! He's going to pass by our table! Lapis!"

Lapis flashed her a mischievous smile. "Why should I? You said it's beautiful, so he shouldn't mind it, right?"

"Lapis!" Peridot squeaked.

Amethyst belted out a laugh, but Pearl in contrast agreed with Peridot on this one, nervously watching Dewey get closer and closer to their table. He fidgeted with his tie, only glancing up to avoid chairs and peer at the students.

"Lapis," Pearl whispered, "At least don't make it so obvious."

"Here, Amethyst, do you think you could set this on top of your head?" Lapis asked innocently, handing the sketchbook over.

Amethyst grinned. "Oh I definitely could." 

Pearl groaned while Garnet continued eating, quietly observing the chaos.

"Amethyst! You can't disrespect--" Peridot leapt to her feet in an attempt to confiscate the sketchbook, but Amethyst skillfully avoided her flailing arms, keeping the drawing out of reach.

Dewey was bound to pass their table any moment now. Pearl searched the cafeteria for him and panicked; he was closer than she thought. She lunged across the table and snatched the drawing from Amethyst, flinging herself over it and crossing her arms in a poor attempt to act casual.

Dewey startled at the sudden movement, raising a confused eyebrow at the group but continuing his stroll to the staff room.

"You made it worse," Peridot groaned.

"Heh, smooth," Amethyst teased, tossing a grape at Pearl's shoulder. Pearl grumbled and raised her head in time to watch Lapis flick the grape back across the table to Amethyst, who then ate it. Pearl shuddered.

"Well, I wasn't about to let him see that drawing," she argued, "Lapis made him look even redder and sweatier than usual."

Peridot rubbed her face worriedly. "But now he probably thinks we were hiding a drug deal. Oh, my good reputation," she bemoaned.

"Psh. My notebook looks nothing like drugs," Lapis said, "Your reputation is safe with me." She patted Peridot on the head.

Pearl grabbed the sketchbook to return to Lapis, grimacing as she caught sight of food smeared on the paper. "Sorry." 

Lapis shrugged. "It looks like true meep morp now; I'll cherish it forever."

Pearl wasn't sure what meep morp was, but she nodded anyway.

"You've got a bit of..." Garnet pointed at her shirt.

Pearl glanced over her outfit and winced, realizing she had also gotten food on her shirt. The dive across the table must have done it. "Ugh, and a good shirt, too. I should wash this out."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Garnet asked.

"No, it's fine," Pearl said as she stood, "You and Peridot have to stay to keep those two--" She gestured to Amethyst and Lapis. "--in order."

"Aye aye, captain," Peridot said with a smart little salute. She fixed Lapis with a stern gaze, crossing her arms importantly. "You hear that, Lazuli?"

Lapis smirked. "Yeah good luck with that."

Pearl fondly shook her head at the group and turned to find a bathroom to rinse the stain out of her shirt. Darn that Chinese food.

"Don't get lost!" Amethyst called.

Murmuring "Why on earth would I get lost?" to herself, Pearl walked past a dwindling line of cafeteria-goers and left the cafeteria. She pushed open the door to the restroom and turned on the faucet to dab at the stain. 

"Well. It could be worse," she said, studying the mostly scrubbed away stain on her shirt. She stiffened, suddenly aware that she was talking to herself in a bathroom that may not be empty. She listened intently for a moment, faint noise from the cafeteria as well as a leaking faucet meeting her ears.

It didn't seem like anyone was th--

"BRRrrrring!"

Pearl startled, a hand flying to her chest to still her jumping heart as she wrenched her phone from her back pocket. Her eyebrows furrowed as she read the caller id. Why would the front desk of her dorm complex call her at this hour?

"Hello?"

"Ah yes, is this Pearl?"

"...Yes?"

"Good. Your parents are here for a visit. I just need you to confirm so I can let them upstairs and that'll--."

"NO!" Pearl clapped a hand over her mouth. "No," she said again, only a little calmer this time, "Don't send the them up."

"What?" 

Pearl swallowed nervously at the disbelief she heard on the other end of the call.

"So. Don't let your parents come see you? At all? I can stall them for a few minutes if you have like, a naked guy over at your place or something."

"No uh." Pearl massaged her forehead, trying not to think about the fact that her parents were most likely standing a room away from the person at the dorm front desk. Or the fact that they were /at her college campus/ right now.... Is any place safe?

"Uh, just, uh no, you don't have to stall. Don't let them up. At all," Pearl said. She pressed her free hand to the edge of the cool porcelain sink, leaning over it. It was suddenly far too hot for a barely air-conditioned bathroom during the winter. She imagined she was sweatier than Lapis's picture of president Dewey by now.

"Uhh... okay?" The front desk employee went quiet for a moment, muffled voices coming through instead. Pearl felt her heart skitter into her throat and her pulse pound because that voice-- that voice was definitely her mother's.

The situation became a bit more real. 

"Hey, uh, they want to talk to you."

"No! Absolutely not--" Pearl's grip on her phone tightened. "And do /not/ let them in my dorm room," she commanded. 

She ended the call.

Pearl set her phone down on the sink, staring at her shaking hands in horror. "Fff-fuck," she whispered, "That's... alarming." She took a deep breath, but it came back out faster than she would have liked. She felt exposed. Wanted to run and hide somewhere but-- but where? 

If her parents were at her college now-- encroaching on one of her few truly safe places and-- Jesus-- they could barge through the door right now and demand she go back home with them-- Nowhere was safe anymore-- Was it ever safe-- Was--

Why couldn't she calm down? Calm down. Pearl pulled away from the sink and ran her clammy hands through her hair. Just calm down already.

Oh, how her parents would roll their eyes.

Get over it.

How pathetic--

Pearl stilled, lips pressed together into a line. Rose would be so worried if she knew she had started thinking like this again. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

It's okay.

The thought rang through her mind in Garnet's voice. 

And Amethyst, she would attempt to lighten things up with an awkward joke.

Why was she repeating her parents' words when she could have been repeating her friends' words? They were much kinder, so much easier on her than her parents ever were.

She took another deep breath, leaning back against the wall by the sink. 

It's okay.

She supposed years of hearing her parents' comments had earned their voices a firmly ingrained place in her mind. She wondered how long it would take for them to fade away.

It's okay.

Pearl reopened her eyes some time later, calmer now. She picked up her phone and returned it to her pocket, pleased to see her hands were much steadier this time. She still felt a bit unwell, shivering slightly at the the sweat cooling on her body. 

Maybe she should go back. Pearl glanced at the door and pushed away from the wall, intent on rejoining her friends before she succumbed to panic again.

"Oh." Pearl opened the door to find Garnet just about to walk in herself. 

"You were gone quite a while. Are you alright?" Garnet asked. She took off her shades, clearly concerned.

"Better now, but let's get back to the table," Pearl said hurriedly. She grabbed Garnet's hand and led them into the cafeteria, glancing behind her shoulder every so often because she still felt like something was going to snatch her up, no matter how irrational the thought was.

She sat down in her seat, and Garnet followed, shooting her a questioning look. 

"Did you fall down the toilet?" Amethyst teased.

"My parents just tried to visit," Pearl explained, "The dorm called."

Amethyst's smile fell for a moment. "Well, symbolically I guess you did then."

Peridot and Lapis didn't know Pearl's situation like Garnet and Amethyst did, but they knew enough to realize this was a bad thing. "Did you tell them to fuck off?" Lapis asked.

"No. I hung up before they could get on the phone. Hah, this is what I get for blocking their numbers," Pearl said with a weak laugh.

"Do you think they'll hang around long?" Amethyst asked. "You know, waiting for you to show up or something."

Pearl grimaced, worrying her fingers together. "I hadn't thought of that. Maybe."

"Sneak in through the back," Garnet suggested.

Lapis gestured towards Peridot. "You could stay at Peri's for a while."

"What? Why mine?" 

"You're in the other building," Lapis pointed out, eyes glinting with mischief.

"...I suppose you could," Peridot conceded. "But I have a very important game to play, so don't interrupt me."

Amethyst poked Peridot in the shoulder. "Aw, someone's a nerrrrrrd."

"Am not!"

Pearl shook her head. "I wouldn't want to intrude."

"I mean--" Peridot looked away, drumming her fingers nervously on the table. "I wasn't saying no. Just don't bother me."

"We could have a sleepover!" Amethyst exclaimed.

"But it's a school night."

"Pshhh, it'll be fine."

\-----

"Pearl?" Amethyst called.

"Hmm?" Pearl didn't look up from her game, too focused on dodging another attack from Peridot on screen. She rapidly pressed the buttons and tilted to the side, as if that would help with the movement of the machine on the screen any.

"We're kinda fucked for our classes tomorrow, aren't we?" 

Pearl froze, turning her head to stare at Amethyst, who was curled up on the couch with a slumbering Garnet. "...Oh."

Lapis laughed, bubbly from lack of sleep, and Peridot cackled as she destroyed Pearl's robot.

"Take that, you clod!"

\-----

The three returned to their own dorms the next morning, groaning over poor decisions and muscles stiff from sleeping in the floor.

"I can't wait to get into a real bed," Amethyst said while trying to stretch out her spine, almost cat-like. Pearl and Garnet murmured their agreement.

Pearl frowned as they came upon her door, a grocery bag hanging off the handle. 

"That's odd," Garnet commented.

Pearl plucked a sticky note from the bag and read the message out loud, "Your parents left this for you." She opened the bag and groaned yet again.

"She wouldn't give this up unless she really meant it," Pearl realized, pulling out the old, worn-out Bible and staring at it in both awe and dismay. "It was her mother's."

"Increase the guilt trip tactics to ten," Amethyst announced, pretending to pilot a rocket ship.

Pearl smiled wanly, the book weighing heavy in her hand. "I can't say it's not working." She flipped through the pages with her thumb, stilling at the discovery of more sticky notes. Her mother's handwriting was unusually sloppy, and Pearl suddenly had the image of her mother snagging sticky notes from the front desk to furiously write down whatever she had intended to say to Pearl in person.

Pearl snapped the book shut with a sigh. She didn't need this.

"Well, what's it say?" Amethyst asked, tugging on Pearl's arm to peer at the book.

Pearl handed the Bible to her and turned to unlock her door. "You and Garnet can read it if you want. Just give me a summary." She pushed her door open and walked inside, motioning for Amethyst and Garnet to follow.

"I can do that! Okay so..." Amethyst went quiet to read, her tongue poking out of her mouth in concentration. "Here she's basically saying you're going to Hell, but she said it in a nice way?"

Pearl moved her messenger bag from off the couch to make room for the other two. She sat down, comforted when Garnet did likewise, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

Instead of joining them, Amethyst placed the Bible on the coffee table and knelt in the floor to study the notes in it. "I think this one's from your Dad. He says he's sorry for whatever they did to turn you into a "polygamous heathen" and he thinks he's gonna lose his job because of how stressed he is over this."

"Summarize, summarize please," Pearl urged, closing her eyes to rest her head back against Garnet's arm. Garnet grunted and shifted, causing Pearl to lift her head again. "What's wrong?"

Garnet rubbed at her neck, grimacing. "My neck got a little messed up."

"Oh, yeah." Amethyst looked up from the sticky notes. "You fell asleep in a weird position. I shoulda woke you, sorry G."

"It's okay," Garnet said, wincing slightly.

Pearl sat up, a hand hovering uncertainly by Garnet's shoulder. "Here, uh, I could...?"

Garnet paused for a moment. "...Go ahead." 

Pearl set her hand on Garnet's shoulder and gently guided her position so she could better massage her neck. "Stop me if I do something wrong," she said.

"Mmh, I will."

Amethyst pointedly coughed, "Disgusting."

"You're just jealous," Garnet said with a smirk. Pearl hesitantly began to massage the place where Garnet's neck met her shoulders; Garnet immediately relaxed and breathed out a "Thank you."

Amethyst flipped through the pages of the book, searching for more sticky notes. "Uh, hell yeah I'm jealous," she said matter-of-factly.

Garnet hummed a quiet laugh, and Pearl restrained her own chuckle, determined not to accidentally press too hard into Garnet's neck and hurt her. She felt Garnet sigh heavily, shoulders rising and falling under her hands.

"I won't want to go to class after this," Garnet warned them.

Pearl actually did laugh at that, pleased that she was doing a decent enough job. "We have a little time," she reassured her.

"Not enough." Garnet leaned back against Pearl's front, and Pearl smiled warmly, circling her arms around her girlfriend's waist. She pecked a kiss to Garnet's cheek before resting her chin against her shoulder.

"Ah ha! Pearl!"

Pearl frowned, peering past Garnet's hair. "I'm right here, Ameth--"

"Your sister!" Amethyst jumped to her feet, grinning in excitement, and shoved the sticky note into Pearl's hand. "She's staying here, too!"

"What?" Pearl reluctantly pulled away from Garnet to read over the note, the angry scrawl almost illegible: "And I don't know what lies you told Yellow but she's decided stay in this godforsaken state and I want you to know that you are solely responsible for ruining your baby sister--"

"...Yellow?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So despite having more time this semester, I guess it's just easier to sit in the library and numb myself to five hours worth of YouTube videos? (Yeah, I don't know either) I really do enjoy writing this story, but updates are just gonna be slow during school (oh, what I would give for it to be summer again). 
> 
> Despite that, I hope you liked the chapter! Cuddles are so fun to write. And next time: Yellow is back! (or rather, she never left).


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you weren't expecting much plot lol. It's all fluff; fluff that somehow got kind of sexual. Sorry (but not sorry enough to change it!) (It's not smut, so don't worry about that either. They're just being dorks. I love them.)
> 
> Enjoy!

"Wish me-- Oh goodness, sorry!" Pearl backed out of the doorway, blushing at the sight of Amethyst and Garnet making out on the bed, both fully clothed to her relief (or disappointment, if she would let herself admit it). 

Amethyst pulled away from Garnet, flashing Pearl a salacious grin. "Heya P, wanna join?" 

"Uhhh..." Pearl momentarily forgot her words. This was not the sort of situation she had expected when she entered Garnet and Amethyst's dorm, but by now she probably should have seen it coming.

"We'll have to push the beds together for that." Garnet laughed breezily, leaning back against the pillows. She reached up to tug one of Amethyst's tank top straps into place despite the fact that it was most likely about to come off entirely.

"I'm tempted," Pearl managed to say, "But I really need to meet with Yellow. She won't be too happy to learn I flaked on her when it was me who wanted to meet up in the first place." 

Amethyst blew a puff of air that shifted her bangs out of her eyes. "That's a bummer."

"Should we wait on you?" Garnet asked, ever considerate. 

"No, don't worry about it." Pearl shook her head, hand on the door knob. "I'll see you two later. Wish me luck!"

"Wait, don't go yet," Amethyst said.

Pearl paused, looking over her shoulder with narrowed her eyes, suspicious as well as amused. "For what exactly?"

"Just a good luck kiss," Amethyst explained, shrugging a bit too innocently.

Garnet hummed doubtfully. "I wouldn't trust that. Leave while you can, Pearl." 

Amethyst playfully shushed Garnet, only for it to be retaliated with a bout of tickling. Pearl watched Amethyst collapse on the bed, giggling and squirming away from Garnet's fingers.

"Escape," Garnet whispered to Pearl, nodding over to the door.

Pearl laughed, "I'm not that mean," and instead did the opposite of what Garnet suggested, entering the room and saving Amethyst from the tickle attack. 

"Alright, I'll let you go since Pearl insists," Garnet teased, poking Amethyst's round nose.

"My savior," Amethyst said, laying limply on the bed and catching her breath. "Geez, Garnet, I have killer abs now."

"You're welcome," Garnet said.

Pearl chuckled and bent down to kiss Amethyst on the forehead. "There," she said, straightening up again.

"What? No, that didn't count," Amethyst insisted, pushing herself up. "I gotta kiss /you/."

"Oh fine." Pearl rolled her eyes amicably and leaned down.

Amethyst chuckled, still out of breath from the tickling, and took Pearl's face in her hands for... not a simple kiss, and Pearl had expected it wouldn't be, having read the mischief in Amethyst's eyes correctly, but she hadn't expected Amethyst to kiss her so intensely that she lost balance and fell over into their laps.

"There!" Amethyst pulled away, laughing heartily. "Sorry P, I didn't mean to knock you over."

Pearl felt the bed shift before Garnet wrapped her arms around her waist, chuckling by her ear. "You're very warm," she pointed out.

Pearl blinked out of her daze. "Amethyst," she grumbled, flushed.

"Hey, don't you have a thing you have to go to?" Amethyst asked, acting oblivious.

Pearl scowled, but not in too serious a manner. Now all she wanted to do was kiss them both, but she had to go see her sister. She supposed it was her fault for indulging Amethyst-- and for overestimating her own willpower.

"You do," Garnet said, ruffling her hair before releasing her, "You better get going."

"You two are awful," Pearl declared, rising unsteadily from the bed. "Absolutely awful--"

Amethyst raised her hands in a placating gesture but giggled. Garnet flopped back down on the pillows, tugging Amethyst so that she toppled over as well with a "Oomph."

"Ughhh." Pearl rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath, centering herself. Would it really be so bad if she cancelled on Yellow? She shook her head briskly to clear it. "Okay. Now I'm going, for real this time."

"Best of luck," Garnet said, pushing her glasses up so that Pearl could catch her wink.

Amethyst waved a hand. "You already got all my luck, P."

\-----

"Oh, uh, she isn't back yet," Yellow's disheveled roommate said, glancing back into the dorm as if to make sure. "But you can sit down and wait inside if you want."

Pearl nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem. I'll just be in my room," she said, quickly slipping out of sight.

Pearl carefully moved some crumpled papers and sat down on a plastic chair by the standard wobbly dorm room table. She sighed, tilting her head back. It was a little frustrating to see that even after trying not to be late herself, Yellow was late anyway. She could have spent more time with Garnet and Amethyst.

She pulled out her phone and texted them about her disgruntlement. "She's not even here yet."

Her phone went silent for quite a few minutes, and Pearl realized she probably shouldn't have expected a reply at all considering Amethyst and Garnet were... busy. 

After figuring that Yellow and her roommate would /not/ appreciate her tidying up the trash strewn about their dorm, Pearl settled on playing some mindless tapping game on her phone. She was just about to break her high score when her phone dinged, causing the game to stutter. Pearl exited the game to check the text, eyebrows raising as she read Garnet and Amethyst's chat messages.

"We could entertain you," Garnet's text said.

Amethyst's message followed that up with half a dozen winking smiley faces, and Pearl had to put her face in her hands. She peered through her fingers at the room around her; it was empty, but now she was afraid her sister would barge into the room.... But then again, she /was/ bored, and Yellow was at least ten minutes late.

"Nothing too scandalous," Pearl stealthily texted out.

"What ever made you think we were going in that direction?" Garnet asked, teasing evident even over text.

Pearl laughed, fingers grazing over the screen. "Amethyst's winky faces certainly didn't help."

"No, I don't suppose they did," Garnet replied. "We'll keep it PG-13 at least."

"Thank you."

Pearl didn't receive a reply after that, making her wonder what they were scheming or if the text she had sent was so short they simply couldn't think of anything to say. 

She looked around at Yellow's empty dorm and sighed. Did Yellow forget? It was unlike her to be late for something like this-- actually, it was unlike her to be late at all. Pearl opened her conversation with Yellow and sent her a quick, "Are you still coming?"

"Ding!"

Pearl saw that Garnet and Amethyst had responded with a picture captioned, "Draw me like one of your French girls." In the picture, Amethyst lounged on the couch, partially clothed and with a grin almost too gleeful to be sultry. 

"Amethyst." Pearl laughed softly.

Another ding.

Garnet sent a picture of her own drawing, a messy sketch on lined paper with little hearts around the Amethyst-shaped figure. "What do you think? Better than Jack?"

Pearl covered her mouth with her fingertips, deeming the warm smile that rose up too vulnerable for even an empty room to see. "How did I get so lucky?" she wondered, eyes briefly stinging with grateful tears. Garnet and Amethyst were both so great, she almost couldn't understand why they lov-- Poor thinking, poor thinking; she really ought to fix that.

She took a deep breath and resumed the conversation, a little smile returning to her lips. "It's much better than Jack's. I'd put it on my fridge."

Amethyst replied almost immediately, "You'd put me on your fridge? Thanks P."

"Of course," Pearl sent, playing along, "I'd stick you and Garnet up using my fanciest magnets."

"You must have some big magnets," Garnet's text read.

Pearl heard rustling and looked up from her phone to see Yellow stumble through the door, a grocery bag in each hand. 

"Sorry I'm late," Yellow said, shoving her door closed and dropping the bags on the messy table. "I didn't think getting food would take so long-- numbskull in front of me kept going back for more groceries while he was in the goddamn checkout line and I had to walk because I don't have a fucking car anymore--" Yellow paused to breathe. "But anyway, I bought you a sandwich."

"...Thanks," said Pearl quizzically. 

Yellow slumped into her chair, looking uncharacteristically frazzled and unkempt, but her mouth was still twisted sourly and that was an oddly comforting constant. She unwrapped her sandwich, making a face as she critically examined the contents. "They practically drowned it in mayonnaise. Disgusting."

Pearl hadn't unwrapped her sandwich yet, wracking her brain for something way to begin the conversation she had intended. Luckily Yellow did it for her.

"We're fucked," Yellow said suddenly, the look in her eyes telling Pearl that she wasn't talking about mayonnaise this time. "If I don't find a job and some place to live I'm going to be homeless. You too, you know, and why--" She made a frustrated gesture with her hands, laughing humorlessly. "Why did I follow after you and your idealistic hippie crap, ughh...."

Pearl frowned, offended. "Well, I didn't make you do any of that so don't pin this on me."

Yellow rubbed her faced with her hands. "Godddd. Did you even have a plan? How did you expect to get by?"

"I... no, I didn't have a plan," Pearl admitted quietly, "It was a little... spur of the moment."

"We have to get jobs and then get the cheapest apartment we can find-- I'm going to have to drop out of college--" Yellow groaned.

Pearl wasn't sure how to console her; all that big sister stuff was Blue's job, and Blue wasn't even very good at it. "So we're on the same page about rooming together then," she said, unwrapping her sandwich. She took a bite and yeah, definitely too much mayonnaise.

"Yeah." Yellow sighed and picked at her own sandwich. "We're not going to able to pay for it otherwise."

"I agree," Pearl said, "...I have a friend who might be able to get me a job on campus. I can see if she can pull some strings for you too, but don't expect it to work out."

Yellow scrunched her face up. "One of your girlfriends?"

"Oh, no," Pearl laughed, "It's Peridot. Awkward computer science major." 

She thought back to that night they had spent at Peridot's dorm; at one point, Pearl had voiced her frustration over the video game and then her situation in life itself, to which Peridot cockily assured her that she could easily get her a job on campus. Amethyst had laughed so hard she almost woke Garnet.

Pearl doubted how much influence Peridot had over these things, but for now it was the only lead she had. Her financial wellbeing was in the hands of a small, video game-addicted nerd and she wasn't too sure how to feel about that.

"Well, it's something at least," Yellow said, sighing.

In the uneasy silence that followed, Pearl eyed the bumpy pattern of the cheap table and unsuccessfully tried to quell her rising self-consciousness, while Yellow surgically picked apart her sandwich, making slight noises of disapproval at each ingredient. 

Pearl's phone lit up with another message-- a picture, rather-- and in her eagerness to have something to do, she unthinkingly opened it with her phone still flat on the table. As a result, Yellow caught an eyeful of Pearl's goofy girlfriends miming a pole dance on a floor lamp.

Pearl scooped her phone up, clutching it to her chest. "Goodness! Sorry, that-- that wasn't what, well, it was, but uhhm... Just, just ignore that."

Yellow was red up to her ears, mortified. She cleared her throat. "Right. Okay."

Pearl set her phone down-- screen facing down this time-- and twisted her hands together in front of her on the table. She exhaled, trying to clear away a blush herself. She stared at her half-eaten sandwich.

For some reason, the incident had reminded her of a certain suspicion she held. "Yellow?"

"What?" Yellow muttered, still grouchy with embarrassment.

"Why did you stay?" Pearl watched Yellow flush once again, eyes dashing to the side guiltily. "...You could have gone back home."

"Yeah well--" Yellow waved a hand flippantly. "If you recall, it wasn't too great living under their roof." She still didn't meet Pearl's eyes.

"Hm." Pearl let it go and set about finishing her sandwich.

\-----

Pearl snuck into her girlfriends' dorm later that afternoon. She halfway expected to find Garnet and Amethyst passed out in the bedroom, but instead found them on the couch watching what sounded like a bad horror movie. 

Amethyst grinned. "Hey, Pearl! How'd it go with your sis?" 

"About as well as I thought it would," Pearl said vaguely, "Yellow is still an enigma." 

"Snooty," Amethyst supplied.

"That's one way to put it," Pearl murmured. She sat down at Garnet's side, not wanting to get between the two as Amethyst was already tucked cozily into Garnet's shoulder, a thick blanket surrounding them. 

"You survived," Garnet said wryly, tugging the blanket over to engulf Pearl as well. 

Pearl made a noise of protest, popping out from underneath the blanket, hair ruffled. She set Garnet with a playful glare, pushing her hair out of her face. "You both still aren't dressed," she said, noting Garnet's shirtless state hidden beneath the fuzzy blanket.

"We are /mostly/ dressed," Garnet insisted, smirking.

Pearl looked away out of politeness only for Amethyst to catch her eye and intentionally let the blanket slip down to her waist. Pearl flushed and blinked dumbly before jerking her head towards the tv, a little squeaking noise forming in her throat.

Amethyst snickered, but then paused, eyes widening. "Wait, we're not actually making you uncomfortable, are we?" 

"Uhh..." Pearl sputtered for a moment.

Frowning in concern, Garnet tilted her head down to watch Pearl's expression. "Pearl?"

"Uncomfortable isn't the word I would use," Pearl said with a laugh. She hurried on before their concern could grow. "And it's nothing bad! If it was, I'd tell you, promise."

Garnet's furrowed eyebrows relaxed, and she rested an arm around Pearl's shoulders, pulling her close to kiss her temple. "Please do."

"But, uh, for one thing," Pearl began, recalling earlier, "That last picture you two sent me wasn't exactly what I would call PG-13."

"Oh," Garnet uttered, grimacing a little. "I forgot I made that promise."

"I suspected," Pearl said, "I wouldn't have minded, but my sister saw it--"

Amethyst snorted. "Wait? Your sister? I would have paid money to see her face, oh god." She cackled at the thought. "What did she do? Flick some holy water on you?" 

"She turned very red and then we both agreed to pretend it didn't happen."

Amethyst threw her head back and covered her eyes with her forearm, barely attempting to stifle her laughter. Garnet, on the other hand, shifted in her seat. "I'm sorry."

"No harm done," Pearl said, reaching up to pat the hand on her shoulder, "It /was/ a little embarrassing, but I think Yellow was more upset than I was." 

Garnet pressed her lips to Pearl's temple again. "Mm. Alright."

Pearl leaned her head against Garnet's and focused on the television once more-- a soon-to-be victim tripped on a tree root; Pearl fought the urge to roll her eyes-- but soon found her attention wandering. Especially to those not so PG-13 pictures.

"Hey, um." Pearl coughed awkwardly, already blushing.

Amethyst had mostly recovered by then, wiping the last of the laughter-induced tears on the blanket. "Yeah, what's up, P?"

Pearl wrinkled her nose at Amethyst's actions but persevered. Tried to, at least. "Well, ah, I had to leave earlier when you two were..." 

Amethyst nodded, looking a tad puzzled as to where Pearl was going with this. Garnet, however, smiled as if she knew exactly where this was headed. 

"...And uh, I'm here now so...uh." Pearl swore internally, rubbing her forehead. What was she thinking? She should have just initiated things with kissing, not with words. She caught sight of Garnet's lips pressed into a straight line, twitching corners and mirthful eyes betraying her act. 

"I know you know what I'm trying to say, Garnet," Pearl said, poking Garnet in the chest, "You're going to make me spell it out, aren't you?"

Garnet tilted her head towards the ceiling, doing little to hide her amusement. "I've no idea what you're taking about."

"Oh yes you do."

"Oh!" Amethyst's face lit up with understanding. "Why didn't you just say you wanted to fu--"

Pearl covered her ears. "Amethyst! So vulgar!"

"Pshh, I've heard you say 'Fuck' before. Why can't I?"

"The context is different," Pearl argued, face burning. She pushed the blanket away from herself, too overheated.

Amethyst stuck her tongue out, casting her an unconvinced look. "Suuuuuure."

"Yes," Garnet said abruptly.

Pearl stared. No one was making any sense anymore. "Yes, what?"

"Yes, let's do it," Garnet clarified, "Before you explode out of embarrassment." She brushed a hand over Pearl's red ears. "It was brave of you to ask; I don't think you've done that with us before."

"Oh. Thank you." An unusual compliment, Pearl thought. 

"Or just like, make out with us and we'll get the point," Amethyst teased, eyes sparkly.

"That's usually how I would go about it," Pearl said, standing up to escape the last of the blanket's clutches, "But sometimes it seems rude to just... kiss someone out of the blue."

"Understandable," Garnet said, "Now, where would you like to do this?"

Pearl flushed again at the sudden shift in conversation. "Oh, well, um." She shrugged and acted on an impulse, sitting down on Garnet's lap and surprising everyone in the room, including herself. "Uh, is this okay?"

"I'd say so," Garnet breathed.

"Wow, when did you get game, P?"

Pearl scoffed lightheartedly; she was blushing much too hard to be smooth, but nevertheless she leaned in to kiss Garnet, Amethyst clapped her on the back, and the night dissolved beneath her closed eyelids.

Lucky, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it seems like it takes me about a month to get these out (College is killing me, guys. I don't know how people do it), I'll see you then!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I thought I wasn't going to write another chapter with the whole study group gang together but it somehow ended up happening anyway. Which is great because, shenanigans. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Pearl didn't know how, but she was hired. 

The interview went surprisingly well. Surprising because she was an engineering major applying for a job in the financial aid office, but she supposed most people could at least handle filing documents and answering phone calls, even if the latter was a bit nerve-wracking. 

By her third week she was helping panicked freshmen figure out the tuition payment website or directing them to someone who could assist them better, and overall, the job wasn't too awful. Much better than awful, actually.

Pearl thanked her lucky stars and the dubious practice of nepotism (if Peridot's involvement meant anything) and tried to quell the voice that whispered that she was undeserving. 

Yellow still hadn't found a job yet.

\-----

"Hey."

Pearl looked up from the desktop computer to see Lapis leaning over the counter, chin resting on her arms, bobbed blue hair fluffing out a little.

"Hello Lapis," Pearl said with some amusement. "Filling out more scholarships?" 

"Nah, my brain isn't working enough for that today," Lapis said, "Got any good gossip?"

Pearl scoffed and finished typing a sentence out. "I never do, Lapis. I don't know why you still try."

Since first meeting Lapis, Pearl wasn't ever sure whether Lapis enjoyed her company or tolerated it, likewise for their group-- she had always felt as if Lapis stuck around solely for Peridot, but now she knew that that wasn't the case at all. 

Lapis had stopped by the financial aid office one day to find information about a state scholarship. Then she stopped by again, and again, and nowadays Lapis stopped by whether it was for scholarships or not. Pearl didn't mind.

"You have to have heard something decent working in a place like this." Lapis nodded to the inner offices of the higher up staff. "Don't the old ladies have anything good?"

Pearl leaned back in her chair to glimpse the offices, sighing in relief when she saw the doors were closed. "First of all--" She held up a finger, both a number marker and a warning. "--one of them is a man and he's not even old, and second, don't talk so loud," she whispered. "You'll have me fired yet, Lapis."

"It's my life's ambition," Lapis said, smirk still hidden in her arms.

"I can get myself fired just fine, thank you."

Lapis rolled her eyes. "You'll only get fired because you put in too many hours or worked too hard or something bullshit like that."

"Actually, I would rather spend my time studying or with Garnet and Amethyst, not this infernal phone. I hear it ring in my dreams." Pearl pushed her chair away from the desk and stood to stretch her legs. She grumbled about sitting-related injuries, noting the stiffness in her body.

"Your hours that bad?"

"No," Pearl admitted, rolling a tense shoulder, "I'm just adjusting to less free time I suppose." She missed her free time dearly (and she had had so little of it already), but she especially missed the time to hang out with Garnet and Amethyst between classes instead of... this. But Pearl still had them at night and mornings and during her days off-- it was all a matter of adjusting.

"Oh hey." Lapis straightened up, pressing her palms flat on the counter to lean over it slightly. "I remember why I came here."

"To get me fired?" 

Lapis ignored the comment. "You were looking for apartments right?"

"...Yes." Pearl paused her stretches, an eyebrow raised. "You know of a good one?"

"I know of someone who's looking for a paying roommate," Lapis hedged.

Pearl narrowed her eyes. "It sounds like there's a catch coming up."

"Ah well--" Lapis laughed, bubbly. "It's someone I'm not on very good terms with, and you didn't exactly have a great experience with them either."

Pearl furrowed her brows. "...Who?"

\-----

Pearl watched Jasper enter from across the student center, gait stern and purposeful like she were readying for a boxing match instead of working out housing details.

Yellow followed Pearl's gaze. "Is that... her?" 

"Yes," Pearl said out of the corner of her mouth.

Jasper glanced around the room, caught sight of Pearl and Yellow and nodded to them before coming over to their table. "So." Jasper pulled out a chair, metal shrieking against the tile floor, and sat down. "Apartments."

Pearl nodded. "Lapis mentioned you had one in mind?"

"Yeah. It's not bad, not too expensive, but I can't pay for it all myself. That's were you two come in." Jasper pointed to them.

"Where is it exactly?" Pearl asked. She rephrased it. "...Is it within walking distance of the college?"

Jasper frowned, incredulous. "Uhm probably not. That's why it's not expensive." She chuckled, crossing her arms and leaning back in the chair. "What, you guys don't have a car?"

"Not anymore," Yellow said, mouth set in a sour scowl.

"Hah. Man, that sucks." Jasper tilted her chair back to balance on two legs. "But I can't be your chauffeur."

Pearl cringed at the safety hazard but refrained from mentioning it. "We were thinking about finding an apartment closer to the school. I had some in mind earlier." She unlocked her phone to pull up some bookmarked pages on the apartments.

"It would cost more."

"Yes, but--"

Jasper interrupted, still dangerously tilting forward and back on the two chair legs. "Do you guys even have jobs?"

Pearl looked up from her phone, beginning to bristle at Jasper's tone. "Yes. I do," she said tightly.

"What about the blondie?" 

"I have a name," Yellow said indignantly.

Jasper deviously grinned, staring at Yellow from behind a lock of bleached hair. "Yeah and your name's not any better, Miss Canary Yellow."

"Canary? You--!" Yellow jumped up from her chair.

"Yellow!" Pearl cried, dismayed, "Sit down." She knew her sister had a temper, but this was a little much. And if Yellow ended up doing something reckless like punching Jasper in the teeth, they were shot out of luck.

"Wow, touchy subject, huh? What, are you gonna fight me?" Jasper asked, voice cool despite the excitement in her eyes. She tilted back on her chair a bit more.

Yellow grit her teeth and drummed her fingers vigorously on the table.

"...Yellow," Pearl said warily. She tugged on the edge of Yellow's shirt to pull her back, but Yellow squirmed away, not breaking her glaring eye contact with Jasper.

"I'll push you off your stupid chair," Yellow threatened.

Pearl groaned and put her face in her hands. It was already over. She could practically hear their chances of getting an apartment storm out the door and slam it closed. 

The harsh sound of Jasper's chair returning to all four legs made Pearl raise her head. She was secretly proud to see Yellow didn't flinch even when the sudden movement brought Jasper's bared teeth a few inches from her pointy nose. 

Pearl supposed Jasper was impressed too, because she smirked and then shoved Yellow out of her face. "Alright," Jasper said.

Yellow stumbled and caught herself on the table. She sat down semi-gracefully, brushing imaginary dust from her shirt-- an effort to save her dignity. "Alright, what?"

"Alright, give me a minute to think," Jasper said dryly. 

Pearl let out a deep breath. There was still a chance. She caught Yellow's eyes and gave an unamused frown to express her disapproval over Yellow's actions. 

Yellow rolled her eyes and looked away, still fuming.

Sighing, Jasper ran her hands through her long hair, and Pearl heard Yellow make a quiet noise beside her. "Okay," Jasper finally said, "I might give you two a chance /only/ because I still feel bad about breaking into your dorm. But it's still a maybe."

"Right." What Pearl really wanted to say was a fervent thank you, but she supposed being too desperate wouldn't help their case much. "Now, uh, we should figure out how close the apartment should be because Yellow and I need a way to get on campus."

Jasper waved the suggestion away and stood up. "I just remembered I have somewhere to be right now," she said, "We can talk about this later."

"We've been here five minutes!" Yellow exclaimed. "What important place do you have to be right now? In your dorm chugging a dozen energy drinks?"

"I have to work," Jasper said, smugly implying the 'unlike you' part of the statement. 

"And where is it you work?" Yellow huffed.

"The gym." Jasper used her thumb to point over her shoulder.

Yellow tipped her nose up and crossed her arms. "Of course you do."

"What is that suppos--"

"AHAha! Well!" Pearl quickly stood up, trying to block Yellow and Jasper from looking at each other. "I guess we'll be seeing you later then!" 

Jasper raised her eyebrows and stared tauntingly over Pearl's head. "You gonna answer my question?"

Pearl rose to her tiptoes and, at the same time, blindly reached behind her and capsized Yellow's purse before her younger sister could take Jasper's bait. 

"Gah! Pearl! My purse!"

While Yellow squawked and scrambled to collect its contents, Pearl played diplomat. "Jasper, you and I can talk this over sometime later, okay?" She wanted to apologize for how terribly the meeting went, but part of her agreed with Yellow.

Jasper rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Yeah, whatever. Sounds good." She turned to walk away, throwing a cheeky farewell over a muscular shoulder. "It was nice meeting you, /blondie/."

Yellow very audibly growled in frustration from where she was kneeling to gather up the last of her things. She stuttered angrily, and Pearl looked down at her with her hands on her hips. She glanced behind her to make sure Jasper was out of earshot before beginning the scolding.

"What the heck,Yellow?!" Pearl whispered (they were in the student center after all). "We're trying to find a paying roommate! Not make new enemies!"

"You said she was nice!" Yellow stood and brushed the dust from her purse before looping it safely over her arm. "She was not nice!"

"I mean, aside from breaking into my dorm and practically assaulting me, she was nice. She was very sorry about everything," Pearl said, "Just. Don't antagonize her and she won't antagonize you back."

"Oh come on," Yellow said, "Don't pretend like she wasn't irritating you too. She thinks she's better than us! Her and her big, dumb muscles." She shook her fist in the direction Jasper had walked away.

"Oh ho..." Pearl raised an eyebrow, chuckling. How interesting. "But you liked her hair," she teased.

Yellow gave a scandalized gasp. "I don't like her hair. Or her muscles. Or anything about her."

"And you certainly don't like how tall she is," Pearl added slyly.

"Shut up, Pearl." Yellow waved her hands in frustration. "And quit giving me that look!"

\-----

"Maybe it would be better to just find somewhere that'll let us rent for two months and then we'll go back to the dorms when school starts... but I don't think we could even afford two months because Yellow hasn't found a job yet, so it's just me paying for rent and food and utilities and-- That's why we need Jasper, but Jasper is looking for someone long term and if we did that, oh, I don't know how we would get to school--"

"Pearl! Pearl, hey," Amethyst interrupted, "Breathe. And come sit down; you'll wear a hole in the carpet if you pace any more."

Pearl let Amethyst lead her over to the couch and laid down. "Sorry," she said, using her forearm to drape over her eyes. She tried to focus on something else.

"It's alright," Amethyst said, "I'd be worried too." 

Pearl felt the couch dip a bit-- Amethyst sitting on the edge of the cushions.

"You can always stay with Garnet," Amethyst suggested after a moment.

Pearl groaned. "And Yellow too? Garnet's parents are too nice to tell us no; we would end up bankrupting them." Ruby and Sapphire were probably the last people on earth she wanted to be a hindrance to; she already owed them so much.

"Buuuuut if you're still working, maybe you could pay them?"

"...It's a thought," Pearl admitted, uncovering her eyes. She hadn't considered that before. Unfortunately, another part of the issue was her pride, but maybe there was no room for pride in a situation like this. 

Amethyst beamed, happy to help. "We'll figure something out," she promised, "But don't worry about that right now." She nudged the battered board game box on the floor with her foot and flashed Pearl a grin. "Worry about me kicking your ass in world domination."

Caught off guard, Pearl chuckled at that. "You know Garnet's going to beat both of us." She reached up to idly run her fingers through Amethyst's hair, grateful for making her laugh at a time like this. 

Amethyst's hair was still warm with the sun from their walk to the dorms-- tangled from the wind, too. Pearl tried to carefully undo the snags her fingers caught on.

Amethyst blushed at the attention and coughed. "Not this time! I'm teaming up with Peridot, and if I can get Lapis to ally with me we can gang up on Garnet." She knelt down and dumped the board game pieces on the floor. "What color do you want?"

Smirking at Amethyst's blush, Pearl withdrew her hand from her hair and stretched out on the couch. "Surprise me." Her eyes circled the movement of the lazy fan blades on the ceiling, still trying to calm lingering anxieties.

"You're blue," Amethyst decided, gathering the blue pieces into one corner of the board.

"Lapis is going to fight you on that."

Amethyst paused and then shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to fight to the death."

"Yo." Lapis shouldered the door opened and kicked it shut behind her. "What's this I hear about fighting to the death?" She sat down in the floor across Amethyst.

"Me and you, Lapis. We gotta go duel," Amethyst said eagerly.

Lapis grinned. "Awesome. Let's go."

Deciding she felt well enough, Pearl joined the other two in the floor and began to organize her pile of plastic soldiers by type. Amethyst was right-- she would figure everything out later. No use fretting over it now while their friends were over and trying to forget a week's worth of assignments. Relax. She pulled a blue cannon out from her pile of infantry.

"Wait," Lapis said, "Why do you get to be blue?"

Pearl shot Amethyst an 'I-told-you-so' look, and Amethyst guffawed. 

The door creaked as Peridot and Garnet slipped into the dorm. Peridot shoved her hands into the pockets of her unusually large and lumpy hoodie and waddled importantly to the center of the room. "I brought... the goods," she whispered. 

Peridot lifted the edge of her hoodie and unleashed a torrent of candy bags and an entire box of microwavable popcorn, which unfortunately destroyed most of Pearl's carefully organized army.

Unfazed, Garnet brushed the carnage of candy and plastic soldiers aside to make a space by Pearl. She nudged Pearl playfully with her shoulder. "Hello."

"Hello..." Pearl moved in to kiss her in greeting, but they were mindful of their guests and parted quickly, lest Peridot start gagging. 

Lapis snatched up a bag of gummy worms. "I'm not complaining, but where'd you guys get the money for this?"

"Me," Garnet said, "I thought we deserved a little splurging." 

"Aw, you're the best G." Amethyst lunged over the board for her own 'Hello' kiss. (Pearl flushed worse at this than at her and Garnet's previous kiss.)

Garnet winked at Amethyst when they separated. "You know it."

"I also knoooooow," Amethyst said, sitting back on her side of the board, "that I'm finally gonna beat you at this game."

"What makes you think that?" 

"Peridot is gonna help me," Amethyst said cockily, arms crossed. "Right Peri?"

Busy examining the game rules, Peridot shook her head and gave a curt, "No."

"See?-- Wait." Amethyst faltered, bravado failing. "What do you mean no?"

"I've decided the strongest alliance partner is Garnet," Peridot said, slipping into her wordier speech patterns to defend her choice, "In the past she has shown to be superior in strategy games. Easy decision." She shrugged and flipped a page of the rule manual.

"Easy-- easy dec..." Amethyst trailed off in her shock. "Peri... Peridactyl... P-dot, let's talk about this."

"My mind has been made. It's nothing personal, Amethyst," Peridot said, "Besides, I'm sure Lapis would be happy to join you."

"Nope," Lapis said, shuffling the cards, "I'm a strong, independent dictator and I don't want any backstabbing allies."

"But, but..." Amethyst made a wheezing sound and sunk down onto her side. 

Pearl restrained a laugh as she reached out to pat Amethyst's back. "There, there. Have a gummy worm." She placed her thoughtful gift on Amethyst's head and sat back.

"Garnet, how could you?" Amethyst whispered. "I thought we were friends."

Garnet followed Pearl's lead and placed another gummy worm offering on Amethyst's head. "I'm sorry, love. I'm sure you'll make it."

"We've already defeated her," Peridot noted sagely.

Lapis nodded in equal solemnity. "Board games break apart families." 

\-----

"Just let it end," Pearl mumbled, "Please Amethyst."

"I'll give up once Peri does," Amethyst declared, eyes red with exhaustion. She rolled her dice and laughed triumphantly. "Hah, got you that time, Peri! Hand it over."

"Fine." Peridot pushed a card into Amethyst's pile and escorted her own soldiers from the said piece of land. "I'm going to get it back when it's my turn, you know."

"We'll see about that."

Pearl sighed heavily into Amethyst's hair. She could easily fall asleep where she was, her front draped over Amethyst's back, chin resting over Amethyst's shoulder, but it would be so much nicer to have an actual bed. 

She could leave to go find a bed, but she couldn't abandon Garnet, who, now that Pearl studied her, might have already fallen asleep, sitting upright against the couch with her arms crossed and yet her eyes hidden beneath her shades.

"I've been thinking," Lapis said, voice slightly slurred with sleep, or rather, lack of it, "And like, this game is just... imperialistic propaganda... so ummmmm fuck this and let's go to bed."

Peridot and Amethyst gave no sign that they had heard, too preoccupied with another dice battle. Pearl laughed tiredly and cast Lapis a sympathetic look. "You tried," she said.

Lapis groaned and shoved her hand into the half empty bow of popcorn. Pearl watched in mild horror as Lapis managed to stuff the entire handful of popcorn into her mouth and bite down with an alarming cracking sound. Lapis spit something out in her hand.

Pearl winced and squeezed her eyes shut. "Please tell me that's not your tooth."

"It's not. Just an unpopped kernel," Lapis said, rolling it between her fingers thoughtfully, "Though I did have a dream like that once." Without any warning, she flung the kernel at a cluster of Peridot and Amethyst's plastic armies, scattering a few of them.

"Hey!" Peridot cried. 

"Dude!"

"This is God's punishment!" Lapis dug around in the popcorn bowl for more kernels and then threw those at the board as well. "And I am God!"

Pearl buried her face into Amethyst's neck to shield herself from the flying debris and Lapis's wild cackling. Amethyst sighed and leaned back into her spindly girlfriend.

"Getting tired yet?" Pearl asked. She kissed the back of Amethyst's neck.

"Maybe... We've reached that point in the night where people start, like, becoming God, so..."

Pearl laughed. "Ah yes, I hate when that happens."

"But I think we could work this into the game," Amethyst murmured, "A little popcorn asteroid attack to really spice up our battles. Besides, Peridot's defenses are about to crack."

"Meteorite," Peridot corrected. "And I disagree! My defenses will not be cracking any time soon!"

"I've already messed up your board-- What more do I need to do? Completely flip it over?" Lapis interrupted herself with a smattering of unstable giggles. "'Cause I will. If that's what it takes. I'll do it, Peridot." She wiggled her fingers over the edge of the board game.

"Lapis! Don't!" Peridot threw herself over the board to protect it, a poor decision because she displaced the few remaining pieces and essentially cleared the board. "Agh! A bayonet stabbed me!" Peridot pulled the offending plastic soldier out from under her and scowled at it. "A treason charge for you," she muttered to it.

Lapis clapped her hands together loudly. "Good! Treason! Now let's go to bed." She stood up and collapsed face first on the couch, which, wasn't exactly a bed but never mind.

Garnet finally startled awake at the chaos, her glasses crooked and her expression disorientated. "Whaa?" 

Amethyst chortled. "Go back to sleep, babe."

Garnet rubbed her eyes and chuckled, one corner of her mouth quirking up in a smile, and through her own sleep-hazy eyes Pearl's brain decided that it was one of the cutest things she had ever seen. 

"Tell her she's adorable," Pearl mumbled. She couldn't keep her eyes open much longer and she certainly couldn't raise her voice enough to tell Garnet herself. 

"Garnet! Pearl says you're adorable," Amethyst relayed, much louder than what was necessary.

Pearl heard Garnet laugh, and a moment later both Pearl and Amethyst were tilting to the ground with Garnet's added weight on top of them. "Garnet," Pearl laughed, more awake now that she was buried in a cuddle pile.

Garnet went limp over them, feigning sleep. "Good night," she teased.

"Nah man," Amethyst said, "You gotta do the really loud snore to be convincing."

"...Mmhmmm."

\-----

"Ugh." Pearl raised her head, the back of which was aching like she had-- "Slept on the floor! We slept on the floor and there were... beds... in the next room." She groaned. 

Amethyst and Garnet-- mostly Garnet-- rested over her the same way they had fallen asleep last night, ensuring that Pearl couldn't squirm out of the cuddle pile without waking them. She couldn't move even if she tried, and well, maybe she didn't want to try anyway.

Pearl turned her head to a more comfortable position and fell back to sleep, the sun that seeped past the window shutters warming her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, fluff, fluff. I want to write a story entirely made of cuddles.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short, slice-of-life-ish chapter. Enjoy!

"It's nice to be home," read Blue's text, "But it's also weird because my friends have already moved on and now I'm back and they don't really know what to think?"

Pearl sighed. "I'm sorry," she typed, "I'm sure they'll adjust soon, don't worry." She wondered how Rose would treat her if she were to move back after so long. Would it be awkward? The thought made Pearl a little sad, but it also reminded her to text Rose later this week-- they were still friends after all, just with distance this time.

The three dots at the bottom of the conversation faded as Blue's reply came in. "Thanks. What about you? How is everything?"

Pearl glanced up from her phone to stare at the open laptop in front of her, a halfway finished essay staring accusingly back. She shut the laptop. 

From the other end of the couch, Garnet met Pearl's eyes over her own laptop. "Uh. I need to focus," she said in a mock affronted tone. Her mouth was hidden by her laptop, but Pearl knew she was smirking, amused with herself for parroting Pearl's earlier words back at her.

Pearl raised her eyebrows and put a hand to her chest. "Oh, well don't let me distract you."

"You won't," Garnet said simply. She very deliberately drew her gaze back down to her laptop screen. 

Pearl closed her parted mouth and then pressed her lips into a line in a attempt to keep a straight face. She glanced down at her phone, realizing that Blue was still waiting on a reply, and quickly typed out, "Fine. It's that busy time of the semester but I'm surviving." 

She sent that and paused, trying to think over what else had happened since she and Blue had last chatted. "Oh! And Jasper agreed to rent with us. We looked at apartments the other week and finally settled on one. I thought Yellow was going to bite her head off by the end of the trip though." 

"Haha that sounds like Yellow."

The dots reappeared, so Pearl held off on replying so Blue could finish typing. Pearl took her glass from the coffee table only to find it empty. She huffed and rose to her feet, glass in hand. "Do you need anything while I'm up?" 

She halfway expected Garnet to still be playing her teasing game, but she only shook her head, rubbing her eyes under her glasses. 

The drastic shift in mood made Pearl frown. "Are you alright?"

Garnet groaned and then, oddly enough, chuckled. "My dumb professor just sent an email..." She made another discontent, grumbly noise that Pearl almost laughed at. "Gh... Don' worry about it." She drew her hand away from her eyes and returned her focus to the laptop with a sigh.

Pearl nodded, a little confused, and walked to the tiny kitchenette across the room to fill up her glass. She leaned against the counter and sipped her water, phone in the other hand to read Blue's reply: "How's your therapy going? I'm starting to think I need some myself..."

Pearl set her glass down and typed out, "It's helping, I think. I can handle things a bit better now at least." She hesitated at how personal and vulnerable the topic seemed. "And you should, if you want. Get therapy, I mean."

"I'd have to move out first. They wouldn't let that happen you know."

"I know. How have they been?"

Blue responded quickly. "Horrible." Another text soon followed. "But in a different way than usual. Besides the yelling, Mom keeps crying and asking me when I'm going to leave too/making me promise not to leave and Dad's furious at you and Yellow for upsetting Mom so much." Another ding. "At this point I think they think you're a literal devil."

A loud laugh escaped from Pearl's lips before she could stifle it. "I'm not a devil but thanks for the laugh," she typed, "Though I am sorry to hear they've been a pain." And sorry for being the cause of it, she thought grimly.

"Don't worry about it. That's just how it is I guess," Blue replied.

Garnet sighed again. Pearl wasn't even sure whether Garnet was aware she was doing it. 

She decided to end her conversation with Blue with a brief and apologetic farewell and returned to the couch, this time to peer over Garnet's shoulder. "Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"I /need/ my professor to quit changing the directions right before the deadline," Garnet said, obviously exasperated. 

Pearl chuckled and circled her arms around Garnet's shoulders. "I'm sorry. When's it due?"

"Tomorrow." Garnet clutched Pearl's arms with one hand and discontentedly scrolled through her essay with the other. "Feel free to proofread while you're up there," she said.

Pearl squinted at the laptop and shifted to a more comfortable position-- on her knees instead over bending over at the waist-- but kept her arms wrapped around Garnet since she seemed to like it. She settled her chin over Garnet's shoulder and skimmed through the essay. "I'm afraid I don't know much about psychology, but your citations look fine."

Garnet nodded and examined her paper in silence for a minute. Pearl noted the tenseness in the woman's shoulders and it occurred to her that Garnet was genuinely stressed over this assignment. "Hey," Pearl whispered in her ear, "Let's go for a walk."

Garnet tilted her head just enough to expose the corner of her mouth, quirked up in a roguish smile. "I distinctly remember you telling me not to let you distract me..."

"I-- Well, yes. I did say that," Pearl admitted, caught by her own words yet again. She couldn't think up a decent argument-- and maybe she should just let Garnet work-- so she reluctantly pulled away, intending on finishing her own paper while Garnet worked on hers, but Garnet stood up and put on her hoodie.

Pearl beamed at her and then ran to put her shoes on, and soon they were out the door, down a flight of stairs, and properly outside, where the flowers were all in bloom and yet the dusk air nipped at Pearl's exposed arms. She paused, realizing her mistake and inwardly cursing her proneness to the cold, before Garnet swiftly placed her hoodie over her thin shoulders. 

Flustered, Pearl's mouth got tangled on a mix of "Thank you" and "Sorry," but Garnet only laughed and offered her elbow. Pearl quickly shoved her arms into the sleeves of the borrowed jacket and then looped her arm through Garnet's, pressing against her slightly. They walked in comfortable silence, watching the sunset fade. 

Reaching the darkened courtyard, Pearl was reminded of a different stroll through the campus. "Do you remember that time I gave blood?"

"How could I forget?" Garnet said, "You almost passed out while trying to impress us."

Pearl laughed. "Impress you? Who's to say I wasn't giving blood out of the kindness of my heart?" She watched Garnet's eyebrows raise above her glasses in playful disagreement. 

"Okay, okay." Pearl smirked and bumped Garnet with her shoulder. They fell quiet as they passed a group headed to the cafeteria, complaining about the repetitive menu options; Pearl secretly agreed.

"...My parents mentioned having you and Amethyst over for dinner this weekend," Garnet said once they were relatively alone again, "Can you make it?"

"I have the day off on Sunday. Will that work?"

"Perfect. Oh, careful." Garnet nodded to a particularly muddy patch in the sidewalk that they both leapt over. "I feel bad that I haven't seen them in a while," she continued, "Prepping for that internship and all."

"I thought that was a summer thing," Pearl said.

Garnet shrugged. "It'll be summer soon enough. Speaking of summer--" She turned her head to look at Pearl. "Are you and Yellow all set up? My parents want to help."

"Oh, they're too kind for their own good." Pearl shook her head fondly and squeezed Garnet's arm. "Tell them we'll be sure to go to them if we need anything, but we're fine for now. And thank them again for me-- I don't know what I would have done without their help."

"I'll tell 'em," Garnet said, "Or you can on Sunday."

Pearl nodded. "Actually, Yellow and I have been making our budget and we're sure we're forgetting something important. Remind me to have you and Amethyst look at it."

Garnet hummed in reply, distracted. She slowed her pace, warily looking out towards the end of the sidewalk. The last of the orange sunset had faded into darkness, shrouding all areas of the courtyard except for the strategic placement of streetlights along the pavement.

Pearl was about to ask what was wrong when she glimpsed someone walking in the darkness, which, that in itself wasn't strange, but the fact that they were slinking along like a cat between the reaches of the streetlights was a tad concerning.

At the same time Pearl tensed up, Garnet relaxed, a silent puff of laughter escaping her. She used her free hand to cup around her mouth and stage-whispered, "Amethyst!"

The figure's head jerked up. Amethyst dashed over to the two, paying no mind to the streetlights in her haste. "Guys! Look what I have!" She cast a look over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching and reached into her jacket.

"Amethyst!" Pearl exclaimed, "What-- Oh." She stared at the ziplock bag cradled in Amethyst's hands, the water sloshing dangerously from the motion and disorientating the tiny shrimp inside. 

Pearl leaned closer to examine it curiously, and Garnet stepped closer to complete the huddle, shielding the stolen shrimp from prying eyes.

"Sorry little guy," Amethyst whispered as the shrimp righted itself. They watched it scoot around in the bag, ten scuttling pairs of legs propelling it through its makeshift aquarium.

"You--" Pearl trailed off, dumbfounded as she stared at the creature.

Garnet glanced over the courtyard. "Did anyone see you?"

"Don't think so, but I was hiding just in case," Amethyst said.

Pearl tore her eyes away from the bag and grasped Amethyst's arm. "You're risking expulsion... over seafood?!"

"Not so loud," Garnet warned.

Pearl winced and checked the darkened area for eavesdroppers before turning back to Amethyst, who held the shrimp's ziplock bag to her chest as if she were covering its ears. 

Amethyst gave a dramatic gasp. "Pearl, that was very rude of you to say."

"What if they find out?" Pearl asked, more careful with her volume this time.

"I've done this before, remember? Onion and Sour Cream? The science dudes will just come back in the morning, see one is gone, and think 'Oh guess they ate each other again'." Amethyst shrugged. "No big deal."

"I- If you're sure..." Pearl released Amethyst's arm.

"Of course I am," Amethyst said, stowing the ziplock bag back under her jacket, "You just worry too much, P." She stuck her tongue out.

Pearl stepped away from the huddle, adjusting her borrowed hoodie and trying not to seem like she was pouting. "Well someone needs to do the worrying around here."

Amethyst and Garnet laughed.

They made an unspoken decision to turn around so they could sneak the newly liberated shrimp into their dorm. It was slower going back because Amethyst had to be careful with the bag, but they didn't really mind.

"Have you found a name yet?" Garnet asked.

"No." Amethyst grinned knowingly. "Why? You got one?"

"I was thinking Potato. It fits our theme."

"Aha! That's perfect!" Amethyst squirmed like she was restraining herself from hopping up and down, which, she probably was-- the shrimp wouldn't appreciate hopping very much-- and Pearl laughed, covering her face with the too long sleeves of Garnet's jacket.

It certainly wasn't ever boring with Garnet and Amethyst around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly meant to have a chapter out weeks ago. The brain would not cooperate though. Oh well. 
> 
> There's only a few more chapters left of this, so maybe it's good I'm being so slow. It'll be completed by the end of summer definitely. (Can you believe this story is a year old? Wow) 
> 
> Until next time!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Not so cool parenting, Mentions of incest (like, very brief), Anxiety.

Pearl untangled the cord for her laptop charger and plugged it in, anxiously watching her laptop's darkened screen for any signs of life. It had unexpectedly died sometime last night, and she had been too tired to make any attempts to fix it-- maybe waiting had made things worse. 

She hoped not. Paying for a new laptop was not something she could reasonably afford right now.

Pearl lightly tapped on the keyboard, like trying to wake someone by patting their cheek. "Come on, Laptop. You're not even that old yet," she pleaded. The screen was still despairingly dead with no blinking lights at all. Sighing, Pearl resigned herself to waiting and rested her head back against the couch. 

She stared at the blank ceiling of her apartment; there was a cobweb in the corner, she noted with a frown. The rest of the apartment was much of the same-- bland off-white walls and mismatched furniture-- but, unlike the ceiling corner, it at least was clean.

Pearl's gaze flickered to the front door. She missed having Garnet and Amethyst nearby, walking in and out without a care. She closed her eyes and consoled herself with the thought of seeing them later in the evening today. 

Ruby had excitedly made plans for a bonfire ("A /small/ campfire," Sapphire had corrected, "Or the neighbors will complain again.") and wanted Amethyst and Pearl to join them. They had been planning on meeting up with Garnet anyway, so Pearl and Amethyst graciously accepted the offer.

From behind her closed eyelids, Pearl registered a change in the lighting and opened her eyes to see her laptop booting up, fans whirring faintly. "Ha ha! Yes," she said triumphantly.

Just then, Jasper burst out of her bedroom, her door slamming against the wall with a dramatic bang. She leapt over a chair and skidded into the kitchen, tennis shoes squeaking against the linoleum as if it were a basketball court.

"Jasper," Pearl admonished, "Don't jump over our furniture."

Jasper closed the refrigerator door and chugged half of a dusty protein shake before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "You need a ride to work?"

Pearl shook her head. "Not today." 

"Good," Jasper said, now tying her thick hair up in a ponytail. "I won't be as late as I thought." She slung her backpack over her shoulders and went to the door. "Oh." She turned around. "Tell Yellow that if she goes through my shit again I'll kick her puny ass." She left before Pearl could reply, door slamming behind her.

Pearl chuckled and muttered, "Drama queen.” After a few weeks of living with Jasper, it became apparent that her temper boiled down to nothing but elaborate bluffs, something Pearl was relieved to find out as she had no doubt that Jasper could snap both herself and Yellow in half like cheap wooden toothpicks.

Yellow's head peered out from her and Pearl's shared bedroom. "Jasper go to work?"

Pearl nodded. "She jumped over a chair because she was late, but I question how late she was if she still had time to to put on her eyeliner," she said with a wry grin.

Yellow scoffed as if irritated. "It's never too late for her winged eyeliner." 

Pearl and Yellow stared at each other for a moment. Their plastic second-hand clock hanging on the wall ticked steadily in the silence. Yellow cracked first, smirking before breaking into laughter; Pearl followed immediately after. It was so nice to be on good terms with Yellow again; Pearl suddenly felt very fond of her in that moment.

Yellow brushed a tear from her eye and clapped her hands together. "Well, I'll be unscrewing every lightbulb in her room if you need me," she said, cheery with the thought of making more mischief with Jasper's belongings. She rubbed her hands together and tiptoed to their roommate's door like she was a cartoon villain.

"She said she'd kick your butt if you touch her stuff again," Pearl warned. 

Yellow waved her hand dismissively and made a disbelieving "Pshhh" noise as she entered Jasper's room. 

"Yeah, I don't believe her either," Pearl said under her breath. She turned her attention back to her revived laptop and idly pulled up her email. 

Another phishing scam courtesy of her university's buggy email system, and a chirpy newsletter email from a textbook rental company that she couldn't remember ever signing up for-- emails that were nothing new or unusual. The one that stuck out was an email from her father.

Pearl felt her pulse spike up. 

She debated just not reading it-- deleting it and walking away-- but she knew the worry would gnaw on her endlessly if she did that. Better to get it over with, she told herself. Pearl took a deep breath, finger hovering over the touchpad.

She clicked to open it.

"Pearl," it read.

"It is with a heavy heart that your mother and I make this decision, but after praying over it we have no doubt it's the right thing to do. We've decided that you must leave us alone."

Pearl scowled, now a strange combination of irritated and anxious. Leave them alone? Isn't that exactly what she had been doing? They were the ones refusing to leave her alone! "Infuriating," she grumbled.

"You WILL leave us alone, Pearl. Your reckless and wayward lifestyle has done nothing but hurt this family. I have to wake up every morning and remember that our daughter has turned against us after being seduced by promiscuous women. I am disgusted. Enraged. Not only at that, but at the fact that you had the gall to take Yellow with you. 

"What did you say to her? What did you do to her? Did you seduce your sister too?"

"Oh my god." Pearl covered her face with her hands, but her eyes still peered from between her fingers to stare at those words in horror. "Oh my goddd. What the..." 

She forced herself to quickly skim the rest of the email, her father's words getting less polite and more accusing and angry, blaming her for hurting her mother "when she did nothing but love and care for you since the day you were born" and adding the classic "We put a roof over your head and fed you," which had Pearl rolling her eyes.

She sped through the next couple rambling paragraphs, only getting a vague idea of what they contained because she really didn't want to think about this more than she already was, but she stopped at the closing paragraph, her father's "polite" wording and sentence structure having abruptly returned. He must have composed himself at the last minute, Pearl thought.

It read, "Now, we've given you more than enough chances to apologize, but you have blocked our numbers and refused to meet with us at your school. You have forced us to cut you off completely in the hopes it will bring you back to us in time."

"I thought I was supposed to leave you alone," Pearl mumbled sullenly.

"When you do come back, you'll be living with us until we can trust you again, and you'll be seeing a professional about these perversions of yours. Until then, we have disconnected your phone service and removed you from the health plan."

Pearl smacked her forehead, eyes wide. That was the "something important" she and Yellow had been forgetting from their budget. Both of those things, actually. She drew her hand away from her forehead and noticed the sweat on her palm-- and then noticed the nervous sweat over the rest of her body. She quickly wiped her hand on her sweatpants.

Maybe she could sort this out.

The phone service... Well, she could buy a cheap prepaid minute phone from the store until she figured out how to set up a phone plan. And the health insurance... Pearl didn't know how to do that either— didn't know if she could even pay for it, a thought that instantly made her stomach swirl with unease. She just hoped she didn't get sick. 

She forced herself to finish reading the last line:

"Sincerely, Dad." 

Something about the phrasing made her throat tighten with guilt, or maybe the other contents of the letter had finally overwhelmed her, and she found herself hastily closing her laptop and standing up. She blinked at the room around her and realized she didn't know what she had been planning on doing and promptly sat back down. 

Pearl swallowed thickly and smoothed her hair with clammy hands. Maybe she did feel bad for what she had done, even if it was the right thing to do-- perhaps not the wisest thing, now that she was thoroughly without any sort of financial safety net. Guilt had weighed in the back of her mind from time to time ever since she had left her parents, but it wasn't until now that it had gained such a presence.

She hated to admit it, but she missed them. She missed the smell of her father's favorite coffee brewing early in the morning before school. She missed the sound of her mother humming throughout the house when she was in a particularly good mood. She missed home and the way things used to be.

But now Pearl had disobeyed them. Left them.

The memory of her mother crying pathetically in the front yard the night she left now made her sick to her stomach with dread and guilt. She leaned forward over her knees to catch her breath.

Pearl hadn't wanted to hurt them. Not really. She just wanted to escape.

"Hey did you get an ema--" 

Through misty eyes, Pearl saw Yellow stagger back a few steps in surprise, momentarily hidden from view in Jasper's room before stiffly forcing herself to walk out again. "I take it they sent you one too then?" Yellow asked carefully, hands fidgeting with her phone.

Pearl nodded and wiped her eyes, trying to pull it together.

"What-- what did yours say?" Yellow asked, still hovering in the doorway of Jasper's room.

"Uh." Pearl sniffled. "Nothing good. Dad's pissed. They're cutting me off, which was--" She flushed as her voice broke, coughing to cover it. "--was to be expected."

"Oh," Yellow said. She gazed down at the carpet, clearly uncomfortable and unwilling to further embarrass Pearl by looking at her while she was in this state.

"What about yours?" 

Yellow tore her eyes away from the carpet, face pained, apologetic. "They... really want me back," she whispered. 

Pearl nodded and looked away. 

It scared her to think of Yellow going back to their parents and not solely because she feared for Yellow-- it was more selfish than that-- but because it would be one more person to miss. Because it had been so nice having someone who shared so many childhood memories with her. Because she and Yellow had gotten along better these last few weeks than they had in years.

The silence was suddenly unbearable. 

Just when Pearl couldn't stand it anymore, Yellow finally left the doorway and sat beside her on the couch, one hand nervously twirling her phone and the other making uncertain half gestures like she was about to speak. Instead, Yellow jerkily opened her arms, offering a hug.

Pearl was stunned at first but quick to accept the hug lest she push Yellow even further into discomfort over people's messy emotions. She wrapped her arms around Yellow and was once again surprised when Yellow stayed instead of pulling away a few seconds later. 

It was probably twice as awkward as Blue's hug, mostly because Yellow was rigid and gave mechanical pats to Pearl's shoulder half the time.

"Sorry, I'm bad at this, but..." Yellow's voice became very small. "I guess I needed a hug?" 

Pearl knew that that couldn't have been an easy thing for Yellow to admit and gave a faint smile despite the situation. "That's okay. So did I." 

"I thought so," Yellow said, her tone containing a shadow of her usual cockiness.

Pearl let out a little puff of laughter at that. "So." She closed her eyes, halfway unwilling to know the answer to what she was about to ask. "...Are you going back?"

Yellow paused but then shook her head. "I don't think they'll change. Do you?"

"No," Pearl said softly, "I wish they would though."

"Yeah..." Yellow gave a jittery chuckle. "They like me now, but they, uh, they won't if--" She seemed to be struggling with her words. "Well, it's just--" She groaned, frustrated with herself.

Pearl almost laughed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm gay!" 

Pearl's eyes opened wide, staring at the wall over Yellow's shoulder in surprise. She had always suspected, but she never thought Yellow would actually say it. Her sister was too private-- vulnerable emotions always hidden away. She thought Yellow would be the type to just introduce her girlfriend rather than definitively come out.

"I know," she said simply. She felt Yellow stiffen.

"....WHAT?" Yellow squawked, "How?!" Their moment was over. She wriggled out of their hug and leapt to her feet, face flaming. "How did you...?"

"Just a feeling." Pearl smirked. "Though your blatant flirting with Jasper didn't help...."

"Aghhhhhh." Yellow covered her red cheeks with her hands and turned away. "Don't tell her!"

Pearl laughed. Messing with Yellow was more fun than agonizing over the painful contents of that email, so she continued. "Let me be your wingman.”

Yellow groaned again, tugging her hoodie over her head and darting away to the kitchen, as if a couple meters would hide her embarrassment. "You'd make a horrible wingman!"

"Mean," Pearl huffed in mock annoyance.

\-----

Pearl watched the light from a firefly flicker through the bushes as Garnet and Amethyst processed the email she had just summarized for them. She wanted advice-- reassurance, she supposed. 

"You know, I think I've said this before," Amethyst said, "But damn your parents are a piece of work." She hopped down from her perch on the chain link fence and brushed herself off. Garnet pulled a leaf from Amethyst's hair and tossed it so that it twirled down to the damp grass.

Pearl laughed. "They are."

"We'll help in any way we can," Garnet promised.

Pearl offered the two a grateful smile. Something about talking to them had banished the last dregs of anxiety within her; things would be okay. “Thanks. I'm not sure what I'd do without you two.”

“Be a nerd,” Amethyst teased, poking her tongue out. 

“Well, probably,” Pearl admitted. She leaned back against the fence and tried to find that firefly she was watching earlier. She found it closer than before, amongst the grass.

Garnet leaned against the fence as well, hands in her pockets. “You're practically free now,” she said, uncovered eyes twinkling in the dim light.

Pearl raised an eyebrow in question.

“Yeah! They're gonna leave you alone, right?” Amethyst said, “At least for now anyway?” 

“Oh.” Pearl blinked as the realization dawned on her. “You're right. They're actually leaving me alone. I don't have to worry about them showing up on my doorstep,” she said with increasing excitement. She was actually free of them. Finally. 

Without all that looming in her future, it felt ten times easier to breathe.

Garnet clapped her on the shoulder. “Congratulations.”

A series of loudly muttered curses drew their attention across the yard to Ruby, who was kicking up dirt and waving her arms in frustration, her fire having gone out yet again.

"We might be microwaving marshmallows inside tonight," Garnet noted. 

Pearl stifled a laugh with her hand. 

They watched Ruby cross her arms and glare at the fire pit while Sapphire giggled from the swing set, the chains’ squeaking echoing off the trees.

“So hey, I— About parents—” Amethyst began. 

Garnet and Pearl returned their focus to Amethyst, who was staring intently at Pearl's firefly, watching its glow disappear and then reappear again; they knew it was important if Amethyst wouldn't meet their eyes.

“I had a talk with my parents the other day.”

“Oh?” Garnet said. 

“Yeah. And I'm still ticked off at ‘em for leaving me alone so much, but they— they listened to me and kinda owned up to it,” Amethyst said, “So that was really nice of them.” 

“Oh that's wonderful, Amethyst!” Pearl engulfed her in an impromptu hug and the shorter woman staggered to the side.

Garnet joined in, wrapping her arms around both of them and squeezing so that Amethyst wouldn't fall down. “I agree.”

Amethyst tilted her head up so that she wasn't buried in Pearl's hair and Garnet's shoulder, gasping like she was just underwater. “Thanks, I didn't expect this to earn me a hug attack.”

“Hey! You three!” Ruby hollered.

They stumbled apart to look over at Ruby.

“Look!” Ruby jumped up and down and pointed to the campfire. “I finally got it!”

Garnet chuckled at her mother's antics and nodded her head towards the fire. “We should go sit before she gets too impatient,” she said to the other two, “I have to warn you though, they tell the worst ghost stories.”

Amethyst skipped after Garnet and then twisted around to walk backwards, facing Pearl. “Ask them about the haunted clock and the chicken nuggets,” she whispered with a grin.

“The what?” Pearl asked, amused. 

Garnet looked back over her shoulder. “Please don't.”

Unfortunately, Sapphire was within earshot by then and, as Pearl soon learned, also had a bit of a mischievous streak. “That's a great idea, Amethyst.”

“Mum…” Garnet was smiling despite her protests. 

Pearl sat down on one of the short outdoor chairs placed around the fire and watched Ruby and Sapphire try to tell the story; Ruby would get too excited about what she was saying and Sapphire would interject with a scene too early, causing them to have to backtrack. It ended up being more hilarious than scary, and Pearl’s ribs were aching from laughter before the tale was even finished. 

From the corner of her eye, Pearl watched Amethyst accidentally set another marshmallow aflame. She quickly blew it out and then jutted her bottom lip out in a pout. Pearl laughed, drawing Amethyst’s attention.

“It's harder than it looks,” Amethyst insisted, scooting her chair closer so that she could ruffle Pearl’s hair with sticky fingers.

Pearl stifled a squeal and leaned away, giggling. “Amethyst!” She would definitely have to wash her hair, but she wasn't as upset as she usually would have been; something about this day had been thought-provoking. Memory-provoking? 

Whatever it was, it made her think. This time a year ago she had to move to a different state with her parents. At the time, leaving Rose had felt like the hardest thing she had ever had to do, but now it was even stranger to think of a time when she hadn't known Amethyst and Garnet at all. 

Pearl tilted her head away from Amethyst to gaze at Garnet on her other side. Garnet must have sensed Pearl’s stare because she subtly offered her hand. Pearl took it, squeezed slightly, and they let their clasped hands hang between their chairs, knuckles brushing the grass.

Pearl let herself sink down into her chair and leaned her head back to look at the stars.

A year ago, if someone had told her what her life would be like— that she had finally stood up to her parents and was living in an apartment with her youngest sister, that she was going to counseling to undo the damage her parents had done, that she had met two amazing people and was very happily dating them both— she wouldn't have believed them.

Pearl watched Garnet and Amethyst, both glowing from the light of the campfire and laughter as Ruby and Sapphire jumbled up their story once again.

But she was very happy things turned out the way they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! It's not over quite yet; there's an epilogue next (and by "next" I mean probably in a month because I'm terribly slow at writing lately).
> 
> And god! I love writing Yellow Pearl. She's so smug, it's hilarious.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter is 7.5k of pure fluff.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Do you ever think about getting married?” Garnet asked.

Pearl stiffened, startled. “What?” Her eyes darted from Garnet and back to the picture she had been examining— one from Peridot and Lapis’s wedding last summer. Peridot’s green bow tie was crooked by the time the photo was taken, but Lapis still looked elegant in her blue dress, contrasting with how inelegantly she was flicking off the camera.

“Are you proposing?” Amethyst asked with a crooked Cheshire cat grin.

Garnet carefully placed the photo she had been holding back onto the pile. “I'm not joking,” she said, her lips twitching downward slightly.

“Oh,” Pearl breathed. She dropped Peridot and Lapis’s photo on the coffee table and scooted closer to Garnet on the couch, hoping to soothe the somewhat dejected tone Garnet had taken on.

“Sorry, G,” Amethyst said, hopping up onto the couch on Garnet's other side. “Didn't mean to make you sad.”

Garnet patted Amethyst on the knee. “Not your fault,” she said, “I'm just… frustrated with the way things are.” She looked like she was going to say something else, but she only gave a disgruntled sigh.

“…I do think about it. At times,” Pearl admitted, trying to reassure, “You're not the only one.”

She thought about it in the same way she dreamed about not having to hide Amethyst and Garnet from anyone, in the same way she wished people wouldn't side-eye them in the rare times they were affectionate in public.

At her work, it was bad enough the air always grew dreadfully awkward whenever she mentioned her “partner,” who was, at this point, a made up version of both Garnet and Amethyst combined; she didn't want to imagine how her coworkers would act if they knew the truth— they would update their scissoring jokes, her rather conservative boss would be “concerned,” and oh how the busybodies would talk.

(One of these days she was going to quit that engineering firm and do something crazy like teach fencing, or maybe ballet, or ballet with fencing instead of feeling like an ignored, overeducated paperweight.)

And there were times when all the gossip and jokes seemed pale in comparison— times when Pearl feared for Garnet and Amethyst’s lives— but she didn't like to think about that.

“It would be nice to be seen as… a little bit more normal,” Pearl said, forcing herself out of her thoughts before she could spiral.

“But like, we can't,” Amethyst said, “Well, we could, but I'm not marrying one of you without the other.” She crossed her arms stubbornly as if to show how firm she was in that decision.

“I know that,” Garnet said, revealing a small smile. She wrapped an arm around Amethyst and kissed her on the head. “I wouldn't want that either.”

With how close they were sitting together, Pearl could feel Garnet take a deep breath and release it. She copied her sigh.

“…Besides,” Garnet said thoughtfully, “My parents didn't think they were ever going to be able to get married and now they are. So, maybe one day.”

“One day,” Pearl echoed.

Amethyst laughed. “We might be wrinkly old ladies by then.”

“That's okay,” Garnet said, “I’d still love you two.”

Pearl winced at her suddenly stinging eyes, and Amethyst mumbled something to herself, no doubt just as swept away as Pearl was.

“Whoops.” Garnet chuckled, realizing what she had done. “Too much?”

Pearl shook her head, blinking away the excess moisture from her eyes. “No, not at all,” she murmured, tilting her chin up to kiss Garnet on the cheek before rising from the couch. She strolled over to a wall with a smattering of framed pictures hung up and pretended to contemplate where they would hang the newer photos.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Amethyst still lying limply at Garnet’s side, while Garnet silently resumed looking through the envelope of freshly developed pictures. Pearl repressed a concerned frown and looked back to the wall, a bland pale color (ever a reminder that they were renters), but the pictures always helped make it brighter.

The photo of the three of them in graduation gowns, tassels swinging into their faces always caught her attention. Their tired grins showed their relief over finishing school, but something in their eyes spoke of apprehension. What would the future bring?

Pearl remembered their many nights before graduation spent wondering and hesitantly outlining their futures. Nothing had gone exactly according to plan, but that was more than alright.

Garnet went back to school for her Master’s degree, as shown by a different graduation photo.

Garnet grinned proudly at the camera, one arm around Sapphire and the other around Ruby, who was somehow both crying and vibrating with pride. With her Master’s, Garnet was able to become a licensed therapist— something she had a passion for and was very skilled at.

And Amethyst—

Pearl’s gaze flickered to another photo and smiled at Amethyst’s exuberant pose, kneeling on the ground with her arms spread to show off the neatly labeled “old junk” her and her team had uncovered. A smudge of dirt across her nose.

Amethyst appeared content with how things worked out as well.

Pearl’s focus wandered to the next picture, one of herself this time, wearing a nervous but excited smile, geared up for her first fencing bout. She had won that time, Pearl recalled fondly, and had been hooked ever since. A week ago, her aging instructor had offered her a position at the fencing school, and Pearl was sorely tempted to take it.

It was something to think about. Later.

Sighing, she took a half step back to get a better look at the wall, pinpointing a decent spot for a few more pictures (including that amusing one of Peridot and Lapis’s wedding). And beside that spot—

Pearl grazed her fingertips over the blank space, a frown returning to her lips. She briefly imagined their own wedding photos hanging there— Was that vain of her? (She was lucky enough to be able to marry a woman at all, but wanting to marry two...)

Why waste time thinking about it if it can't happen?

She wilted for a moment, shoulders slumping, but then grit her teeth, drawing her hand into a fist to press against the blank wall.

But why /shouldn't/ it happen?

“We’re consenting adults, aren't we?” Pearl said, whirling around to face her partners.

Garnet and Amethyst only looked up, surprised at her tone and the sudden end to the quiet.

“It's so stupid,” Pearl continued, beginning to pace. “Stupid rules made by other people and! And!” She quickly became tangled up her words and flung her arms up, making a noise that was incomprehensible and irate.

Amethyst came out of her shock to cheer, raising a fist. “Yeah! Get angry!” She leapt up and took Pearl’s hands in hers, propelling them around the room in hyper circles. “We should protest! Storm the White House!” Her beaming smile was the only thing Pearl could see that wasn't blurring and melting together.

“Amethyst!” Pearl giggled. “I don't know about that…!” The moment the words left her mouth she tripped over Amethyst’s feet and stumbled to her knees, already dizzy.

“Sorry!” Amethyst cackled and gracefully led them both down to the ground instead of staggering around the room and breaking a table (like last time). “Too fast too soon, huh?”

Pearl let herself rest on Amethyst’s chest, fingers toying with the dark hair splayed around her in a halo. “Maybe a little.” She chuckled breezily as the furniture danced around her vision.

“I'm dizzy and I didn't even get up,” Garnet said, mouth curling in amusement as she peered at them from over the back of the couch.

Amethyst snorted.

“Mm.” Pearl closed her eyes. “…You know, we could always pretend we're married.”

“Pretend?” Amethyst paused before adding through a smirk, “Okay, /wife/.” She threaded her hand through Pearl’s hair, messing it up even further.

“Wife,” Pearl mumbled, testing the shape of the word and finding it pleasant. She opened her eyes, staring unfocused at the carpet. “It's a nice word,” she decided.

“We could do it,” Garnet said, “I feel like we're practically married already.” She draped an arm over the couch and poked the back of Pearl's leg, making her squeak.

Pearl huffed and gave her a scandalized look; Garnet tilted her head back to laugh.

“We could throw a party,” Amethyst suggested, “Have a fake ceremony and be like, ‘Hey! We're married now!’”

“Sure,” Garnet said through lingering chuckles, “Peridot can be the fake minister.”

Pearl pushed herself onto her elbows and sat up. “We would only invite people who’d take us seriously.” She faltered. “As seriously as one can take a make-believe wedding….”

“I wouldn't call it ‘make-believe,’ just…” Garnet cocked her head, choosing her words. “…Not supported by the law, I suppose.”

Amethyst waved a hand dismissively. “Who needs ‘em anyway? Anarchy’s the way to go.”

Pearl laughed and rose to her feet, helping Amethyst up soon after. “Don't say that too loud; the neighbors already think we're insane from all our singing,” she said.

Amethyst playfully stuck her tongue out.

Garnet snapped her fingers. “Rings,” she remembered, “We’ll need rings.”

“Wait,” Pearl said, trying to contain a smile, “We’re serious about this?”

“I am if you are,” Garnet said.

Amethyst grinned. “Uh, heck yeah.”

“Yes.”

——-

“Okay so, I guess rings are super expensive everywhere,” Amethyst said, falling tiredly into one of the food court chairs. Garnet slipped into a chair beside her.

Pearl set her messenger bag down on the table. “I'm glad we finally found a place that doesn't only sell diamonds. Darn diamonds.” She shook her fist dramatically. “We just want our namesake gems.”

“Hey about that,” Amethyst said, leaning in, “Do you guys ever think about how weird that is?”

Pearl and Garnet exchanged puzzled glances.

“What?”

“You know like, we all have gem names. Even your parents,” Amethyst said, gesturing to Garnet. “It's weird.”

“Coincidence?” Pearl suggested.

They sat quietly for a moment, in contrast to the not so quiet mall around them. Music from half a dozen nearby stores melded into a cacophonous tune, and the chatter of shoppers milling around the food court (drawn by the enticing smells wafting out) buzzed in their ears.

“Hmm… Best not to think about it,” Garnet finally decided.

“You're probably right,” Amethyst admitted.

Pearl leaned back in her chair, glad to be off her feet for a while. “So back to the rings…”

“Mmhm.” Garnet tugged Pearl’s messenger bag towards herself so that she could rest her head on the bag instead of trusting the questionable cleanliness of the table.

“I think we could pay for those relatively painlessly if we budget it right,” Pearl said. She rechecked a rough estimate in her head and nodded to herself.

“Yeah,” Amethyst said, squinting to read a menu on a food stand across the room. “Three paychecks. We’ll be fine.”

Pearl stared at her own intertwined fingers atop the table. “That's… actually something I'm worrying about,” she confessed, “If I quit and get a job helping my fencing instructor, it would be such a dock in pay.”

“It would, but we could adjust,” Garnet said, a little muffled from one of her cheeks being squished against Pearl’s bag.

“Maybe I— Well, what I really should do is find another job in engineering, a different place. And I like engineering— I'm /good/ at it— but I'm… tired of it, almost,” Pearl said. She drummed her fingers nervously on the edge of the table. “Is that bad?”

Amethyst shrugged. “I think you'd be better off quitting than letting yourself burn out. One of the guys at my work did that and I don't think he has any emotions anymore.”

Pearl grimaced. “I’m not /that/ bad.”

“Don't let yourself get that bad,” Amethyst replied.

Garnet sat up a little and reached across the table to take one of Pearl's fidgety hands in her own. “Do whatever makes you feel better; losing your mind isn't worth the money, Pearl.”

Pearl nodded, frowning.

“Now. I saw Amethyst eyeing the soft pretzels and I'm starving, so I'm gonna go buy us a couple.” Garnet patted Pearl’s hand and released it so that she could check the cash in her wallet.

“Aw thanks, you read my mind,” Amethyst said, leaning over to nudge Garnet with her shoulder. “Don't worry, P. Pretzels fix everything.” She offered Pearl a tentative smile.

Pearl tried to return the smile, but her tensed facial muscles warped it. She wished she could decide this dilemma without having any regrets over the choice, but there were pros and cons to each option. And the What If’s. What If’s that she really shouldn't dwell on because they would only send her into an anxious tizzy.

“It’ll all work out,” Garnet said, rising from her chair. She set her hand down warmly on Pearl’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. “Hasn't it always?”

An instantaneous memory of all the trouble that had sorted itself out in her life flickered past her mind’s eye. Garnet was right; there had been many times Pearl had thought she was doomed— irreversibly stuck— only for everything to work out eventually.

She felt herself relax at the thought, and Garnet squeezed her shoulder once more before strolling over to the pretzel stand.

Granted, Pearl realized, many of the things that worked out in her life had been due to her own actions; this wasn't something she could ignore and hope it fixed itself.

——-

“I'm baaaack!” The sound of the front door being kicked closed interrupted the hustle and bustle of cooking in the tiny kitchen. “And you're not gonna believe what happened,” Amethyst said.

“Tell me there wasn't a problem with the rings,” Pearl begged, darting out of the kitchen. She took some of the grocery bags currently weighing Amethyst down and set them on the table.

“Nah, they're all good,” Amethyst said, attempting to wave the fancy jeweler’s bag despite holding three other grocery bags with that same arm. “I checked.”

Garnet walked out of the kitchen area, wiping her hands with a hand towel. “Salmon’s done,” she announced. She looked over Amethyst’s predicament with the grocery bags and said, “Impressive for one trip.”

“Yeah! It was! I barely managed to unlock the door,” Amethyst said. She finally managed to disentangle herself from the flimsy plastic bags and shook her arms out. “But okay, so you remember that guy we talked to, not the last time but the first time we were there?”

“Mmhm.”

Amethyst continued, “It was that guy. And I'm like, I'm here to pick up an order, and he's like, oh I remember you, the friendship rings, right?”

Pearl clapped her hand to her forehead. “Friendship?”

“I know right!” Amethyst laughed. “And I think he knew he messed up because he got really nervous after that. I kept bringing that word up to fuck with him, so he got everything done really fast, like, five minutes tops. It was great.”

Garnet pulled out the ring boxes and opened them one by one to examine.

“Friendship rings. How on earth did he assume that? I mean, we are friends…” Pearl trailed off.

“But not in the way he thinks,” Garnet finished, setting down the third opened ring box. “The rings turned out well though.”

Pearl took the receipt from the bag and looked it over. “I was actually hoping your story was going to end with a discount, Amethyst.”

“Nah, but man that would have been nice—” Amethyst paused abruptly, staring at the rings before she was seemingly struck with either inspiration or insanity. In one swift movement, she grabbed two of the ring boxes and slid down onto one knee. “Since I picked them up I get to propose first!”

Pearl startled, for a moment not comprehending what was happening. “Amethyst?”

“Ah, I know I'm kinda proposing for both of you because we have three rings instead of six, but I hope that's okay?” Amethyst said.

“Go ahead,” Garnet said, beaming.

Pearl nodded, the confused shock fading into understanding. “…That's fine.” Understanding and the desire to kiss Amethyst might have been more accurate.

“Alright.” Amethyst took at deep breath. “So you guys are the best people I've ever met, like, my favorite people, and, and— seeing you is always the best part of my day.”

Instantly tearing up, Pearl cursed herself for being so emotional and blinked quickly, trying to undo the blurring of the scene before her. She swiped away the resulting tears and sniffled. Oh, Amethyst.

“And as a kid, I… I didn't really think anyone would want to marry me, spend all this time with me—“ Amethyst’s voice cracked and she looked at the floor.

“…Amethyst,” Garnet whispered. From the way the woman held herself, Pearl could tell Garnet was actively restraining herself from scooping Amethyst into a hug.

“Sorry uh, off track…” With what Pearl imagined took a gargantuan amount of willpower, Amethyst raised her head to meet their eyes again with a gaze that was both loving and so trustingly vulnerable. “I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm really glad I met you both and I feel like the luckiest person in the world, so you wanna just… live the rest of our lives together?”

Amethyst frowned. “I didn't word that righ—”

Garnet interrupted her with a hug that was more like a pounce, suddenly holding her tightly and kissing her. She pulled back, Amethyst’s face cradled in her hands, and wiped away a stray tear with her thumb. “It was perfect,” Garnet whispered, “You worded it perfectly.”

They exchanged beautiful, watery smiles while Pearl choked on a messy sob. She managed to regain control of her limbs and knelt down, pressing close to them in an attempt to convey the surge of affection she felt for them.

Amethyst tugged on the collar of Pearl's shirt and pulled her in for a kiss that tasted like salt from all their crying— something that Pearl found inexplicably hilarious, giggling as they parted.

“Wow, we’re a mess, huh?” Amethyst said, laughing as well.

Garnet chuckled and wiped under her own eyes. “A little.”

“Oh!” Amethyst’s eyes widened in realization. “Can't forget the rings.” She unburied one of the ring boxes from the depths of their impromptu cuddle pile and popped it open, revealing Garnet’s ring. “Here, G.” She took Garnet’s left hand, slid the ring on, and kissed it for good measure. “Ta-dah!”

Garnet grazed her other hand over the ring, smiling softly. “Thank you both. It's beautiful.”

“And I found yours, P. I think I was sitting on it,” Amethyst said, winking.

Pearl laughed and shook her head but allowed Amethyst to take her hand and place the ring on her finger. A small pearl sat in the center of the gold band, flanked by a glinting garnet and amethyst on each side; Pearl found it both gorgeous and symbolic— more symbolic than engagement rings already were, that is.

“Than—” She found herself choked up yet again and, instead of talking, kissed Amethyst once more and then Garnet right after. Kissing them one after the other like this always made her aware of just how different they were, and it somehow made her love them more.

Then the oven beeped.

“What's that?” Amethyst asked.

Pearl’s mind rapidly cleared as the oven emitted another insistent beep. “Oh! The bread,” she realized, beginning to untangle herself, “I don't want it to burn.” She stood up and brushed herself off.

“Hurry back,” Garnet called, “We have to propose to Amethyst next.”

“Looking forward to it.”

——-

“Are you nervous?”

In the mirror, Pearl shifted her gaze from fixing her hair to over her shoulder, where Yellow leaned coolly against the back wall, watching. “Kind of,” Pearl replied, “But more in an excited way than a bad way.” She drew her focus back to her hair and deemed it acceptable before turning around to face Yellow. “How do I look?”

“You look like you stole /my look/,” Yellow teased, gesturing to her own tuxedo, “But I look pretty good so I guess you must, too.” She adjusted her yellow bow tie importantly.

Pearl laughed at the roundabout compliment. “Well, I don't look like a sour lemon candy in tuxedo, sooo….”

“Sour lemon?” Yellow gasped, one hand flying to her (pale yellow dress shirt covered) chest. “How rude. I tied your bow tie for you!”

“Yo, P!” Amethyst’s voice called, “Are you ready?”

“One moment!” Pearl checked herself over one more time, brushing nonexistent dust from her tuxedo jacket, and then opened the door to meet Amethyst and Garnet.

Yellow slipped out of the room after her, offered the three of them a cheery, “Have fun!” and then walked out the back door to take her seat outside.

“You both look…” Pearl trailed off, taking in the sight of them.

Amethyst wore an asymmetric dress with differing shades of violet melting into each other, while Garnet wore a classic strapless, floor length gown in bright red tones.

Garnet raised her eyebrows expectantly. “I hope that pause is a compliment,” she said with a chuckle.

“I think it is,” Amethyst said, “Don't start drooling, P.”

Pearl shook her head briskly. “I was /not/ drooling,” she insisted, despite checking her lips as she said that. “And I was going to say ‘stunning.’ Or ‘elegant.’ I couldn't decide.” She could feel herself flushing as Garnet and Amethyst laughed.

“Why, thank you,” Garnet said, “You look very handsome yourself.”

The compliment didn't help Pearl’s blush fade, but she did find herself standing a little straighter, chest puffed out a bit. “Thank you.”

A knock sounded from the edge of the back door. Lapis popped her head inside. “You guys ready? Peridot’s antsy to show off her lines.”

Pearl glanced at Garnet and Amethyst. “I think so?”

Garnet nodded. “Thanks again, Lapis.”

“Yeah, you and Peridot have been great,” Amethyst said.

“No prob. It finally forced us to clean the house,” Lapis said, eyes roaming her living room as if making sure it was still tidied, “And besides, we owed you guys for saving our butts on our own wedding day.”

“I'm sure it would have been fine either way,” Pearl said.

Lapis crossed her arms and leaned on the door frame. “No way. Without the cake, my little cousins would have burned the venue down.”

“LAZULI, are they ready yet?”

Lapis turned her head to yell back, “Hold on!” She gave a thumbs up and left without another word.

A moment later the first bar of the Wedding March played, and Pearl’s heart paused and then restarted more vigorously than before. “Wait! I don't know what to do with my hands,” she whispered, wide eyes looking to Garnet and Amethyst for help.

Amethyst stifled a laugh with one hand and reached for Pearl’s with the other, and Garnet offered her arm on Pearl’s other side. Pearl took both gratefully and also took a moment to steady her pulse.

“You know, we don't /have/ to do this,” Garnet said softly.

“And what?” Amethyst laughed. “Be runaway brides at our own wedding?”

Pearl imagined she would be the most miserable person alive if she were to deprive Amethyst and Garnet of this experience— especially Garnet who probably wanted this the most and yet offered to skip it for Pearl's sake.

Absolutely not.

Pearl tightened her hold on Garnet's arm and Amethyst’s hand. “No, let's do this.”

They stepped out into the sunlight just in time to stop their guests from speculatively whispering about the delay. Despite the eyes watching them, Pearl found herself a little more at ease, finding solace in Amethyst and Garnet beside her (and, if possible, also in Peridot who waited with comedic self-importance ahead of them).

Peridot stood (on a box to make her slightly taller) at the end of the “aisle” in her green bow tie tuxedo outfit—much better than the oversized Halloween judge’s costume that Peridot had previously been considering.

The ceremony went by seamlessly; Pearl said her vows and “I Do’s,” and Garnet and Amethyst said theirs, and there wasn't a doubt in her mind that this was a real wedding— real for them, anyway.

“…You may kiss the bride. Or ‘brides’?” Peridot waved her hands. “Just do whatever.”

So they did.

——-

After acting as good newlyweds and chatting with Amethyst’s parents, who seemed uncomfortable but supportive, and with Garnet’s parents, who were bubbling with happiness for the occasion, they set about to mingling with the rest of the party.

“Nice cake,” Yellow said, sitting down across Pearl.

Pearl laughed. “Thanks. You'll have to tell Amethyst that,” she said, gesturing to where the woman was talking to Peridot nearby, “She put a lot of work into it.”

“I'll be sure to do that then...” Yellow abruptly fell silent and looked away, shoving her hands in her pockets and slouching down in her seat.

“What's wrong?” Pearl asked, setting her fork down by the remains of her wedding cake in preparation for whatever it might be. Hopefully the cake wasn't the issue.

“Well.” Yellow sighed heavily. “I want to ask Jasper to marry me.”

Pearl raised her eyebrows and let her gaze flicker to Jasper across the yard, over by the table that had the drinks and ice.

Jasper stared down her flute of champagne with her nose wrinkled like the drink had disgraced her before Garnet walked up, lightly shoving her arm in greeting. Garnet laughed at something Jasper said and offered her a new flute of champagne from the table.

Unsure as to what was happening there, Pearl drew her gaze away from the old boxing buddies and back to her despondent sister. “What's the problem? She doesn't want to marry you?”

“No, she wants to propose first!” Yellow said, as if it were the greatest outrage in all the world.

Pearl blinked, processing. “…The problem is that she might propose first?”

Yellow nodded with a straight face that soon dissolved into mirth. She pressed her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. “Oh man, I got you good.”

“Yellow!” Pearl found a balled up napkin and bounced it off of Yellow’s head. “You— I thought it was serious! How much champagne have you had?”

“Oh dear, what did I miss?”

Pearl looked up to find Blue watching them with amusement. “She—”

Yellow interrupted. “I fooled her!”

Blue laughed and pulled out a chair to sit down by Yellow. “Ah yes, the new wedding day tradition: fool the bride.”

Yellow waved her hand dismissively. “I’m sure she'll live, won't you, Pearl?”

Pearl grumbled and resumed eating her cake.

“But in short,” Yellow said cockily, “I'm trying to propose to Jasper, so don't be surprised if you have to drive back up here again for another wedding sometime this year.”

“Oh. Congratulations. I just saw Jasper almost drink a fly back there,” Blue said, nodding her head in Jasper's direction.

Yellow smirked at Blue’s dry teasing. “Everything loves her; what can I say?”

Blue laughed.

“So, how have you been?” Pearl asked, pushing her empty plate away. She didn't see Blue very often and sometimes found herself worrying over her— worries involving her parents absolutely losing it in their old age and doing something terrible to her. “Are they driving you crazy?”

“They are,” Blue admitted, “That's actually something I’ve been meaning to talk about.” She paused as if steeling herself. “I think I'm /finally/ going to move out—”

“Oh, awesome!”

“That's wonderful, Blue,” Pearl said.

“Thanks,” Blue said, hands fiddling with the edge of her baby blue skirt, “Most of my friends have moved away, so I don't think I'll stick around that area anymore. I was considering moving… here?”

“Here? Do it!” Yellow slammed her hand down on the table. “It’ll be great. Like old times.”

Blue nodded, her smile confident now. “I’ve already royally ticked Mom off by driving here without permission, so I decided I might as well stay a few days and apartment hunt.”

“We can help with that,” Pearl said, “I know of a few places.”

“Someone moved out of my apartment complex a week ago,” Yellow offered.

“You'll have to get me the details.” Blue paused again. “And thank you both; I wasn't so sure you'd be happy to hear that.”

Pearl frowned. “Why wouldn't we be?”

“I don't know.” Blue shrugged and picked at a napkin that was trying to flutter away in the breeze. “I guess I feel kind of silly tagging after my little sisters. I didn't even go to school here.”

“Oh, don't worry about that,” Yellow said, “We’re glad to have you.” She patted Blue on the shoulder a couple times in an attempt to be comforting.

What had happened in the past few years to make Blue so unsure of herself? Pearl’s impulse to hug Blue was barred by the table between them, so she said, “I'm glad you're here, Blue. It wouldn't be the same without you.”

Blue smiled and then laughed abruptly. “I'm sorry to bring the mood down. On today of all days! I think I need more champagne.” She rose from her seat.

“That's alright,” Pearl said, rising as well, “I should go see Rose.”

Rose and Greg, despite only vaguely knowing half of the party, were somehow still effortlessly social, judging by how they were chatting with Peridot and Amethyst; Rose had always been charismatic and charming, and Greg was just a laid-back sort of guy (so laid-back that, instead of an actual formal outfit, he wore a tee shirt with a tuxedo print— Pearl couldn't help but laugh).

“Don't forget to, like, actually spend time with your wives,” Yellow teased.

Pearl shook her head at Yellow’s remark and went to join the group, smoothly sliding in next to Amethyst. “Hello.”

Amethyst slung an arm around her waist and grinned up at her. “There you are, P!”

“I was sitting literally less than ten feet away,” Pearl said, gesturing to the table behind her, “Yellow says the cake was good.”

Using her free hand to cup around her mouth, Amethyst hollered, “THANKS YELLOW!”

“I'm right here! You don't have to shout!” Yellow shouted back.

Pearl and the rest of the group laughed. Rose's laugh in particular, even after all these years, bounded around Pearl's mind; she supposed it was only natural— it was Rose after all.

“Thank you again for coming,” Pearl said to Rose and Greg, “I can't imagine it was a fun drive.”

“I wouldn't miss it for the world,” Rose assured her.

Greg chuckled, his long hair shifting as he shrugged. “Besides, you paid for the hotel, so it's almost a free vacation.”

“That's one way of looking at it.” Amethyst snorted.

“Hey, I’ll… be back,” Peridot said, her gaze focused on the other side of the yard, where Lapis appeared to be busy shoving her entire arm into the ice cooler.

Sensing the eyes suddenly watching her, Lapis looked up and promptly offered the curious group a nonchalant wave with her unfrozen hand.

Amethyst laughed as Peridot left. “But are you gonna join her or stop her?”

“…Yes,” Peridot said unhelpfully.

They watched her walk over to her wife and, after a moment of what seemed like persuasion from Lapis, roll her sleeves up and begin rooting around in the ice cooler herself.

Pearl made a mental note not to use the ice.

“She's a riot,” Amethyst said.

Having never met Peridot or Lapis until that day, Rose and Greg couldn't help but nod in agreement to that statement.

“Now—” Amethyst stood on her tippy toes to give Pearl a quick kiss on the cheek. “—Garnet really likes this song and I owe her a dance. Though we gotta dance with you too later.” She playfully poked her bow tie.

Pearl smiled and straightened her bow tie once again. “I'll hold you to it.”

“It was nice seeing you guys again,” Amethyst said politely to Rose and Greg, “You'll have to tell Steven I said ‘hi.’”

Rose laughed. “Oh, we will.”

“See ya, Amethyst,” Greg said.

Amethyst nudged Pearl one last time and then scampered up to Garnet, giving a silly bow like she were in a ballroom instead of their friends’ backyard.

Pearl reluctantly drew her gaze away from the warm image of Garnet and Amethyst beginning to slow dance to a pop song and asked, “How /is/ Steven?”

“He's amazing as always, but also…” Rose paused, exchanging a look with Greg.

“Kinda fussy,” Greg finished with a chuckle, “Those terrible twos, you know?”

“Ah.” Pearl nodded. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Don't be,” Rose said, “Other than that he's a dear.”

Pearl found herself nodding again. “That's good,” she said. She really didn't have much experience in childcare— what else was there to say? Of all the times to forget how to continue a conversation!

Greg coughed uncomfortably when it became likely the silence might continue. “I'm gonna go get another… something,” he said, pointing to the table that held most of the food. “Uh. You guys need anything?”

Pearl shook her head, and Rose murmured a, “No, but thank you.”

Greg left, and Pearl’s rising panic over the lull in conversation faded away when Rose laughed, probably realizing what had happened.

“And then there were two,” Rose noted with amusement, “How's work?”

“Oh, well…“ Pearl chuckled uneasily. “I quit actually. It was for the best I think— rude people and lots of unnecessary stress. Now I'm an assistant teacher at the fencing academy.” She spoke too fast, quick to explain herself; most people would find what she had done selfish and reckless, and at times Pearl couldn't help but agree.

Rose blinked and then smiled warmly. “You never fail to surprise me, Pearl.”

“Really?” Pearl gave a bashful sort of laugh, glancing away.

“Really. I—“

Pearl looked up, curious as to what would cause Rose to falter in her words.

“…I’m proud of you,” Rose said.

“What? For quitting my well-paying job?” Pearl teased.

“Proud of you for standing up for yourself,” Rose clarified, “And for coming so far. I remember when we first met—”

“Oh no,” Pearl protested, already blushing.

“—and you tried to convert me with this cute little spiel, but then—“

Pearl covered her face. “Rooooose.”

The rest of Rose’s sentence was swept away in a cascade of giggles, her curls shaking with her laughter. “It's not that bad, is it?” she asked.

“It's embarrassing!”

Still chuckling quietly, Rose embraced Pearl in a more than welcome hug. “I'm sorry.”

“S’okay.” Pearl wasn't sure whether her voice was muffled by Rose's huge hair or her shoulder, but she knew Rose could hear her. She sighed and closed her eyes— tried not to think about Rose going home in a few days. “…Thank you for being my friend.”

“Thank /you/,” Rose said, pulling away slightly, her hands on Pearl’s shoulders. “You've helped more than you realize.”

Pearl raised her eyebrows at this tidbit of information. She was about to comment on it when her thoughts were thoroughly scrambled.

_Wise men say…_

She stiffened, her eyes immediately seeking out Amethyst and Garnet in the crowd, “inconspicuously” standing by the speakers, no doubt with one of their phones hooked up to them. Pearl chortled under her breath, her face brightening.

_Only fools rush in…_

Rose followed her gaze and then laughed in understanding. “They're summoning you,” she said, nudging Pearl forward, “You’d better go to them.”

Pearl didn't need much convincing. “I'll talk to you later. Give Steven my love.”

_But I can't help…_

“I will. Now, go have fun,” Rose said, waving her forward.

Pearl laughed at Rose's eagerness and left, weaving around a half a dozen metal folding chairs to reach her partners. “I wonder how this got on the playlist,” she said slyly, strolling up to the two.

_Falling in love with you…_

Amethyst grinned, playing along. “I don't know. Your song is a pretty common wedding song, so...”

“Wait, /my/ song?” Pearl questioned, hand on her chest.

_Shall I stay?_

“The song we met you to,” Garnet explained softly. She brushed a stray lock of hair behind Pearl’s ear, making her blush, flustered at the attention.

_Would it be a sin?_

“I keep thinking about how lucky it was that we were up singing that night,” Amethyst mused, “Who knows if we would have met if we weren't.”

Pearl set her hand warmly on Amethyst's shoulder. “I think we would have met eventually,” she said, “I can't imagine a universe where we didn't.”

_If I can't help…_

“We were /meant/ to meet, after all,” Garnet said, grinning as if holding back laughter at her own words. “My poor attempts at drunken flirting.”

The familiar words clicked into place. “I remember that,” Pearl said, fondly recalling the details of their strange first meeting, “It worked out pretty well, I'd say.”

_Falling in love with you._

“The trick to drunken flirting is to have a live shrimp tangled in your hair, obviously,” Amethyst joked. She wrapped her arm around Pearl's waist for the second time that day— in a way, it almost seemed like it belonged there.

“Obviously,” Pearl agreed. She turned in Amethyst’s grasp and took her hands in her own, briefly running her palm over the ring on Amethyst's finger. “Shall we dance?”

“So proper,” Amethyst teased, squeezing Pearl’s hands. “But the answer is yes, of course,” she added cheerily.

“I wish we could all dance at the same time without looking like a bizarre version of ring-around-the-rosy,” Pearl lamented.

Garnet and Amethyst both laughed at the image that created.

They took turns dancing with one another, taking care to remember to socialize with their guests at intervals too, and soon the afternoon melted into evening and the evening faded into dusk. Their friends and families slowly trickled out of the party as the night set in, leaving the three with the echoes of their farewells and congratulations.

Pearl stood with her arms wrapped loosely around Garnet's neck, her head resting against her shoulder. Their gentle rhythmic swaying was slowly but surely lulling her to sleep— standing up, if that was possible.

The glowing fairy lights became soft gold spheres as her eyes unfocused, obscuring her view of the tables and empty folding chairs and general mess of the darkened yard (a mess they would have to clean up sometime tomorrow; leaving Peridot and Lapis to do it would be terribly rude of them).

A cool breeze meandered through the bushes, causing Garnet to shiver and tighten her arms around Pearl's waist. Pearl stirred at the movement, raising her head up with a great deal of effort. “Do you want my jacket?” she asked.

“I'm alright.”

Pearl slid her hands across Garnet’s bare shoulders and down her upper arms, trying to warm her up. “Somehow I forgot you were in a dress,” she said, “No wonder you're cold.”

“I'm not,” Garnet insisted stubbornly. She tilted her head up to set her chin on top of Pearl’s head, as if that would stop the conversation.

Pearl let out a short puff of laughter. “Oookay.” She grazed her fingers back up— snickered at the resulting goosebumps— and rested her hands over Garnet's shoulders, hoping it would help with the cool night air some.

“…Thank you,” Garnet said after a moment.

“You're welcome.”

“Not about the cold,” Garnet said, the vibrations of her words rumbling in Pearl's ear, “I actually meant about… today. Not skipping out on this.”

Eyebrows raised, Pearl pulled back slightly so that she could see Garnet’s face. “I wasn't going to let a little stage fright get to me; I knew how much this meant to you,” she said, poking Garnet’s nose in a very Amethyst-like gesture, “And besides, I wanted this, too.”

“I didn't want to make you do anything you were uncomfortable with,” Garnet said.

Pearl shook her head, taking Garnet’s face into her hands. “You haven't,” she promised, leaning in so that their lips nearly brushed as she spoke. Garnet met her lips with her own in a comforting kiss.

When they parted, Pearl sighed. “It's been a fun day.”

“A long day,” Garnet added.

“If Amethyst would hurry back—”

“Yo! I heard my name,” Amethyst said, pulling the back door of their friends’ house closed. “Sorry that took a while. My stomach isn't so invincible anymore, I guess.”

“That's alright,” Garnet said, extending an arm to offer Amethyst to join them. Amethyst shrugged in a “Why not” sort of way and embraced the other two.

Pearl glanced up at the stars, doing her best to imprint this moment in her memory. She wanted to remember how the night air felt, how her feet ached from dancing, how Garnet and Amethyst fit like puzzle pieces with her. Their make-believe wedding night.

“This is great,” Amethyst said after a minute, voice muffled in Pearl's dress shirt, “But I'm tired, and also we should bail before Peridot and Lapis find out I clogged their toilet.”

“Amethyst!” Pearl jolted and leapt back a few feet. She looked toward the house in horror and then back to Amethyst who was not so quietly giggling at her reaction. Garnet let out a low chuckle as well.

Pearl sighed heavily and rubbed her face, trying to resist the tiny smile tugging at her mouth. “You're right. Let's go home.”

——-

It had taken two months for their work schedules to line up enough to take this beach trip— Pearl supposed that's what happened when one is too busy planning a wedding to plan a honeymoon— but they were finally ready to leave.

Or almost ready, at least.

Amethyst was on the floor shoving yet another something into her already overstuffed suitcase while Pearl rechecked that they had everything they needed. Garnet lounged on the couch, twirling the car keys around one finger as a silent reminder that they should get on the road soon.

“I think we have everything taken care of,” Pearl said, having finished going through her mental checklist. She looked expectantly at Amethyst.

“One minute,” Amethyst promised, “Just… gotta… shut it.” She pressed down against the suitcase while futilely trying to zip it closed with her other hand. “…Almost…” After a full minute of struggling against the suitcase, she flopped over it limply and groaned.

“Really Amethyst, I'm sure there's something you could take out,” Pearl said.

“Nope, we need all of it,” Amethyst declared, pushing herself up off the suitcase, “Someone just needs to sit on it so I can get it closed.”

Garnet stood up from the couch. “I'll do the honors.”

Instead of watching the tattered suitcase’s misfortune (or perhaps, its good fortune), Pearl huffed out an impatient sigh and looked toward their wall of pictures. The once blank part of the wall was now adorned with their unofficial wedding pictures and, after this trip, would soon have photos of sand castles and beach sunsets hanging on it, too.

She contemplated what sort of pictures would be on the wall in the future.

Maybe it would be a different wall altogether— one they owned and could actually paint, instead of this insipid eggshell color.

Amethyst’s triumphant “I think I got it!” and the loud “ZZZzzzzip!” of the suitcase finally getting closed made Pearl’s focus return to the two. She offered them both a hand up, pulling them to their feet.

“Now are we ready?” Pearl asked. She knew if they didn't leave soon she would end up thinking of something else that needed to be taken care of and they would never get out the door.

Garnet nodded. “I'm ready.”

“Yup, let's get this show on the road.” Amethyst hefted her suitcase upright and began to roll it to the door. “I cannot wait to watch people get attacked by seagulls.”

Smiling at Amethyst’s contagious excitement (and strange sense of humor), Pearl shouldered her messenger bag and grabbed the handle of her own suitcase.

“Almost forgot.” Garnet paused before she could step out of the door. She tossed the car keys over her shoulder along with a flash of a smile.

Pearl just barely caught the keys, fumbling with them several times like an inexperienced juggler. “Thank you,” she said once she had them safely in her grasp.

Garnet chuckled and continued out the door.

Pearl clutched the keys to her chest and cast one more glance at the framed photos.

At times they invoked such a sentimental feeling in her— nostalgia and relief and gratitude. The pictures showed all the wonderful people she had in her life, and how those wonderful people had helped her to grow.

Helped her find the courage to grow.

And now— the patterned edge of the car key pressed into her palm as she tugged her suitcase toward the front door— now, she had control of her own life and her own choices. It was something she couldn't claim to have had nearly ten years ago.

Her favorite decision by far—

Pearl walked out the door, where Garnet and Amethyst were waiting for her.

“—You two dorks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everyone! Sometimes I'm still surprised at how well-received this fic was. Thank you!
> 
> I'm not sure what other fics I'll be doing next, but I do want to write more. It just might be a while because my schedule this semester is nuts. Hah.
> 
> And one last note on Two Dorks: If your family is like Pearl's or (heaven forbid) worse, you're in my thoughts, and I hope you get out or somehow find a way to make things better for you.
> 
> And it's not your fault.
> 
> You deserve better.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A New Journey](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9381314) by [Brony4Ever1992](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brony4Ever1992/pseuds/Brony4Ever1992)




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